Цитаты из книги «Я, Эрл и умирающая девушка», страница 3

We figured it would take about an afternoon. Instead, it took three months, and when I say “it,” I mean, “re-creating the first ten minutes and then giving up.” Like Werner Herzog in the South American jungle, we faced almost unimaginable setbacks and difficulties. We kept taping over our own footage, or not hitting record, or running out of camera battery. We didn’t really know how the lighting or sound was supposed to work. Some of the cast members—mostly Gretchen—proved incapable of delivering their lines properly, or staying in character, or not picking their nose. Also, we usually had a cast of just three people, or two if someone needed to hold the camera. The location we used was Frick Park, and joggers and dog walkers kept entering the shot, and then they would make things even worse by trying to start a conversation.

Q: Are you guys shooting a movie?

A: No. We’re opening a mid-priced Italian restaurant.

Q: Huh?

A: Yes of course we’re shooting a movie.

Q: What’s the movie about?

A: It’s a documentary about human stupidity.

Q: Can I be in your movie?

A: We’d be stupid not to put you in it.

We didn’t know the specifics; we knew only that the specifics were boring.

Папа то и дело швырялся словами "тяжелая утрата"; мне при этом все время представлялась горя, оброненная на ногу.

Теория: людей всегда заводит, когда непривлекательная девушка начинает встречаться с непривлекательным парнем.

Короче, можно быть гетеросексуалом или гомосексуалом, это я понимаю: типа, ты женщина в теле мужчины или как-то так, блин, но я все думаю: как это, е-мое, можно быть бисексуалом? Чуваки, я не могу – у меня стоит на эту девчонку с тугой попкой. Ой, погодите, я ошибся: на самом деле у меня стоит на того парня. Это не имеет никакого не гребаного смысла.

Учителя все наперебой заливали, каким трудным будет последний класс, но к концу школы ты понимаешь, что они говорят так каждый год, и всегда лгут.

Что я точно знаю про людей – хочешь им понравиться, заткнись, и пусть говорят они. Все любят говорить о себе – не только счастливые дети с благополучной биографией.

Вдалеке слышались глухие раскаты надвигающегося бешенства.

Earl

• sup, ike

• i talked to some a your teachers

• you gotta write an essay or some shit

• you gotta do a list of problems outta some book

• ms. harrad says don’t worry about the test friday, you and her gonna talk about it when you get back, also she hope you get better

• mr. cubaly want you to do some test while you in here but i got no idea how that suppose to happen so my advice is don’t worry about it

• you got mulholland drive in the mail from netflix so i watched it

• that shit is fucked the fuck up, no joke

• we gotta watch it once you get out of here

• that shit is crazy as hell

• lesbians and shit

• look at you

• you gonna be a weak little bitch when you get outta here

• you just lying in bed all damn day

• what else, what else

• oh i went to see your girl again

• she got a bald-ass head right now

• she look like darth vader without the helmet

• chemo is no joke, son

• she axed me for some of our films last time so i lent em to her

• i dunno which ones, i gave her like ten of em

• whoa

• what the hell are you yelling about?

• are you being serious right now? are you being serious with me right now?

• you need to calm your ass down

• you need to be toning this shit down right about now

• man, that girl has a damn bag full of chemicals in her body right now, she need something to cheer her the hell up, she happy as hell about these films

• i mean no she is not happy as hell but she was smiling and shit and that’s a major improvement so don’t be trying to bitch me out about this

• yeah, that’s right, tone it down

• the fuck you think i’m gonna say no to this girl be dying out of cancer and shit.

• damn

• this is what papa gaines would call an “extenuating circumstance,” am i right

• goddamn

• look

• you’re being dumb as hell but i do feel you

• you know i don’t like to show this shit to no one

• but you can’t say no to this girl

• i do feel you, but it’s like, i dunno, you do not understand how much she like our dumbass films, but she like the hell out of em

• so don’t give me shit