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CHAPTER SEVEN

AN EVENING with Alex.

Dinner at the elegant resort restaurant—the Rainforest Retreat—a vast conservatory that blended into the rainforest behind the hotel. With huge indoor palms and ferns blurring the transition even further.

Dancing.

And Alex had said Stella intended staying in the camp with her friends. Why would he have told her that unless it was an invitation to spend the whole night with him?

‘It sounds wonderful,’ was all she’d said.

Could he have guessed what a mastery of understatement her response had been? Anticipation was an astonishingly powerful drug running through her veins now. Having a physio session to get through with Jack Havens before she could shower and change and indulge in the luxury of thinking of nothing but the evening ahead was doing little to dull the underlying thrill.

How could it, when Alex was in the same room, doing an examination on young Danny? The curtain between the beds was pulled but Susie could still hear the clear sound of Alex’s voice.

‘Wake up, Danny! Open your eyes for me.’

Susie kept her voice down so she wouldn’t be a distraction to the medical team on the other side of the curtain. ‘You can turn on your side now, Jack.’ She bent to pick up one of the large, extra pillows she had brought with her. She could see Alex’s feet. They weren’t the only set of feet around Danny’s bed and it wasn’t unusual to see a doctor wearing sandal-type footwear, but those were Alex’s feet.

Bare toes. Impossible not to remember the sight of him discarding his clothes last night—the hard, lean lines of his naked body illuminated by the soft light of the moon coming through the unshuttered glass wall of the penthouse suite. Maybe it wouldn’t be quite so overwhelming tonight. She could take the time to savour what she saw. Tease them both by helping him undress…slowly…

Susie shut her eyes for a second, clutching the big, soft pillow in her arms.

‘Bright light, Danny,’ she heard Alex say. ‘Keep your eyes open and look at my nose.’

‘It hurts…’ Danny’s voice was uncharacteristically pathetic, but at least he was talking now.

‘What hurts, buddy? Your eyes?’

‘No. My head.’

‘Whereabouts? Can you show me?’

‘No. Can’t. It’s inside.’

‘All over inside, or just in one place?’ Susie could hear the smile in Alex’s voice and it made her own lips curve as she tucked the pillow behind Jack.

‘All over.’ Poor Danny sounded miserable.

‘OK,’ Susie whispered to Jack. ‘Turn back over now, sweetheart.’

Jack flopped, ending up at a forty-five-degree angle because of the cushioning. Automatically, he lifted his arm on that side and tucked it over his head, well used to the position that gave his therapist good access to the middle lobe of his left lung. She cupped her hands, conforming the shape to match the chest wall and trapping a cushion of air to soften the impact as she began the rhythmic percussion.

‘Squeeze my hands, Danny,’ Alex said behind her. ‘Good boy. And this hand?’

‘Danny had a fit,’ Jack told Susie.

‘I know. I was there. He’s not very well, poor wee guy.’

‘He’s been really sleepy since he came in here. I heard the nurse talking to one of the doctors. They think there’s something wrong with his head.’

‘Just let your leg go floppy,’ Danny was being instructed. ‘I’m going to tap it with my special hammer. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt.’

Susie stopped the percussion and flattened her hand to shake the lung segment and try to encourage the movement of mucus.

‘Big, deep breath,’ she instructed.

The action started him coughing and Susie waited until he had finished.

‘Excellent! You’re doing really well, Jack. Do you remember what the next position is?’

‘Pillow between my legs and I put my arm down.’

‘Cool. Let’s go.’ Susie moved the pillow. ‘You’re sounding a lot better.’

‘My temperature’s down. I’m going to be allowed to go back to camp.’

‘That’s great. Did they say when?’

‘Tomorrow.’ Jack twisted to look up at Susie hopefully. ‘They might let me go back tonight if you said it was OK. They’re having a movie.’

‘It would be fine by me. As long as you take things quietly. You might not be able to run around too much for a day or two.’

‘I don’t mind. I’d like to see the movie, though. It’s been really boring in here. I thought I could play with Danny but he’s just sleeping all the time.’

‘He’s sick.’ Susie started percussion on the lower lobes of Jack’s lung, staying quiet to try and hear what Alex was saying to his medical colleagues. Was it unprofessional and selfish to hope the little boy would be well enough to give them an uninterrupted evening? She may not know Alex very well but Susie was quite confident that personal pleasure would be postponed if he was needed by one of his patients, even out of hours.

