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Critical Praise for Hannah Alexander

“If you’re one of the millions of people who either watch ER on television, or read any of the Mitford books by Jan Karon, let me introduce you to your new favorite author: Hannah Alexander.”

—Terri Blackstock, author of the Cape Refuge series

“The Hannah Alexander writing team is masterful at creating places so real you’ll be looking for them on the map; characters so endearing you’ll think of them as friends, and struggles so compelling and genuine that you’ll identify with each one. Most importantly, the truth of God’s intimate involvement in lives shines through on every page they write.”

—Deborah Raney, author of After the Rains

“Hannah Alexander stands as one of the most talented storytellers in Christian fiction today. With a proven record of irresistible characters and stories that warm the heart, Hannah Alexander’s titles are always on my ‘must-read’ list.”

—Carol Cox, author of Yellow Roses

“Hannah Alexander creates the kind of characters you think about for days. I’ve almost been tempted to pray for them!”

—Debra White Smith, author of The Key

“Amidst the fascinating intricacies of an E.R. setting, the author weaves the lives of characters as they struggle with down-to-earth issues. Underlying it all is a rich sense of God’s faithfulness.”

—Sally John, author of Just To See You Smile

“Hannah Alexander takes her readers for a pulse-quickening ride while breathing life and intrigue into the mysterious world of medicine.”

—Kristin Billerbeck, author of As American as Apple Pie

“Hannah Alexander’s stories are never predictable but keep me on the edge of my seat rooting for her characters. I eagerly watch for her newest offerings and am never disappointed!”

—Collen Coble, author of Wyoming

“I always look forward to the next Hannah Alexander novel. Her books always have great characters and page-turning suspense. Keep it up, Hannah!”

—Lyn Cote, author of Autumn’s Shadow

Critical Praise for Hannah Alexander’s Previous Novels

Sacred Trust:

“Alexander is great at drawing the reader into her storyline and keeping them hooked until the resolution of the plot.”

—Christian Retailing

Solemn Oath:

“…Solemn Oath absolutely hit the ball out of the park. Hannah Alexander is going to have a hard time writing fast enough to keep up with reader demand.”

—Debi Stack, author of Martha to the Max!

Silent Pledge:

“Silent Pledge is a rare find.”

—Harry Lee Kraus, M.D., author of Serenity

“I found a gaggle of caring, interesting people who stole my heart with their struggles and made me cheer with their triumphs. Bravo!”

—Lisa Samson, author of Women’s Intuition

Second Opinion:

“Watch out—the newest Hannah Alexander book is another suspense-filled story that will captivate you from page one! Second Opinion has all the goodies I’ve come to expect from this outstanding author: a fast pace, vibrant characters, plot twists, engaging dialogue, realism, intelligence, humor, romance, and surprise endings. There’s no second guessing with Second Opinion. It’s an irresistible page-turner that will leave you begging for the next masterpiece by Hannah Alexander.”

—Debi Stack, author of Martha to the Max!

Necessary Measures:

“Necessary Measures is true-to-life ER action that envelops and engages. Hannah Alexander paints a broad and detailed picture of a small town emergency room and the relationships of those who serve there. Great family dynamics and realistic professional tension.”

—Kristen Heitzmann, author of A Rush of Wings

“Necessary Measures left me with chills. Hannah Alexander possesses an incredible storytelling gift that makes it impossible to read just a little. Necessary Measures becomes your constant companion until you’re finished, and even then, it leaves its mark.”

—Kristin Billerbeck, author of As American as Apple Pie

Hideaway

a novel

Hannah Alexander

www.millsandboon.co.uk

This book is dedicated to the Great Physician—

For my Father’s will is that everyone

who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have

eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.

—John 6:40

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Long ago we realized that any success in our efforts to write a readable novel was dependent on the goodwill of many people. Many thanks to Joan Marlow Golan, our editor, whose enthusiasm for this work has been a great encouragement. We also thank our agent, Karen Solem, whose wisdom and sweet spirit have guided us.

Thanks to Lorene Cook (Cheryl’s mom) who continues to put feet to her prayers for us.

Thanks to Ray and Vera Overall (Mel’s mom and dad), who never cease to encourage.

Thanks to our writing families online, ChiLibris and WritingChambers, who touch us from across the country and around the world.

Thanks to Jennifer Whitt, who was willing to allow us to pick her brain for her expertise with dreadlocks.

Thanks to C. J. McCormick, DVM, who lent us access to his vast knowledge of the peculiarities of animals.

Thanks to James Scott Bell, author and friend, who gave us his legal expertise.

Thanks to Jon Suit, former mayor Monett, who was able and willing to tell us far more than we will ever understand about small-town politics.

Thanks to Barbara Warren of Blue Mountain Editorial Service, for the nice slash and repair job, and for the input on gardening.

Thanks to Brenda and Doug Minton, for having a heart for the children most in need—and for having a garden that refuses to grow beneath the walnut trees.

Thanks to Jackie Bolton, who understands the psyche of a teenager—because her own heart is still young.

Thanks to Jack and Marty Frost, who never let up on us to do our best, and who quickly forgive us when we fail, time and time and time again.

Thanks to Jim and Louise Brillhart and Ardis Bareis for allowing us to take your names in vain.

We wish to give credit where it is due, but any mistakes or discrepancies are purely our own.

We earned them, we intend to keep them.

Chapter One

The scream of an ambulance bounced through the mauve-and-burgundy corridors of the Missouri Regional Hospital on the west side of Columbia. An elderly man moaned. A baby’s cry stung the air through the center of the eight-room emergency department.

Dr. Cheyenne Allison slipped into the untidy doctor’s call room, closed the door and locked it.

If only she could collapse onto the bed and stay there for a week. Or the whole month of March.

Ordinarily, she could breeze through a twelve hour shift and still have enough energy for a nighttime jog along the Katy Trail. But today, at 2:00 p.m. she already felt as if she’d been on duty for twenty-four hours without a break. In spite of her flu shot, in spite of the antiviral she had begun soon after experiencing the first symptoms, she felt like the framed green-and-purple blob on the wall that some idiot had mistaken for art when this department had been remodeled.

She had a full-blown case of influenza.

