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Praise for Alison Roberts:

‘Written with plenty of warmth and heart, TWINS FOR CHRISTMAS is bound to touch the heart of every single reader!’

—cataromance.com

The Baby Gift

Two beautiful linked stories

Wishing for A Miracle

and

The Marry-Me Wish

by

Alison Roberts

www.millsandboon.co.uk

About the Author

ALISON ROBERTS lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. She began her working career as a primary school teacher, but now juggles available working hours between writing and active duty as an ambulance officer. Throwing in a large dose of parenting, housework, gardening and pet-minding keeps life busy, and teenage daughter Becky is responsible for an increasing number of days spent on equestrian pursuits. Finding time for everything can be a challenge, but the rewards make the effort more than worthwhile.

Recent titles by the same author:

NURSE, NANNY…BRIDE!

HOT-SHOT SURGEON, CINDERELLA BRIDE

THE ITALIAN SURGEON’S CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

MILLS & BOON

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THE BABY GIFT

A gift so special it’s priceless

Dear Reader

I’m not lucky enough to have a sister, but I do have an amazing daughter and many truly wonderful friends, so I’m well aware of what an astonishingly powerful thing the bond between women can be.

Friends, mothers and daughters…sisters. I started thinking about the kind of bond that might be created if it encompassed all of these possibilities. Could it be enough to overcome obstacles that seem impossible?

Neither Julia nor Anne Bennett envisages a future that involves children. Their reasons might be different, but the effect their convictions have on their relationships has the potential to be disastrous.

But Jules and Annie are more than simply sisters, and their bond is such that they will go to extraordinary lengths to help each other.

As far, even, as carrying a child for the one who can’t.

That kind of bond is amazing all on its own, but I wanted to give these sisters even more. Men who love them for exactly who they are and futures that will allow all their dreams to come true.

Cherish the women in your life. The bond is magic.

With love

Alison

Wishing for A Miracle

by

Alison Roberts

‘No.’ He spoke softly now. ‘Don’t you see, Jules?’ The words were being forced out. He shouldn’t be saying them. But he could no more not say them than take in another breath. ‘It’s not that I have to protect you so much. It’s that I want to. Too much.’

Slowly, her gaze lifted. Caught his and held it.

Mac’s hands fisted by his sides as a defence against the urge to reach out and pull her into his arms. He tried to smile but could only manage a brief, one-sided twist of his mouth. ‘It’s a bit of a problem,’ he confessed. ‘It has been ever since that…kiss.’

Chapter One

THE train lay like a jagged open wound across the soft, misty Scottish landscape.

One carriage was still on the bridge, anchored by the tangled metal of broken overhead beams. The engine and two more carriages were in the gully, some thirty metres below, partially submerged by the small but fast-moving river. Another hung, suspended somehow by the mess of twisted steel on the bridge, a gigantic pendant that encased goodness knew how much human misery.

‘Target sighted.’

The quiet statement from the man staring down from beside the helicopter pilot was superfluous except that the inflection on the second word said it all. This wasn’t the usual kind of target they set out to locate. This was, quite probably, a once-in-a-career, major, multi-casualty incident.

This was…huge.

Julia’s determined intake of breath was clearly communicated via the equipment built into their helmets.

‘How ‘bout that, Jules?’ The rich, male voice of her partner filled her earphones again. ‘Not something you’d see every day back home, is it?’

She wouldn’t want to either but it was exactly what she’d come to the other side of the world in search of, wasn’t it? In a small country like New Zealand, the chance to be involved with a rescue mission of this size was highly unlikely. Working in the UK was all about getting the experience in case it did happen. Having the opportunities to hone the skills she knew she had.

She hadn’t anticipated this sudden rush of adrenaline, however. A sinking, almost sick-making dive occurring in her belly. Julia swallowed hard.

‘It’s what I signed up for,’ she said. ‘Bring it on!’

‘Hold your horses, lassie.’ It had been nearly three months since Julia had joined this new specialist emergency response team and the pilot, Joe, had learned to hide his vague incredulity that such a slender, feminine creature could be so keen to hurl herself into danger but there was still the suggestion in his tone that she had to be at least halfway crazy. ‘There’s a Medivac chopper taking off. We haven’t got clearance to land yet.’