‘Where are those baseline recordings we did?’

‘Here.’ There was rustle of paperwork and a moment’s silence as Alex scanned the information again. ‘I’d like another full set,’ he said. ‘Including a head circumference. I’m not happy with this blood pressure, either.’ He had moved to the foot of the bed and his voice was lowered. Danny was quiet. Had he fallen asleep again?

‘Systolic pressure’s stable enough.’ It wasn’t really a surprise that Charles hadn’t been content to leave Alex with nursing staff to share the consultation. Did anything happen in his domain that he didn’t involve himself with?

‘Yes, but the diastolic pressure’s dropped. Widening pulse pressure could be sign of rising ICP. It needs watching. I’d like thirty-minute recordings. Have we got a cardiac monitor available?’

‘Yes.’

‘Pulse oximetry and automatic BP?’

‘Of course.’

Alex still didn’t sound happy. ‘GCS is down at least a point. He’s still drowsier than I’d expect. He hasn’t had another seizure since being admitted, has he?’

‘No.’

‘Has someone been with him all the time?’

‘Not every minute. We’ve been flat out with another three admissions. We’re calling in extra staff but until now we’ve been run off our feet.’

‘I want someone with Danny at all times,’ Alex decreed. ‘It’s possible he’s had another seizure that was short-lived enough to go unnoticed.’

‘Jack’s been here.’ That was Marcia’s voice.

The curtain was twitched back. For a split second Alex caught Susie’s gaze and his look of intent focus softened. Susie’s hands stilled as she felt the delicious tingle of being noticed.

Acknowledged.

‘Hey, Jack?’ Alex tilted his head, his attention on the boy now lying on his stomach with the pillow under one side. ‘I’m Dr Vavunis. You haven’t noticed Danny doing anything strange, have you?’

‘He’s just been asleep.’

‘Not twitching or making funny noises?’

‘You mean, like having a fit?’

‘A seizure. Yes.’

‘Nah.’ Jack shook his head, caught his breath and then started coughing, which ended the exchange. Alex turned back and Susie held Jack’s ribs to support him because he was beginning to sound tired.

‘We’re almost done,’ she encouraged. ‘You’ll feel a lot better when we’ve got your chest clear.’

Alex was almost done, too, it seemed.

‘It would be good if we can get Danny’s temperature down a bit further,’ he said to Marcia. ‘Tepid sponge bath, perhaps. And a fan. When’s the next dose of paracetamol due?’

‘Fifteen minutes.’

By the time Susie was moving Jack into his final position on his stomach with the pillow under his hips, Alex was leaving the room.

‘I want to be called if there’s any change,’ he said. ‘Marcia? If you’re monitoring him, I’d like a full GCS check with the vital-sign recordings.’

‘You mean, wake him up and talk to him?’

‘Yes. I need to know if his level of responsiveness drops any further. At least ensure that he’s easy to rouse.’

It was torture.

Exquisite but almost unbearable.

If anticipation was a drug, Susie was in danger of falling victim to an overdose.

Could Alex not feel it? Or was he enjoying this? Doing it deliberately, in fact? Drawing out this public part of their evening together as a kind of foreplay?

The way he was looking at her certainly seemed deliberate. Susie couldn’t hold that gaze for more than a few heartbeats at a time. It was so…intense.

‘Interested’ was too pale a word for it. He seemed fascinated. Smitten even?

Wishful thinking, perhaps, but it would be far too easy to fall into that dark gaze. To lose herself and any control over what she might say. And that would be dangerous. Susie didn’t want to change the way Alex was looking at her. How awful would it be to see a hint of alarm or a cloud of doubt dulling that fierce approval? Or, worse, a gaze that slid over her shoulder to scan other women in the room.

There were plenty of them. The resort was full to capacity thanks to the quarantine trapping the guests. Many of the people using the restaurant were dressed up for the occasion and Susie was sure she was the only one wearing the same outfit as she had the night before. She hadn’t expected to be going out on a date, though, had she?