Cheyenne sank onto the chair and pressed the left side of her face against the smooth coolness of the desk. If only she could stay here until shift change at seven.

The telephone buzzed above her head. Without opening her eyes, she reached up and punched the speaker button. “Yes.”

“Dr. Allison? How you doing, hon?” It was Ardis Dunaway, the most seasoned nurse in the hospital and a good friend.

“You don’t want to know,” Cheyenne said. “Did you get those orders on bed one?”

“I got ’em. You need to see the baby in five. Fussy, with a fever of 103.7 in triage.”

Cheyenne resisted the urge to request a physician replacement. “I’ll be there. Is the cefotaxime hanging on Mr. Robb yet?”

“Got it, and the shoulder X-ray on the girl in five.”

“Did I hear an ambulance a minute ago?”

“That’s right, it sped right on past us to University Hospital.”

Good. Why couldn’t they do that with the rest of their patients today? Divert them all to the big boys. It amazed Cheyenne that this place stayed so busy, with two trauma centers only moments away. Apparently, the homey atmosphere here drew them in.

“I’m coming, Ardis.”

Ninety seconds later, wearing a fresh mask to protect her patients from any stray germs, Cheyenne checked out a fussy infant with a red ear. As she used a bulb insufflator to blow air onto the eardrum, the baby’s cries blended with the wail of another siren. Must be a busy day for University and Boone County.

As Cheyenne reassured the mother and comforted the child, the wail outside grew louder.

It stopped. Too close.

When the siren died the baby fell silent, and his mother relaxed noticeably.

Moments later, Ardis stepped to the exam room door. Gone was the motherly grin of the seasoned nurse. “Dr. Allison, we need you in room three.”

“Coming.” Cheyenne patted the mother’s shoulder, jotted a quick order for the nurse and followed Ardis down the hallway. “What’s up?”

“Ambulance brought us a chest pain patient. Twenty-eight years old.”

“Suspected drug abuse?” For someone so young, that was the norm.

“The attendant says it looks more like a panic attack, and I was told she’s been calling for you by name.”

“For me? What’s her name? Did she say why—”

“She won’t give the attendants any information,” Ardis said. “Nobody told her you were here, she just asked for you. I thought you’d want to see her quickly.”

Cheyenne entered the exam room behind the nurse. An ambulance attendant hovered next to the patient with his chart, checking blood pressure as another nurse transferred EKG leads from the ambulance monitor to the hospital’s equipment.

The patient’s trembling hands covered her face. Silky black hair, as dark and glossy as Cheyenne’s, fanned across the pillow.

Cheyenne stepped to the side of the bed and touched the woman’s shoulder gently. “Hello, I’m Dr.—”

The hands fell away.

Cheyenne caught her breath. “Susan?”

Tears dripped down sharply chiseled, honey-tanned cheeks. Cheyenne’s baby sister reached for her.

“Oh, Chey, I’m so scared. My chest hurts. What’s happening?”

Dane Gideon stepped down from the broad front porch of the ranch house, studying the line of dust clouding the atmosphere above the quarter-mile drive that led from the highway. The early March sunlight dazzled nearby Table Rock Lake with shafts of jeweled colors that built a prism around the small village of Hideaway along the opposite shore.

The sound of tires crunching gravel rippled the peaceful silence as the car pulled into the parking area. Dane saw the dark outline of the passenger. The kid had dreadlocks, skin the color of untouched espresso, eyes narrowed with obvious apprehension—the typical mask of disillusionment in a face too young to bear it.

Clint, the social worker who sometimes seemed to haunt this place, parked beneath the bare oak tree and nodded to Dane with a grim smile. He spoke to the passenger. The teenager shook his head and looked away.

Dane read resentment in every movement.

Clint got out of the car, leaving the door open. “We’ve got another reluctant one for you,” he said, loudly enough for his voice to carry back to the car. “Can’t seem to convince him this place’ll be like summer camp.”

Dane grinned. “Or boot camp.”

Clint took Dane’s hand in a firm shake. “Thanks for accepting Gavin. Knew you’d be perfect for him. Good kid.”

The “good kid” flinched, shot a glare at Clint, crossed his arms over his chest.

“His room’s ready,” Dane said. “He’s bunking with Willy.” Clint had escorted Willy here four months ago, under similar conditions.

Richard Cook came striding around the side of the large, two-story house. Apron in place, hair combed back in a wispy gray cap, the older man—who answered only to the surname that also described his job at the ranch—walked across the barely green lawn and nodded to Dane. Willy came rambling up from the barn, obviously curious about his new roommate and—just as obviously—trying not to show it.

Dane grinned at the skinny fourteen-year-old who had taken so well to ranch life. Maybe he would help Gavin settle in.

While the social worker turned to greet Cook and Willy, Dane stepped to the car, slid behind the steering wheel and closed the door.

Gavin breathed with studiously quiet drags, as if the activity caused him pain.

“I’m Dane Gideon.”

Only a short break in breathing rhythm indicated the teenager had heard.

Knowing Clint, Dane surmised that the fifteen-year-old had been filled in on all aspects of his new home, from the duties he would have on this thriving ranch, to the size of the house, to the school he would be attending. No doubt he’d also been given thumbnail sketches of the other “inmates” at the ranch.

With a quick glance over his shoulder in the direction of the town, Dane allowed himself a moment of doubt. Was he taking on too much this time?

“You going to tell me your name?” he asked the teenager.

The kid’s lips parted, his throat muscles worked, but no sound came out. He cleared his throat and turned to Dane with a garish smile. “Howdy, partner,” came the mocking cadence of his surprisingly baritone voice. “You can call me Blaze. It’s who I am, it’s what I do according to my mama—and mamas never lie, do they?” Bitterness dripped from his words.

“Depends. Did you set the fire?”

The smile sifted from his face like wisps of sand blown from the surface of a rock. “Think I’m stupid? If I say I didn’t, you’ll call me a liar. If I say I did, I’d be lying.”

“Then why don’t we talk about that later? Right now, let’s unload your things and show you around. Your roommate left school early so he could meet you as soon as you arrived. Since this is Friday, you’ll have the weekend to settle in and learn your chores before we enroll you in school.”

The kid’s scowl deepened. “Not going to no school.”