‘And then we’ll have to check in with Scene Command,’ her partner reminded her. ‘See where we’re needed first.’ A hint of tolerance born of understanding crept into his voice. ‘Joe’s right. Hold those horses.’

The tolerance had been hard won but Alan MacCulloch was used to her enthusiasm by now. Appreciated it, even, now that he knew she wasn’t about to rush headlong into a scene and put them both in danger, and this had become a tradition. Julia was the feisty one, ready to leap in and do whatever needed to be done. Mac was the calm one. They both looked but Mac got to give the word before either of them leapt. It was one of the many things they had found that made them able to work so well together. Had forged them into a tight team in a surprisingly short space of time.

The scene commander wasted no time in briefing them. Dealing with the carriages that had crashed to ground level was under control.

‘Carriage 3…’ The scene commander looked up. ‘Still an unknown quantity for victim numbers and status. One bloke got the door open near the top and managed to climb out. He fell.’

Julia exchanged a glance with Mac. They both knew how unlikely it was that someone would have survived such a fall. The dangers inherent in this rescue were becoming very clear.

‘Someone else was spotted signalling for help,’ the scene commander continued. ‘Waving through a broken window at the bottom of the carriage, and cries were heard. More than one voice. We used megaphones from the bridge and the ground to order anyone else in the carriage to stay as still as possible while we tried to stablise things.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Nothing’s been seen or heard since.’

‘Needs triaging, then,’ Mac said calmly. ‘How stable is the bridge?’

‘Engineers reckon it’s safe at each end, which is where the cables have been anchored. For some reason there was a structural collapse towards the middle, which is what’s caused the incident. According to an eye witness who was driving on the road over there, carriage 3 was swinging violently when the first carriages broke free. Presumably it’s fairly well caught up to have stayed there but it’s anyone’s guess how long the connection’s going to last.’

‘Incident’ was such an insignificant title for this disaster. Julia sucked in a breath as she looked up again. The carriage had gone careening off the rails. There must have been one hell of a jolt and then it would have been swinging wildly. Passengers would have been hurled about like puppets and the potential for serious, if not fatal injuries was high.

Her gaze narrowed. The carriage had windows and a door at either end. The door at the top was still open, leaving a black hole that would be an easy entrance. She shifted her gaze back to the men beside her.

‘We can winch down from the bridge and have a look.’

There was a heartbeat’s silence after Julia had spoken. They all knew it was unlikely they would see as much as they needed to through the windows and impossible to assess the condition let alone treat victims, but if someone climbed inside it would mean disengaging from any safety of a winch line.

This was dangerous. Very dangerous. Weird that Julia’s nerves seemed to have vanished.

‘I can do that,’ she said.

Both men stared at her. Mac opened his mouth to say something but Julia was faster.

‘I’m half your weight,’ she said. ‘We don’t know how much movement those cables are going to cope with and it would be sensible to use whatever advantages we’ve got. The more gently we can test it, the safer we’re all going to be.’

‘We’ve got a crane on the way,’ the scene commander added. ‘The plan was to lower the carriage to ground level.’

‘How long will that take to get here?’

The man responsible for overseeing this enormous scene sighed. ‘At least three hours. Maybe longer.’

Too long for anyone struggling to survive in there. Way too long.

Mac’s eyes narrowed as he assessed the scene again. Then his gaze was on her and it was just as penetrating. Julia held the touch of those dark eyes with her own and waited. Patiently. She had learned that nothing else she said would make any difference now.

This was Mac’s call as the senior officer and she trusted his judgment.

The eye contact went on…and on. Long enough for it to have been unacceptable between people who didn’t know each other extremely well indeed. Long enough for it to be intimate but not uncomfortable because they both knew what this was about and it was purely professional.

OK, it was deeply personal as well, of course, because they relied on each other and this was about life-and-death decisions being made—for themselves and others—but they both knew where the boundaries lay and they’d never stepped close enough to even have to define those limits.

Questions were being asked and answered here.

‘Are you sure about this?’

‘Yes.’

‘You don’t have to.’

‘I know.’

‘This will be the toughest yet.’

‘I know that too. I can do this, Mac.’

‘I know you can.’

And, finally, there it was. Mac’s nod.

Slow but resolute. Permission had been granted.

She hadn’t expected him to agree so easily.