And she could never have expected Alex. Not in this lifetime. He was too good to be true and that gave a sense of urgency to this dinner. Any moment now he would wake up and realise how beautiful the other women in here were and wonder what on earth he was doing, sitting here so intent on Susie Jackson.

Or his phone would ring and he’d be called back to see Danny or some other patient. He’d work all night and by morning daylight would make him see clearly and realise that Susie wasn’t this special.

His touch contradicted her fears. Even more deliberate than his gaze, the way he rested a forefinger lightly beside her elbow and then traced the curve of the muscle all the way to the pulse at her wrist. A pulse that had to be telling him just how arousing his touch was, which made it even harder to hold his gaze. Susie had to use her tongue to dampen suddenly dry lips and she saw her own flare of desire mirrored in those dark eyes.

Yet he still appeared to be in no hurry to finish the meal. He picked up his fork again, speared an asparagus tip then added a shred of the braised lamb shank beside it, put it in his mouth and chewed carefully, his gaze barely leaving Susie’s face.

Her own fork felt as if it was made of lead and her appetite was waning rapidly. For food, at any rate.

‘So…’ Alex swallowed, put down his cutlery and reached for his glass of red wine. ‘You know about my early love life. Tell me about yours.’

Susie opened her mouth to protest that she didn’t know very much. He had married the girl next door— the love of his life. A marriage marred by tragedy. OK, maybe that was enough. Knowing more might be too scary.

‘Did you start early?’ Alex prompted. ‘Like my Stella seems to be doing?’

‘I got interested,’ Susie admitted, ‘but there were… ah…technical difficulties.’

Alex looked startled. ‘Sorry?’

‘I had a clone,’ Susie explained. ‘Still do, actually.’ She had to take pity on Alex’s deepening expression of bewilderment. ‘I have an identical twin sister. Hannah. Boys were either scared of us because they thought we were playing tricks on them or they went too far the other way and thought they could get both of us—at the same time.’

‘Oh…’ The slow smile of comprehension was gorgeous. Susie watched his lips curve and wanted to lean over the small table and kiss him. ‘Two of you,’ he murmured. The smile widened. ‘Yes, I can understand the attraction.’

‘We’re only alike to look at,’ Susie added firmly. ‘Quite different in other ways. Hannah’s the assertive one. She’s a kick-ass A and E specialist who works in a big city hospital in New Zealand. She recently married another ED doctor and…and she’s just found out she’d expecting her first baby.’

Oh, Lord, how had that slipped out? And with that edge of wistfulness that Alex surely couldn’t miss. Good grief—how to scare a man off in one easy move.

‘So I’m going to be an aunt,’ she finished—hopefully brightly. ‘It’s very exciting.’

‘Hmm.’ Alex was loading his fork again. Cutting his food with a precision that reminded Susie what he did for a living. Reminded her also of how skilful those long fingers were in other, more personal arenas. Hurriedly, she dropped her gaze to her own plate and stirred the wild mushroom risotto she had chosen for a main course.

Change the subject, she ordered herself sternly. Fast!

‘You would have been proud of Stella today.’ Good choice of topic, Susie congratulated herself. Appropriate and distracting.

‘I’m always proud of Stella.’

‘She was wonderful with the children in Benita’s group. She knew quite a lot about rainforest frogs and she’s a natural teacher.’

‘Is that so?’ She had definitely caught his interest. ‘Yes. Even when she was really sick in hospital, she took an interest in the younger children. It’s a shame she never had any siblings.’

Susie was grateful she had a mouthful of risotto that precluded a response. Was Alex suggesting he might want more children in the future?

‘Teaching wouldn’t be a bad career for her if that’s something she wants to do,’ Alex said. ‘Challenging but not necessarily too physically demanding.’

‘I don’t think anything is going to hold Stella back. She had a major hurdle to get over in accepting her prosthesis, but I think she’ll go from strength to strength now.’

‘Thanks to you.’ Alex discarded his fork and caught Susie’s hand, covering it with both of his. ‘I am very, very grateful for what you’ve done for my daughter.’

‘It’s been a pleasure.’ Susie loved the feeling of her hand being enclosed like this. It felt safe. Protected. A miniature version of what it would feel like to have her whole body held in Alex’s arms.

She wanted to be held. So much.

‘You’re very fond of Stella, aren’t you?’ Alex seemed to be watching her carefully.