“You don’t have a choice, and neither do I, Gavin.”

“Blaze! My name’s Blaze. It’s what my—”

“You were acquitted.”

“You want to tell me what I’m doing here, then?”

“You wouldn’t be at this ranch if you’d been found guilty of a crime.”

“But I’m not home with my mama, am I?”

It was Dane’s turn to be silent. That was one of the most difficult things he had to deal with here—boys who felt unloved, unwanted.

“You got that straight,” Gavin said. “My mama’s judge and jury on this case. Long as I’m here, my name’s Blaze.”

Cheyenne pressed several facial tissues into her sister’s left hand. “I know it’s scary, Susan, but try to relax so we can get a good reading on your heart. You’re going to be fine. I picked up on the murmur right away—I think it’s your mitral valve problem, but I want to make sure.”

Susan nodded, blinking back tears.

When Cheyenne was in eleventh grade and Susan still in elementary school, Cheyenne had discovered her baby sister’s mitral valve prolapse with her new Christmas present from her parents—a stethoscope. From that time on, Cheyenne had taken Susan’s condition on as a personal responsibility. It was what had motivated her through those first horrendous two years of med school.

She still took that responsibility seriously.

Susan’s hand trembled as she mopped her face with the tissues. “It’s never hurt like this before, Chey.”

“Why don’t you tell me what led up to it? Heavy exercise? Did something happen that upset you?”

Susan hesitated, then nodded, glancing at the others in the room. “I guess you could say that,” she murmured.

Cheyenne respected her sister’s unspoken plea for privacy. She glanced at Ardis, who stood in her usual spot, checking the monitor while the tech from Respiratory handled the EKG machine.

The tech handed the printout to Cheyenne, then disconnected the leads from Susan’s chest. “Want me to leave the machine in here, Dr. Allison?”

“Yes, we’ll do another test after the heart rate slows down and we get rid of the muscle-tremor artifact.” Cheyenne gave her sister a reassuring grin. “It looks good, but we need to find out what’s causing this.”

“I’ve never felt like this before, Chey. I’m sorry to be such a big baby, but it scared me.”

“You’re no baby. Are you sure the pain doesn’t radiate to your jaw or your arm? Nothing in your back?”

“My hands feel tingly.”

“Both of them?”

Susan flexed her fingers. “Yes.”

“That could be from hyperventilation.”

“Is this what they call a panic attack?”

“It could be.” Panic attack would have been Cheyenne’s diagnosis if this were anyone else. But Susan was not one to panic. So what had sent her heart into overdrive?

Susan inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, but they flicked open again when the outgoing EKG tech greeted the incoming radiology tech, who pushed a portable X-ray machine in front of him.

“Susan, we’re going to get a picture of your chest,” Cheyenne explained. “Just relax. You know I’ll take care of you.” She leaned over the bed and held her sister’s gaze.

Susan took another deep breath and lay back, the midnight strands of her shaggy-cut hair splaying across the pillow. She looked up at Cheyenne, dark eyes filled with trust.

Cheyenne squeezed her arm. “You want me to have the secretary call Kirk?”

“No!” Susan’s head raised from the pillow once more. “Please, I don’t want him to know about this.”

“It’s all right,” Cheyenne said. “I won’t call.” She stepped out of the room long enough for the tech to get the X ray of Susan’s heart—just in case. “It’s going to be okay,” she called reassuringly from the doorway.

What was the problem between Susan and her husband?

Chapter Two

Dane stood beside Clint at the far edge of the yard and watched Willy and Gavin walk toward the barn—Willy’s typically talking hands graced the air to emphasize whatever verbal point he was trying to make with Gavin.

What a contrast—the scrawny fourteen-year-old with closely cropped brown hair and glasses was nearly a head shorter and fifty pounds lighter than Gavin. Where Gavin had muscles, Willy had skin. Where Gavin had dreadlocks, Willy had—practically—skin.

“The dreadlocks will take some adjustment,” Dane said.

Clint chuckled. “For Blaze or for you?”

“For Hideaway. And I refuse to call him Blaze. It’s derogatory.”

“You’ve been living out here in the sticks too long, Dane. You need to get to the city more often.”

“No, thanks.”

“Still hiding out?”

“I’m not hiding from anything.” Dane used his “back off” voice as he nodded toward Gavin. “He’s already got two problems fitting in.”

“Do I want to hear this?”

“He’s a ‘ranch kid,’ and he’s got dark skin.”

“Hold it.” Clint made a show of covering his ears. “It isn’t politically correct for me to hear this.”

“You don’t like the term ranch kid?”

“You know what—”

“Deal with it. That’s the way it is here. When I came to Hideaway, I moved back twenty years in time—in some ways, more like fifty. Many of the natives have been here for two or three generations. They hate change. Many of them are still leery of me because I’m divorced with no children of my own. And it’s no coincidence that everyone within a ten-mile radius of Hideaway looks askance at Jason because he has a deeper tan than most of the natives.”

“Then move somewhere else. Take the kids with you. You can afford that.”

Dane shook his head. “I belong here.”

Clint snorted. “I suppose God told you that.”

Dane ignored his friend’s cynical tone. “We all have our place in life. I’ve found mine.” He watched with growing interest as Willy introduced Gavin Farmer to Gordy, the most cantankerous cow of the herd, through the barn lot fence. Gordy was short for Gordina—the name of a bossy woman he had admired in his church.

“A perfect place,” Clint murmured. “Taming wild teenagers to become model citizens? Putting up with Austin Barlow every time he wants to make you a target for one of his special vendettas?”

“I hate to admit this, but I’m enjoying the challenge of those vendettas. Austin isn’t invincible.” Dane gestured toward Gordy. The cow stood close to the fence, allowing Gavin to scratch her ear. “Would you look at that? I’ve never seen her do that before.”

“The kid has a way with animals. He worked with his father in his veterinarian practice.”

“I knew from the report his father was a vet, but it didn’t give much information about the mother,” Dane said. “Any insights there?”

“All I know is the parents were long estranged, and that she had her own demanding job. Wouldn’t even leave it long enough to collect her son when his father was killed in the wreck last year. Social services stepped in, suggested foster care, placed him and he ran away. His mother finally, reluctantly, agreed to take him, but three weeks after he moved in with her, their house burned down.”