The flicker of surprise had been there in her eyes. Mac had registered gratitude, too, for the respect his decision encompassed. What he hadn’t seen, and which would have been entirely understandable, had been a hint of dismay that he wasn’t going to use his authority to stop her tackling this incredibly dangerous mission.

Julia Bennett was one astonishing woman.

Did they breed them all like this in that little country at the bottom of the world? Pint-sized Amazons with rapier-sharp brains and a courage too deep to measure?

No. Mac checked the buckles on Julia’s harness and tugged at the carabiner on the front one last time before moving to where he intended to operate the winch. This woman was a one-off. Totally unique. The first female to get through the rigorous selection process to gain access to this elite rescue squad, and he’d been lucky enough to be designated her partner.

Not that he’d felt like that first up, mind you. Neither had any of the guys on the other shifts. Mac had seen the relief in the glances exchanged at that team briefing so many weeks ago now. A foreigner was fine. They had people from all corners of the globe on staff. But a girl?

Not that a twenty-eight-year-old could be considered anything less than a woman but her lack of height made her seem much younger. It didn’t help that she had such a pretty, fragile kind of prettiness about her either. The spikes of that practical, pixie haircut did nothing to disguise her femininity and if the big, blue eyes that went with those blonde spikes could look like they did with no make-up, it was obvious that Jules could be a knock-out if she chose to be.

Nobody had expected to find that she considered herself ‘one of the boys’ and was possibly more passionate about this job than they were. She had earned respect remarkably quickly, thanks to an early job that had involved a large portion of the squad when the remains of an old building had collapsed on a demolition crew. Julia had been the only one small enough to squeeze through a gap and she’d hung, upside down, like a determined little bat, for long enough to establish an airway and gain IV access on a man who would certainly have died otherwise.

Respect had become admiration from more than one of the guys but the polite rebuff of any personal overtures had added another dimension to a personality that was intriguing. Any commiseration Mac had received on being partnered with ‘the chick’ had long since morphed into envy.

Yeah…he was lucky.

But here he was, letting this amazing woman step backwards off a broken bridge, his fingers on the controls that were now lowering her close to the dangling train carriage. If it fell, it would most likely take her with it and there would be nothing he could do but watch. The tension was growing by the second as the small figure in the orange overalls slipped lower.

‘Keep going.’ Julia’s voice sounded clear and calm inside his helmet. ‘Seats are clear at the top. I can’t see the bottom yet.’

He fed out the steel cable, inch by inch. He felt the jerk as Julia’s steel-capped boots touched the side of the carriage and then her gloved hands reached to steady herself and cut the light reflecting on one of the large glass panels.

‘Stop!’ The command was sharp. ‘I can see something.’

Chapter Two

FACES.

Terrified faces. A huddle of humanity in what had been one end of the carriage and was now a narrow base. It was too dark to see clearly. Now mid-afternoon on a typical, drizzly autumn day, natural light was fading fast but the light on Julia’s helmet could only go so far through the barrier of glass and deep shadow within. The first two rows of the seats now facing upwards had people on them and were much easier to see. The closest figure was lying slumped.

More people were huddled on the seats on the other side of the aisle.

How many were there?

How badly injured were they?

Julia could see them watching her. A woman on the far side, with a child clutched in her arms, was sobbing but the sound wasn’t reaching through the window that was still intact on this side. Or not through the padding inside her helmet and the background noise that included a helicopter hovering directly overhead.

Television crews, probably, capturing the unfolding drama of this rescue. The footage would make international news, that was for sure. Julia spared a fleeting thought for the relatives of everyone involved. Including hers. Thank goodness her sister Anne would be unable to recognise that it was her doing such a dangerous job.

‘Can you hear me?’ Julia shouted.

‘Ouch!’ came Mac’s voice.

‘Sorry.’ Julie lifted her microphone, tucking it under the rim of her helmet. She called again and a boy inside, who looked about fourteen, nodded warily.

‘How many of you are there?’ Julia called.

The boy’s eyes slid sideways but he didn’t move his head. He looked hunched. Terrified of moving, probably, in case it was enough to send the carriage plummeting to the bottom of the gully. He shrugged helplessly and then winced and Julia could see the way he was cradling one arm with the other. A fracture? Dislocated shoulder?

The woman who had been sobbing in the seat across the aisle tried to get closer, the child still in her arms. She was blocked by the still shape of the slumped man.