It rang a warning bell. What was the real question being asked? Whether she could see herself being Stella’s stepmother? Surely not. Scared of reading too much into the query, Susie simply nodded in response. And smiled.

‘And you’re going to become an aunt.’ Alex let go of her hand to return his attention to his dinner. ‘Do you see yourself having your own children one day?’

Oh, help! The was getting heavy. A question as loaded as a shotgun. Susie tried to remember how he’d worded his comment about siblings for Stella. He’d used the past tense, hadn’t he? That meant he wasn’t considering the possibility.

‘I love kids,’ she said cautiously. ‘And, yes, I guess I did always see myself being a mother, but…’

‘But?’ Had Alex noted the way she had also used the past tense?

‘It would depend,’ Susie floundered. Somehow she had to avoid slamming doors. She also had to avoid putting Alex under unreasonable pressure by hinting how strong her feelings were. He couldn’t possibly share them. It was too soon. Too much the stuff of fairy tales.

He wasn’t going to let her off the hook, however. ‘On what?’ he asked.

‘On the partnership I was in.’ Susie abandoned her food in favour of her wine. She also gave up any mental gymnastics. This was important and she couldn’t be less than truthful.

‘I’m thirty-three,’ she said bluntly. ‘It’s quite possible that someone I meet will already have children and not want any more. Yes, I’d be sad not to have a child of my own, but if I meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not going to let that get in the way. It’s the partnership that’s the most important.’

Strangely, Susie was finding it easy to hold Alex’s gaze as she spoke words that came straight from her heart. ‘It’s the feeling of never being alone,’ she said softly. ‘Even if you’re miles apart. Knowing that someone is there for you, no matter what.’

‘Trust.’ Alex nodded. ‘Two halves of a whole.’

‘Yes.’ Susie still hadn’t looked away. Hadn’t even blinked. ‘And finding that is like the end of the rainbow. Anything else…everything else…has to be negotiable.’ She smiled, hoping to lighten the odd intensity surrounding them. ‘Whew! Does that answer your question?’

‘Indeed.’ But Alex wasn’t smiling. He was looking very serious. Digesting what she had said? Planning an early escape from a crazy woman who was planning to snare some poor man for a lifetime?

The waiter’s approach to their table was well timed. ‘Would Sir and Madam like to see the dessert menu?’

‘Would we?’ Alex raised an eyebrow at his companion and Susie had to lick her lips again and reach for her wineglass. Her whole mouth felt dry now.

Alex cleared his throat. ‘I think,’ he told the waiter, ‘that we might avail ourselves of room service if we require dessert.’

‘Very good.’ The waiter took their plates and moved away smoothly.

‘Is it?’ Alex stood up, dropping his linen napkin onto the table and extending a hand to Susie. ‘Very good, that is?’

‘Oh…yes.’ Susie put her hand into his. She had been looking forward to dancing with Alex again tonight but, finally, he seemed to have caught the urgency she had been aware of all evening.

And it was, indeed, very good.

They left the restaurant in almost unseemly haste. Hand in hand. Susie was only vaguely distracted by Sophia Poulos’s open-mouthed delight as she spotted them in the foyer.

The lift was, satisfyingly, instantly available but they had to share it with another couple. The grip on Susie’s hand tightened until it was almost painful, but Susie made no complaint. When the strangers got out, they waited, unmoving until they reached the top floor. Then Alex pulled her from the lift, somehow opened the door of the suite and then Susie found herself with her back to the wall, grateful for its support under the onslaught of Alex’s kiss.

But then—disturbingly—the urgency was flicked off like a switch. Alex broke the kiss, moved his hands away from Susie’s hips and placed them on the wall on either side of her head. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and his gaze seemed fastened on where Susie could feel her pulse hammering on the side of her neck.

‘Tonight,’ he said softly, ‘we take our time.’

It was as though they had agreed on a destination last night and located the maps and the most direct route. Tonight was about exploring detours. Finding every delight that might otherwise have been hidden. Knowing where they would end up but making the most of the journey.

Potential interruptions from a phone call were forgotten.

The idea that she might not be special enough had been long since vanquished for Susie.

She had never felt so desirable.

So…worshipped.