“None of that’s in the report.”

“We don’t always put everything in those reports, because we don’t always have all the information we need.”

“So what does the kid’s mother do?”

“She’s a manager for a fast-food chain down in Arkansas. She does pretty well, seems efficient at her job, but when it came to Gavin, she couldn’t cope.”

“So she claimed Gavin deliberately set fire to their house?” Dane exclaimed. “Does she have any reason to believe that?”

“Only an episode when he accidentally set the living room on fire when he was a child.”

“Nothing since then?”

“Not on record.”

Dane gave him a quick look. “That isn’t reassuring.”

“He’s an innocent kid caught in a mess, Dane.”

“You’re sure? I’ve got other kids to think about, and the town is always watching—”

“Give him some time and see what you think,” Clint said. “Anyway, his mom isn’t able to keep him. I feel he needs a mother, though. Frankly, you weren’t my first choice for him—you don’t even have a woman on the ranch, unless you count Gordy.”

“She’s a good mama. Her calves always grow well.”

“Think you can work one of your miracles, Dane?”

“I don’t work miracles.”

“You seem to know Somebody who does.”

Cheyenne wrote discharge orders for two patients, washed her hands and replaced her mask. When she entered Susan’s exam room again, no other medical personnel were there.

Cheyenne closed the door behind her and went to her sister’s bed. “How are you feeling?”

Susan nodded. “Better. It doesn’t hurt as much. By the way, what’s with the mask?”

“Flu.” Cheyenne slumped onto the stool beside the bed. “I don’t want to risk passing it on to a patient.” She tapped the mask with her fingers. “This is just a precaution. I don’t feel too bad.” Liar. You feel wretched. “Your lab reports all look good, but let’s get a repeat EKG before I discharge you. Now that your heart rate is slower and you aren’t shaking so badly, we’ll get a better reading.”

Susan nodded.

“Speaking of shaking,” Cheyenne said, “what could have set this off? I’ve never known you to have a panic attack before.”

“So you think that is what happened?”

A question instead of an answer. “I don’t know for sure, but that could have been what disturbed your mitral valve. I’ve already scheduled an outpatient echo for you for next Monday.”

“Oh, Sis, do we have to do that? I don’t really want Kirk to know about—”

“We have to make sure that valve isn’t going to cause any major problems.” Cheyenne touched Susan’s left hand. “I’m not taking any chances with you. If you’re worried about Kirk knowing, I’ll have the hospital send me the bill.” But why shouldn’t Susan’s husband know?

“No, don’t do that. It’s…it isn’t that bad.”

Cheyenne leaned forward. If it wasn’t that bad, why was Susan suddenly avoiding eye contact? “I know you don’t like to take medication, but I’ve ordered something to calm you down.”

“A tranquilizer?”

“Yes. You won’t have to worry about any more needles, since you already have the IV. It won’t fix the problem, but it might help make everything more bearable until we can find the real culprit.” But of course the real culprit was Kirk Warden—Cheyenne had known that for some time.

Susan swallowed, then nodded. “Could you give me something…to take with me?”

“I’ll write you a script.” Cheyenne hesitated. “You’ll need a ride home. I’d let you take my car, but you can’t drive under the influence of this medication. If you can’t call Kirk—”

“I’ll get a taxi. Can I work? I have an appointment with a client whose house I’m decorating this afternoon. She’s a neighbor who lives just three houses west of us, so I won’t have to drive there.”

“Sure, you can work…if your client doesn’t mind a little drug-induced creativity.” Cheyenne got up, battling a wave of nausea. “Since you’re getting a taxi, I’ll dispense some tablets for you here so you won’t have to stop at a pharmacy.”

“Thanks.” Still no eye contact.

Cheyenne leaned closer. “Honey, what’s going on with you?”

Susan dabbed at her face with a tissue. “It’s no big deal, Sis, okay?”

“Wrong answer. I’m your doctor right now, not your sister. You don’t have panic attacks for ‘no big deal.’ What happened with Kirk today?” Please talk to me, Susan. The sound of another ambulance siren barely reached them from the highway.

“We had a little disagreement over the telephone,” Susan glanced toward the closed door. “Are you sure no one can hear us?”

“Positive.”

“I decided to file my taxes separately from his this year. When I told him, he went ballistic. I wouldn’t have done it, except I’ve been comparing notes with his secretary, and we don’t jibe. If he’s cheating on taxes, I don’t want any part of it.”

Cheyenne closed her eyes, glad the mask over the lower portion of her face would conceal some of her dismay.

“If he finds out she talked to me, he’ll fire her,” Susan said.

Anger intensified Cheyenne’s nausea. For her sister’s sake, she had put up with Kirk’s borderline antagonism since he and Susan had become engaged eight years ago. Cheyenne had sat through countless uncomfortably silent dinners, had timed her visits to the house when Kirk would be at work, had run interference when Mom and Dad flew up from Florida to visit. Occasionally, Susan spent the night with Cheyenne, when Kirk was out of town on business—he had his own computer networking firm.

“The stress with Kirk could be a trigger for your chest pain,” Cheyenne said.

“I’m not sure what I can do about it.”

Cheyenne decided not to mention the obvious solution. “What else is going on with you?”

Susan looked down at her hands, picking at her cuticles. “Kirk isn’t…always happy with me.”

“Happy in what way?”

“The problem is, he thinks I’ve become too independent with my business, and he’s decided to tighten the reins.”

Those weren’t reins, they were more like screws. “In what way?” Cheyenne asked gently.

Susan closed her eyes and raised a hand to her face—a shaking hand. “He’s taken all the money out of our joint account and placed them in a different bank, using his name alone.”

Cheyenne willed away her own outrage. Susan couldn’t handle that right now. “Do you think he’s planning to divorce you?”

“We don’t believe in divorce.”

We? Was Kirk cheating on his taxes but still pretending to be some upstanding, good “Christian” man? What a laugh.

“I just don’t know what to do next,” Susan said. “It’s so…so hard to realize that the man I married isn’t the man I’m married to. You know what I mean?”