‘Help!’ she screamed. ‘Please…help us!’

Her words were clearly audible. So was the panicked response from others still in there, telling her to stay still, prompted by the sway of the carriage her movement had caused. Julia’s hands were still against the window and she simply moved with it, gently swinging out and then back. Not far at all but more than enough for her heart to skip a beat and for a soft curse from Mac to echo in her earphones.

Julia flipped down the small arm of her microphone. ‘Pull me up to the door, Mac. I need to get inside.’

‘No way!’

‘Can’t triage from here. I can see at least six people and some look OK to evacuate fast.’

‘Get them to climb up and we’ll winch from the door.’

Julia frowned. The woman was close to hysterical and wasn’t about to let go of the child. The teenage boy had an injured arm or shoulder.

‘Not practical,’ she informed Mac. ‘They need assistance. Anyone else qualified to operate the winch up there?’

‘Yes.’ The word was reluctant. ‘Red Watch is here now as well.’

Another SERT partnership of Angus and Dale. This was good.

‘I’ll get inside,’ Julia suggested. ‘You winch down with a nappy harness and I’ll bring out as many as I can. Then we’ll be able to assess what we’ve got left.’

Mac must have shifted his microphone but Julia could hear faint voices in animated conversation and knew that her idea was being discussed with others up there on the bridge. A long minute later and Mac was ready to talk to her again.

‘On one condition,’ he said briskly. ‘We’re monitoring the cables. We might not get much warning if things aren’t going to hold but if I give the word you have to get yourself out of there. Stat. No argument. Got it?’

‘Got it.’

Julia did get it and her promise of co-operation was sincere. She heard the faint wail of distress as she was hoisted away from the faces at the bottom of the carriage despite her hand signals to indicate that things were in hand and rescue was close.

And then there she was. Beside the door. She had to climb inside and unclip the winch line that suddenly felt like an umbilical cord in its ability to sustain life.

Fear kicked in as she did precisely that. Her mouth went dry and her heart pounded so hard it was almost painful. For a horribly long moment, Julia thought she’d gone too far this time. She couldn’t do this after all.

‘Jules? Talk to me.’

The voice was soft but she could hear a faint reflection of her own fear. Mac was afraid for her and it was more than concern for the wellbeing of his colleague. Or was that just wishful thinking on her part?

Stupidly—and so inappropriately it was easy to contain—Julia felt an odd tightness in her throat. A prickle behind her eyes that advertised embryonic tears. She dismissed them with a simple swallow. She didn’t need to go there. All she’d needed had been to hear his voice. To remind herself that she wasn’t doing this alone. That she had the best possible person in the world watching her back right now.

‘I’m…inside,’ she relayed. ‘Climbing down.’ She moved as she spoke. Cautiously. Hanging onto the back of a seat frame as her feet found purchase on the cushioned back of the next seat down the vertical aisle. ‘How are those cables looking, mate?’

‘Good,’ came the terse response. Mac was concentrating as hard as she was.

‘These seats make quite a good ladder.’ Julia kept talking because she wanted Mac to keep responding. She wanted to hear his voice. Maybe she needed to keep hearing it because it gave her more courage than she could ever otherwise summon.

But when she was halfway down the aisle, the smell hit her. The smell of fear. And she could hear the voices and moans and she knew that within seconds she would be able to speak to and touch these unfortunate people. She could start doing the job she was trained to do and help those who had been plunged into a nightmare they couldn’t deal with alone.

Julia felt the power that came with the knowledge that she could help and that power gave her complete focus. Knowing that Mac was close gave her strength, yes, but that was simply a platform now. This was it.

Time to go to work.

‘Who can hear me?’ she called, pausing briefly. ‘Keep still but raise your hand if you can.’

She wanted to count. To find out how many were conscious enough to hear her and physically capable of any movement at all.

One hand went up tentatively. And then there was another. And another. Six? No, seven. And dim patches where she could see the shape of people but no hands. The less injured people would have to be evacuated first to allow access to the others.

The woman she’d earlier deemed close to hysteria was still sobbing. ‘Please…’ she called back. ‘Take Carla first. She’s only seven…Please!’

Julia revised her count to eight. Carla was being clutched too tightly to have raised her hand.