‘You’re beautiful,’ Alex told her more than once as he moved to caress and kiss a new patch of her skin. ‘So beautiful.’

And Alex was…

Alex.

Perfect.

Susie learned the pattern of the dark hair that was a butterfly shape on his chest. She traced it with her tongue, revelling in the hard pebbles of his nipples and way his skin became so soft as the hair trailed off. The sound of raw need being heightened when she took him in her mouth and the way he breathed her name so much later in the moment of ultimate release.

Tonight they slept. Locked together with Alex’s arm cradling Susie. Her head on his chest, one leg curled over his. When she woke, a little before dawn, she watched him sleeping and waited for the moment when his eyes would open and he would see her. Expecting to see the truth in his eyes.

She didn’t have to wait long. Alex took a deeper breath and stirred. Then long, dark lashes lifted and his eyes opened. For a split second he looked startled but then Susie saw something melt in those dark eyes. A liquid warmth was released that enfolded her even before his hands reached to touch her.

He was smiling but Susie couldn’t return it. Emotion threatened to overwhelm her and she had to remain still and blink back the prickle of tears. All she could do was welcome Alex with everything she had to offer.

Her body and mind.

Her heart and soul.

She saw them coming along the beach.

Holding hands.

They probably thought it was too early for anyone to notice them. Or maybe they didn’t care. They looked like nobody else in the world was important. Only them.

They were only small, distant figures in the shadowy, early light so Stella turned her gaze back to what she was supposed to be watching. From her vantage point under the tree, she could see the main camp buildings, as well as the beach. She’d got up really early, leaving the bunk- room she had shared with three other girls last night. The objective had been to watch one of the other bunkrooms. To wait until Jamie had gone in for breakfast. Then Stella was going to walk in. Without her crutches.

Jamie would notice. Like her dad had yesterday. He would watch her with that look. The one that told her how amazing she was.

Stella wanted Jamie to think she was amazing. He did already, kind of, or he wouldn’t have held her hand during the movie last night. Not when he didn’t need to, to help her walk or anything.

It had been really hard to get to sleep after that. Not because the movie had been scary but Stella couldn’t stop thinking about how it had made her feel, having Jamie holding her hand like that. It was the most incredible feeling ever. Warm and tingly but so exciting.

What would being kissed be like?

Stella touched her lips with her fingers, the way she had in the dark, private space of that bed in the bunk- room. Aware of her lack of privacy now, Stella shifted her gaze quickly, but there was still no one else about. Just that couple on the beach.

They had stopped walking. They were locked in a passionate embrace. Doing the kind of kissing Stella’s imagination had been playing with.

Weird. Like she had sent a message telepathically or something.

A twist of emotions Stella couldn’t identify properly jumbled for dominance. Envy of people grown up enough to be doing that stuff? Fear of taking that big a step towards being that grown up? Sadness, even, knowing that being a little kid was going to be lost for ever.

The figures started walking again, this time with their arms around each other. They were getting close enough to see how tall the man was. The shine of blonde hair on the woman. The familiarity…

Oh, my God!

Stella’s mouth dropped open and any thought of watching the first arrivals at the dining hall was forgotten.

That was her dad!

And…and…Susie!

He’d taken her to dinner. He was coming along the beach right from the end. He must have spent the whole night with her.

‘No!’

Stella startled herself by saying the word aloud. She gulped in a big breath. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Susie or anything, but this wasn’t supposed to be happening.

Not now. Not when her dad actually had time to notice her for once. When he was so proud of her.

It was too late for this. Stella was over that kid thing of desperately wanting a mother. She and her dad didn’t need anyone else in their lives. He’d told her that when Greta had left.

He’d told her that it hadn’t been her fault because she’d got sick. That it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. That she—Stella—was the most important woman in his life, and always would be.

Through narrowed eyes Stella watched the couple turn towards a track that led away from the beach. Susie would probably go to the dining hall and that tarnished the attraction of having breakfast with Jamie.

Her dad would go to their cabin. He’d probably pretend he’d been there all night. That nothing with the potential to change their lives was happening.

Stella reached for her crutches and jabbed her hands through the loops to grip the handles. No way she was going to walk without them this time. She needed to move faster than that.

She needed to find out just what the hell was going on.

And what she was going to do about it.