Cheyenne nodded, though she didn’t really know. Her whole life had been caught up in her career, with only one serious relationship. That had ended in pain when the man she loved couldn’t endure her hours—or her success. “You could move in with me, Susan. You’ll never have to put up with that kind of treatment while I’m alive.”

“I’m the one who got myself into this mess,” Susan murmured. “I’ll stick it out.”

Cheyenne bit her tongue and remained silent. Blast the too holy standards of Susan’s religion. Didn’t anyone at their church see what a hypocrite Kirk was?

“If you need money to get you by—”

“Chey, I’m doing fine.” Susan touched Cheyenne’s arm. “Thanks. It seems like half the neighborhood has decided to redecorate, and they’re calling me to do it. I’ve opened a bank account in my name alone. I’ll be fine. Maybe Kirk’s just going through a bad time right now, and I…I need to be more understanding and…pray for him.”

Cheyenne clamped her teeth together. Susan could exercise her Christian principles and turn the other cheek all she wanted, but Cheyenne wasn’t—

There was a knock at the door, then Ardis opened it and came inside. “Got you some snooze juice, my dear. Just relax.” She injected the syringe into Susan’s IV port. “It’s a temporary fix, but you’ll start to feel better real quick.”

Susan nodded. “Thanks. Chey, everything’ll be fine.”

Cheyenne patted her sister’s hand. I’m not so sure.

Chapter Three

Dane Gideon stepped through the barn door and switched on the overhead light. The remaining Holstein heifer could be inoculated and released into the pasture.

No problem. He would have it done before the boys came home from school.

Not until he had the calf cornered in a stall did he recognize the little white bell on her otherwise black face. Too late, he heard the deep, rumbling moo of an angry mama cow behind him. Gordy.

He should have waited.

She lowered her head and came at him, her huge nostrils snorting so forcefully her breath swept dust and particles of straw into a tiny cloud at her feet.

Dane jumped up the side of a nearby stall, grabbed the ladder and climbed to the loft. He turned in time to see Starface skittering out of the barn ahead of her indignant mother.

“Should’ve sold that ornery animal years ago,” he muttered, slowly descending the ladder.

Gordy hurried after her baby, ears perked forward, her long, Holstein body all bulk and bones in the reflection of the afternoon sunlight.

Dane reached the barn floor in time to hear a loud whistle, followed by a “Yeehaw!” from outside.

He ran to the door to find Starface running back toward him, with Gordy in hot pursuit. He scrambled backward against a concrete stand, leaped atop it.

Another whistle pierced the gloom of the barn. Metal slapped wood—the slamming of the barn lot gate—then came another whistle.

Gordy waggled her head at Dane, big ears fluttering as she turned to investigate the sound.

“Cook? Is that you?” Dane called.

A familiar, broad-shouldered form came striding inside, dreadlocks bouncing, thumbs hooked over the belt loops of his jeans. “Don’t you want to vaccinate Starface before—”

“Gavin, get back!”

Gordy lowered her head and charged as Gavin scrambled sideways. Dane jumped down and ran after the cow.

“Gordy, over here!” He waved his arms over his head. “You old battleaxe, get away!”

Gavin leaped over the fence in one youthful motion.

Gordy swerved and rammed Dane with her shoulder. He hit the ground as she swerved away, kicking out with her foot to land a solid blow to his left thigh.

A loud grunt echoed in his head as he fell against the fence. The gate swung back and a hand grabbed his shirt, then jerked him, half dragging, half lifting him, out of the lot. As soon as he was clear, Gavin slammed the gate in the cow’s face.

Dane slumped against the outside of the fence while Gavin shoved the gate latch home.

“You okay?” Gavin asked, bending over him.

Dane gritted his teeth against the pain in his thigh. “I’ll be fine.”

“Sorry, I forgot Willy said Gordy had a mean streak.” Gavin gestured over his shoulder toward the cow and calf. “I know better.”

Dane caught sight of Gavin’s blood-streaked sleeve. “You’re bleeding.”

Gavin held his arm up and inspected a small cut at the base of his wrist. “I’ll get that taken care of. Guess that old cow hasn’t seen many black guys with locks like mine, huh?”

Dane rubbed his thigh. “I don’t think that had anything to do with it.”

“Do you want to vaccinate the calf while we’ve got her in the lot?”

“Thanks, Gavin, but I think we’ll let them go this time.”

“When’re you going to start calling me Blaze?”

“When it becomes your legal name. What are you doing out of school early?”

“Last hour’s PE, and I didn’t have dress-out clothes, so I told the teacher I’d be good and come straight here if he let me leave early. Why do you have such a fuss with a silly ol’ nickname? Everybody else calls me Blaze.”

“Good for them. We’ll find you some exercise clothes and shoes tonight.”

“Guess you know I’ll be sixteen in three weeks.”

“Yes. What do you want for your birthday?”

“To quit school.”

“Sorry, no way. Anything else?”

“It’ll be legal then. A guy doesn’t have to go after his sixteenth birthday.”

“He does if he plans to stay here at the ranch.”

Gavin blinked at Dane. “You mean I have to keep going to school just to stay here?”

“That’s the deal. Gavin, you’re still bleeding.” An inch-long cut should have stopped bleeding by now, unless it was deeper than it appeared. The end of Gavin’s sleeve was soaked red.

The teenager pressed his fingers over the wound. “Nobody told me about that rule when I agreed to come here.”

“You may find there are a lot of things around here nobody told you about.”

Gavin gave a disgusted grunt.

“Come on,” Dane said. “Let’s get you to the house and clean your—”

“Okay, fine, then there’s something else I want for my birthday.”

“I hope it’s Gordyburgers,” Dane muttered, still aching from the kick.

“Call me by my chosen name.”

Dane put a hand on Gavin’s shoulder and nudged him toward the house. “I don’t understand the logic of calling yourself Blaze when you aren’t an arsonist.”

“Something my daddy taught me.”

“I thought he was a veterinarian.”

Gavin gave Dane an impatient look.

“Sorry. What did your father teach you?”

“To take the sting out of the name. Beat ’em to the punch.”

“Did kids at school call you names?”

“That’s for me to know. Why’re you limping?”

“Gordy kicked me.”

“Better get some ice on it.”

“I plan to.”

“Come on, you can say it. ‘I plan to, Blaze.’”