She climbed closer. The teenage boy with the injured arm was silent but she was close enough to see that his eyes were locked on her progress. Searching for her face. Silently pleading with as much passion as Carla’s mother.

Julia had to tear her gaze away to try and reassess the number and condition of victims she would be dealing with. To triage the whole scene, but it was difficult. The light had faded even more outside now and it was much darker in here. The light on her helmet could only illuminate a patch at a time and it was like trying to put a mental jigsaw together.

People were jumbled together. Right now it was impossible to see which limbs belonged to which person or even how many people were in the tangle.

‘Get me out!’ A male voice from behind Carla and her mother was loud. ‘I can’t feel my legs. I need help.’

Julia saw hands come over the seat back behind the still sobbing woman. Good grief, was the man trying to move himself despite possible spinal or neck injuries? Someone beside him groaned and then someone else screamed as the man’s frantic efforts created a shuffle of movement and made the carriage swing alarmingly.

‘Stay absolutely still, and I mean everybody!’ Julia injected every ounce of authority she could into the command. ‘Listen to me,’ she continued, her tone softening a little. ‘I know you’re all scared but you’ve all been incredibly brave for a long time and I need you all to hang onto that courage so you can help me do my job.’

Carla’s mother sniffed and fixed wide eyes on Julia. She would do anything, her gaze said. Anything that would, at least, save her child. The man behind her was quiet. Hopefully listening. Even a groan from nearby sounded as if someone was doing their best to stifle the involuntary interruption.

‘We’re going to get you all out,’ Julia said confidently, ‘but we have to do this carefully. One at a time. I’m going to help anyone who can move to get to the top of the carriage where someone will be waiting to carry them up to the bridge.’

Would Mac be there yet? Dangling on a winch line with a harness in his hands that he would pass through the door to Julia to buckle onto each survivor?

‘I’m here, Jules.’ It wasn’t the first time that Mac had seemed to be able to read her thoughts. ‘Ready when you are.’

‘When we’ve got as many as we can out, we’ll be able to take care of all of you that are injured and we’ll get you out as well,’ Julia told the passengers. ‘Do you all understand? Can you help me?’

She heard a whimper of fear and another groan but amongst the sounds of suffering came assent.

‘Just get on with it!’ the loud man was pleading now. ‘Stop talking and do something.’

Julia climbed past another seat. She made sure her feet were secure and then anchored herself with one hand. ‘Pass Carla to me,’ she ordered.

‘No-o-o-o!’ the child shrieked.

‘You have to, baby.’ With tears streaming down her face but her voice remarkably calm, Carla’s mother peeled small arms from around her neck and pushed her child towards Julia. ‘I’ll be there soon, I promise.’ Her voice broke on the last word but Julia now had a small girl clinging her like a terrified monkey and she didn’t take the time to reassure the mother. She was climbing upwards again and part of her brain was planning ahead. The teenage boy next. She had a triangular bandage in the neat pack belted to her hips. She could secure his injured arm and he should be able to climb with her. Maybe Carla’s mother after that, so that her panic wouldn’t make it harder for everyone else to wait their turn.

There would be others after that and then the real work could begin. Assessing and stabilising the injured and getting them out of here and on the way to definitive medical care.

By then the weight in the carriage and the potential for unexpected movement would be well down. The cables would have had a reasonably thorough test. Mac or one of the other SERT guys could join her. Someone would have to because there was no way she could carry the injured up herself.

Carrying a slight, seven-year-old girl was proving hard enough. The extra weight made it an effort to balance and then push up to the next padded rung of this odd ladder of seats. Julia’s breathing was becoming labored and the muscles in her legs and arms were burning. She had to concentrate more with every step so that fatigue wouldn’t cause a slip that might send them both falling down the central aisle.

She couldn’t even afford the extra effort of looking up past her burden to see how close she was to the top or whether Mac was peering down to watch her progress.

‘You’re almost there. Two more.’

How did he do that? Know precisely when she needed encouragement? This time, he could probably see the way she hesitated before each upward push. How each hesitation was becoming a little longer so he wasn’t really mind-reading. It just felt like that.

She could do two more. No. Julia could feel the determined line of her lips twist into a kind of smile. She could do ten more knowing that Mac was waiting at the top.

‘Good job.’