“For three more weeks, your name is Gav or Gavin, take your pick.”

“Missouri Regional, this is 841, we are currently inbound for your facility….”

Cheyenne glanced at her watch, groaned, straightened at her desk, still fighting the nausea. “Go away,” she muttered. Twenty more minutes, and Brillhart would be here. Why hadn’t she asked Ardis to call him sooner?

“…Caucasian female, late twenties, class one trauma from an MVA. Patient’s car was struck in the driver’s side, had to be extricated. Patient is fully immobilized, responsive only to pain. We are attempting to establish IV at this time. BP sixty over forty by—”

“Coming here?” Ardis exclaimed. “Did you hear that? They’re bringing us a class one.”

Cheyenne reached for the ambulance radio and keyed the microphone. “Eight-forty-one this is medical control. Divert to University Hospital. We are not a designated trauma facility.”

“Missouri Regional this is 841, we copy but cannot comply. University and Boone are both on full trauma diversion at this time. ETA of five minutes.”

Cheyenne pressed the button again. “Eight-forty-one, this is medical control. We roger your last transmission. Please advise of any change in patient’s condition. This is medical control at Missouri Regional out.” She disconnected.

“Oh, my. What do we do now?” the secretary asked.

“Advise RT and X Ray we’ve got a hot one coming in fast.” Cheyenne turned in her chair. “Quickly, Deanna.”

“G-got it, Dr. Allison.” The secretary swallowed and jerked up the telephone.

Cheyenne nodded to Ardis. “Have Lab get four units of O-negative blood STAT. I want it in this department when the patient arrives. Then attempt to notify the surgeon on call for backup. Let him know what we have.”

Ardis went to work.

Cheyenne found the intubation kit in the trauma room and selected the appropriate size ET tubes. What a time to have the flu.

The radio came alive again. “Missouri Regional, this is 841. Be advised our patient is now in full arrest. I repeat, our patient is in full arrest. Following ACLS protocol. ETA less than two minutes.”

Cheyenne made eye contact with Ardis. They would do all they could, but the odds were against this patient surviving.

“Everyone get your protective gear on,” Cheyenne said.

“I hear the sirens now,” the secretary called.

“Make sure RT and X Ray are on their way down,” Cheyenne said. “Ardis, check on that blood.” The trauma room was ready. “Aprons, masks, gloves, everyone.”

Stepping to the window that overlooked the ambulance bay, Cheyenne caught sight of the red-orange-red-orange flash of lights as the van safety-sped into the lot. Tension thickened the air in the Emergency Department.

“We can do this,” she said. “Get ready.”

The RT tech came racing down the far end of the corridor pushing her supply cart.

Ardis hung up the telephone and swung toward Cheyenne. “They’re getting the blood ready, Dr. Allison.”

“Good. Come with me.” Cheyenne looked for the ER tech. “Rick, you too.” She led the way out to the bay, where the driver was yanking open the back doors of the ambulance.

The attendants pulled the intubated patient from the vehicle. Cheyenne’s first sight of the patient was the flash of red blood marring a half-naked body—the attendants had stripped her to check for all injuries.

“Rick, take over compressions,” Cheyenne ordered the tech. “What’s the rhythm?” she asked the attendant, standing back as they wheeled the stretcher toward the door.

“PEA,” the paramedic said.

Pulseless electrical activity. No surprise, judging by the apparent blood loss. The patient was unrecognizable.

“How much fluid have you given?” Cheyenne asked, following them through the door.

“We’ve only been able to give about a hundred cc’s,” the paramedic replied. “I could only get a twenty-two gauge IV started.”

Not big enough. “We need at least a twenty gauge.” She turned to Ardis. “I need you to establish a large-bore IV, have her ready for the blood when it arrives.”

“I’ll get right on it.”

They helped transfer the patient to the ER trauma bed while the respiratory tech took over bagging the patient, helping her breathe. Cheyenne moved to the patient’s left side to check for placement of the ET tube, leaving her right side accessible to Ardis.

No breath sounds over the abdomen. Good. That meant the patient had been intubated properly. Pressing the bell of the stethoscope over the patient’s bloody chest, she raised a hand for Rick to delay the next compression.

No heartbeat.

She nodded for him to continue.

As she removed the stethoscope from the patient’s rib cage, she saw a dark blotch on the skin. A large birthmark just below the left breast.

She looked at the face again, reached for the blood-matted hair.

Black. It was the length of…

She looked at the paramedic. “You said she was the driver?”

“Only person in the car. We pulled her from beneath the steering wheel.”

Cheyenne couldn’t catch her breath. “And the car? Did you notice what kind…?”

“Dark blue Sable sedan.”

The edges of Cheyenne’s vision went black and she felt herself slipping backward. It can’t be—I told her not to drive, she said she wouldn’t….

“Dr. Allison!” Ardis yelled.

“Oh, Susan. Oh, please God, no.” Cheyenne fought to regain her composure. “Where’s that blood!” she snapped.

“Right here,” Ardis said. “Hold on, Dr. Allison, I can’t get the large bore IV.”

“Have you heard from the surgeon?”

It couldn’t be Susan. She was only going to a neighbor’s house.

But her sister’s silhouette—the undamaged part—was obvious now.

“Our on-call surgeon is also on trauma call for University,” Deanna said. “We’re trying to reach someone else, but—”

“Ardis, get me a central line kit,” Cheyenne ordered. “She needs blood now. And get X Ray in here for a trauma series. Now!”

“Dr. Allison?” came a voice from the hallway. It was her replacement. Jim Brillhart. His tall, lean form filled the doorway. “How can I help?”

She looked up at him, felt the floor rock beneath her.

He rushed forward and caught her arm. “Are you okay?”

“I’m getting ready to do a central line on this patient. I’ll take the jugular so I won’t interfere with CPR.”

“You want me to do it?”

“I’ll be fine.” She refocused on her procedure, felt the sweat coat her neck and chest and trickle down the sides of her face as she tried to keep her hands steady

A tech reported on the CBC and Cheyenne prepared for a transfusion as the respiratory tech came into the crowded room with a report on Susan’s blood gas that deepened Cheyenne’s frown.

“That could be venous,” she said. They missed the artery and got a vein. “Take it again.”

“Dr. Allison, I really don’t think it’s—”

“One more time.”

The X-ray tech brought in the trauma X-ray series and mounted them on the view box.

It showed multiple left rib fractures with a massive collection of blood in the left chest cavity. Multiple pelvic fractures with a ground glass appearance on the X ray.

No, Susan. No!

“Get me a chest-tube setup. And wrap a sheet around her pelvis and tighten it as much as you can.”

Rick looked up from his compressions, though he continued in perfect rhythm. “You want me to stop doing compressions when you put in the chest tube?”

“Yes, but no longer than absolutely necessary. Get somebody fresh to spell you.”

“Let me do the chest tube,” Jim said, “then I’ll take over for Rick.”

“Check for fine V fib,” Cheyenne said as he placed the tube. Susan, baby, work with me. Don’t you dare die on me!

The monitor remained an agonal rhythm, but it now appeared more asystole.

Flatline.

No! She would not let that happen!

“Where’s that surgeon? I need him now.”

“I’m sorry, Dr. Allison, but he’s already been called to University Hospital for disaster code,” Deanna said.

“Then it’s up to us,” Cheyenne said. “Get me a thoracotomy tray.”

Jim looked at her in surprise. “Cheyenne, are you sure about this?”

“Push the epinephrine, Ardis,” Cheyenne said, ignoring him. The thought of opening Susan’s chest and massaging her heart was unthinkable. But it was her sister’s only chance.

“Ardis! Epi. Now.”

“Dr. Allison,” Jim said.

“I’ve got to try it,” she said softly. “This is my sister.”

He gave a shocked, “Oh, dear God no,” then, “Rick, take over back here.” Jim came around the bed to Cheyenne, placed a hand on each shoulder and tried to draw her away from the bed.

She resisted. “I’m still the doctor in charge, Jim. You can’t take me off this case.”

“I’m your director, Cheyenne, and your friend. Listen to me for a moment.”

She looked up at him. “Did you hear me? It’s my sister!”

“I know, but what if it weren’t? What would you do?”

She turned again to Susan’s side.

“She’s a blunt trauma victim, right?”

“That’s right, Dr. Brillhart,” said the paramedic.

“Pulseless for more than twenty minutes?”

“Twenty-five,” Rick said.

“Cheyenne,” Jim said gently. “You need to let her go.”

“I can’t do that. Ardis, push the epinephrine again.”

“You’ve done all you can,” Jim said.

No! I’m still in charge! “I haven’t called this code yet.”

“Cheyenne.” Jim leaned closer. He placed a hand over hers.

She jerked away. “Ardis, why are you waiting? Push the epi! Any word on the second blood gas?”

“Dr. Allison,” Jim said, this time with authority. “You have to call it. She’s gone. She wouldn’t want to come back, even if she could. There’s too much damage.”

Cheyenne felt the dizziness strike once more with blinding swiftness. She couldn’t bear it.

“I can’t call it,” she whispered.

“I’ll do it, then,” Jim said.

“No!”

Silence descended except for the sounds of the monitor, Rick’s labored breathing and the efforts that kept this hopelessly damaged body functioning.

Let her go? She’s already gone.

Cheyenne looked at her watch, then reached for Susan’s hand, covered in blood.

Everyone waited.

I’m so sorry, my baby sister.

“Time of…” Cheyenne swallowed, took a breath of air, which was strong with the scent of blood. “Time of…death, 18:14.”

Rick stopped compressions. The respiratory tech stopped bagging. Ardis set her equipment down and rushed around the bed to Cheyenne’s side.

As Cheyenne felt herself falling, felt hands catching her, she willed herself to descend into death with her sister.

Chapter Four

Dane found Cook in the pantry, sorting through institutional cans of tomato soup.

“Barbecue tonight?” he asked the bony old ranch hand.

“If I can find the molasses,” Cook said over his shoulder.

“If we’re out, I’ll make a run to town.” The boys loved that recipe. “Cook, did Blaze get into the medicine chest?”

The older man turned and frowned at him. “Why would he do that?”

“He had an injury out in the barn lot. Gordy got after us.”

“That blamed ol’ cow’s going to get somebody kilt someday. Since when did you start calling him Blaze?”

Oops. “Since three seconds ago. I’d better go see about him.”

Dane took the stairs and saw a spot of blood on the railing. He went to the closed door of the bedroom Gavin and Willy shared. When he pushed it open he saw Gavin in the center of the room, holding the end of a syringe against the bare flesh of his stomach.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m a bleeder.” The boy wiped a smudge of blood from his arm.

“What’s in the syringe?”

“A coagulant to stop the flow.” He rewrapped the syringe and set it on the top of his dresser.

“Nobody told me,” Dane said.

“Not a lot of people know.”

“How could you keep something like that a secret?”

“You don’t believe me?” Again, that expression of irritable impatience, thick brows lowered over eyes narrowed with disappointment.

“I didn’t say that.”

Gavin sat on the chest in front of the window that overlooked the barn. “About two years ago my old doctor died, and nobody took his place. The guy was in his eighties, only had a few patients. My prescription for this stuff’s always refillable, so I didn’t go to a new doc for a while. When I did, he never said anything about sending him my old records. I guess they kind of got lost.”

“That’s dangerous, Blaze. You need to take responsibility for your own health care now. What would happen if you ran out—”

“What’d you call me?”

Oh, no. He’d done it again.

“You called me Blaze.”

“Happy birthday. Why didn’t your mother tell the social worker about your condition?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“I can’t believe she wouldn’t—”

“There you go again.” Blaze shook his head and gestured toward the bed. “You want to sit down and let me tell you a few facts of life?”

“I want to know where Clint can get a copy of your medical records.”

Blaze unwrapped a paper towel from around his wrist. “See? The stuff’s already working. No big deal.”

“It’s a big deal when we don’t know—”

“Thing is, I didn’t figure they’d let me come to the ranch if they knew I was a bleeder. You know, working with the animals can be a little tricky sometimes. But I’ve got this—” his voice wavered “—this need to be around….” He swallowed and studied the wound on his wrist.

“It’s okay,” Dane said. “I think I understand. You probably worked with your father a lot in his practice.”

“All the time.”

“You lived in Rolla?”

“Edge of town. Saw my mother maybe three times after the divorce was final, and maybe six times before that. Until Dad died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“About what? That my own mother doesn’t want me? Not your fault. You ever put any ice on that thigh?”

“I will.”

“Sure. You gonna kick me out?”

“You got any other secrets you need to tell me?”

“I’m not an arsonist.”

“That’s no secret.”

“I don’t think I’ll make it at school.”

Dane eased himself onto the bed at last, groaning at the increased soreness of his leg. “Why not?”

“Don’t read too well.”

“You need glasses?”

“I’ve got good vision, I just can’t catch on to reading.”

“Maybe I can help you.”

“How’re you going to do that?”

“Has anybody ever suggested you might have a learning disability?”

“All my life.”

“Your father could have helped you—”

“Don’t you say anything about my father,” Blaze snapped. “He got dumped by the same woman who dumped me. He did the best he could, but he was busy.”

“Maybe you need to learn a different way to process information.”

“I process just fine—I just can’t read the letters.”

“Backward? Maybe if we played with that a little.”

“Maybe you should just use me here on the ranch to take care of the animals. Maybe that’s all I need to do. I could just be a ranch hand here on the place.”

“I didn’t bring you here to work. I brought you here to take care of you. That means you get an education.”

Blaze hooked his thumbs into his belt loops. “I’d like to see you try.”

“You’d better believe I will.”

Hothouse flowers saturated the atmosphere, nauseating Cheyenne as she slid into the pew beside her mother. Organ music threaded through the gloom of the church, trickling over her like black oil, punctuated by her mother’s quiet sobs. She felt oppressed by the crowd in this auditorium, though she knew the outpouring of kindness by so many should give her comfort.

But nothing could give her comfort. Some evil entity had gut-kicked her, and it amazed her that she was still breathing.

Kirk sat across the auditorium, wiping his face with a white handkerchief. In a haze of pain this past weekend, Cheyenne had tried twice to contact him. No response. Her parents had called his number three times yesterday. No answer. No matter what had transpired before now, he must be hurting horribly.

Cheyenne’s fingernails sank into the flesh of her hand. Could he be hurting worse than she was? She had lived with the nightmare of seeing her beloved baby sister—her only sibling—wheeled into the ER mangled and bloody. She had plunged her hands into the blood, had fought desperately for Susan’s life. She had lost.

If not for the overwhelming support of extended family—aunts, uncles, cousins—Cheyenne wouldn’t be able to handle this day, or her parents’ grief. Or her own.

Mom hadn’t stopped crying since she and Dad arrived yesterday. Dad looked closer to seventy than fifty-six.

A young minister sat on the stage behind the podium, fidgeting with his tie.

Someone touched Cheyenne on the shoulder. She looked up to see Ardis Dunaway standing in the aisle, her dark eyes peering through bifocals with deep compassion.

“How’re you holding up, hon?”

Cheyenne nodded. She still wanted to die. “I don’t know how to thank you for all you’ve done to help these past few days.”

“Don’t you even worry about that.”

Not only had this dear friend taken care of her when she collapsed the day of Susan’s death, but Ardis and Jim had been the ones to call Kirk in and tell him about Susan—a task Cheyenne would traditionally have undertaken.

Ardis leaned closer. “Have you spoken to Kirk at all?”

“He won’t communicate.”

“And so we still don’t know why she was driving under the influence—”

“Please.” Cheyenne felt the stab of fresh pain. “Does it matter, anyway? She’s dead, and no amount of fact finding will bring her back. The wreck wasn’t her fault, according to the police report. That’s all I need to—”

“I’m sorry, honey, of course you’re right.” Ardis squeezed her shoulder, then indicated the crowded church. “Look, I know you don’t believe in all this, but I hope it comforts you to know that Susan was very well loved.”

“My sister found…comfort here, apparently,” Cheyenne said.

“She’s receiving more comfort now than she ever received here on earth.”

Cheyenne nodded, too overwhelmed to argue. She respected Ardis’s faith even though she didn’t share it.

Ardis squeezed Cheyenne’s shoulder and returned to her seat several rows back.

The organ music drifted to silence. The deep baritone voice of a soloist echoed through the auditorium—waxing poetic about gardens and dew and talking with the Son of God.

Cheyenne focused her attention on the closed casket and the picture of her laughing sister, whose life hadn’t been lived long enough for her to ever be complete.

At the cemetery, the funeral director escorted Cheyenne beneath the canopy to the seat next to her brother-in-law.

He edged away from her, his firm features set.

She endured the minister’s attempt at consolation as he eulogized her sister.

He meant well, but he didn’t know Susan the way she did.

She took her mother’s hand and held tight, forcing away the memories of Friday. Almost every night, she dreamed of the blood. She dreamed of Susan’s battered body. She relived that horrible time over and over in her head.

The pastor finished his eulogy and said a prayer, then reached for Kirk’s hand. “She was a precious soul,” he said softly. “We’ll miss her so much, but I know it’ll be nothing compared to what you’re going through.”

Kirk’s tears looked real, the pain on his face unrehearsed. It reflected Cheyenne’s own loss.

For one unguarded moment, she felt the kinship. As the pastor stepped away, Cheyenne touched Kirk’s arm. “We’re both going to miss her,” she whispered.

He jerked away, turning on her with the swiftness of a striking snake. “How are you going to live with yourself, knowing you killed your own sister?”

The viciousness of his words, his voice, sent a sting of shock through her. “How can you say that? I did everything I could to—”

“Save it for the jury.” He turned his broad back to her and stood.

Cheyenne stood at the foot of the casket, barely heeding the voices that surrounded her as she watched Kirk shaking the hand of the funeral director. He waved and nodded to others, like a gracious party host.

He looked aside and caught her watching him. His expression hardened.

She stepped backward and stumbled.

“Cheyenne? Are you okay?” Uncle Chester caught her by the elbow.

She felt a wash of dizziness. “I’m not sure.”

Mom rushed to her side. “Chey? What’s wrong? Are you sick again?”

“No, I…I’ll be okay.” How could he blame her? She’d done all she could do. She would gladly die herself, if only it would bring Susan back.

But nothing would bring Susan back—and Cheyenne didn’t know how she’d be able to bear it.