The quiet words were praise enough for her efforts. Julia was too breathless to respond immediately, though. She simply nodded once and then held out her hand for the nappy harness. Then she edged—carefully—into the first space of upturned seats so that she could sit and use both arms and hands for her next task.

‘It’s OK, sweetheart,’ she told the rigid bundle on her lap. ‘I’m going to put these special straps around you and then Mac’s going to get you out of here and carry you right up to the top.’

‘No-o-o!’ Arms tightened their vice-like grip around Julia’s neck.

‘I need to go back and look after the other people. Like your mummy. You’ll be fine, Carla, I promise.’

But the child was shaking now. Whimpering with fear.

‘Mac is a very nice man,’ Julia told her.

‘Cheers, mate,’ came with the chuckle in her earphones.

‘And he really, really likes children,’ Julia added. ‘Looking after little girls like you is absolutely his favourite thing to do.’

The earphones stayed silent this time. What was Mac thinking? Remembering occasions when he’d poured his heart and soul into trying to save a child? The heartbreak when he hadn’t been successful?

Carla had relaxed fractionally. Enough for Julia to be able to slip the straps into position and then close and tighten buckles. She hoped the silence wasn’t because Mac was putting two and two together somehow. That he had noticed at some point over the last weeks the way she avoided prolonged contact with paediatric patients if possible. The way she was so good at distancing herself by taking on any case that was preferably complicated and adult.

No. She was pretty confident she kept personal issues well away from her work. Out of her life, in fact, because she wasn’t letting anyone close enough to discover the truth.

‘I’m going to tell Mummy how brave you are,’ Julia told Carla. ‘As soon as I get back down to her. Do you think she’ll be proud of you?’

Carla didn’t nod but her head moved so that she could look up at Julia.

‘I’m proud of you.’ Julia smiled. ‘Mac will be, too, you’ll see.’

She eased herself to her feet. Carla was still tense and she cried out in terror when Julia lifted her into Mac’s waiting hands but then she was in his strong, secure grasp and the child looked up and saw the face of the man above her.

Mac’s smile was as reassuring as a hug.

‘Hi, there, peanut,’ he said. ‘Going to come for a wee ride with me?’

And this time Carla nodded and, as Mac clipped the buckle of her harness to his own and instructed the child to put her arms around his neck and hold on tight, she turned her head and Julia could see that she was—incredibly—smiling herself.

Mac was simply the best when it came to dealing with children. It had made it easier to step back herself and not get people asking awkward questions.

‘Your job,’ she could say to Mac with total sincerity. ‘You’re the best.’

He was. He adored kids and she knew him, while he probably wouldn’t admit it on station, he was aching for some of his own. And why not? He was in his mid-thirties and by now the absolute obsession with his career had to be ebbing enough for him to realise he might be running out of time to find someone to make a family with. He needed to get on with it.

He’d have gorgeous children and he’d make the best father ever.

And some incredibly lucky woman was going to be his wife and the mother of those children.

Julia turned and began climbing back down as soon as she saw Mac and Carla beginning their upward journey. She had to be just as slow and careful as she had been the first time she had done this despite it seeming easier having done it before. She couldn’t afford to fall.

The descent was too slow. It allowed too much time for errant thoughts and emotions to seep into her mind and body.

Inappropriate things but she was learning to expect the backwash that came from seeing Mac with a child in his arms.

A mix of grief. And jealousy. And…yes…desire.

And, as usual, they had to be stamped out with fierce determination because there was nothing Julia could do to change the way things were now.

Not a single thing.

It took well over an hour for her to help the eight relatively uninjured victims up to the door where they had been winched up to the bridge and into the care of waiting rescuers. Eight heavy people who had required assistance to make the climb. Constant guidance and encouragement, if not actual physical support. Julia had to be exhausted both physically and mentally.

‘Angus and Dale could take over the next stage,’ Mac suggested.

‘No way.’ Julia was heading for the base of the carriage again and the crisp words via the communication system put paid to any further suggestions on Mac’s part. ‘The job’s nearly done and there’s no way I’m deserting Ken. He knows me, now.’

And she knew. She was deeply involved in this scenario and, knowing Jules, she would be committed to the people and the mission a thousand per cent. If they wanted to get her out of there it would be neither easy nor pleasant. And she was right, the job was nearly done. She had managed to get virtually all the people from the carriage out and Mac knew there was one conscious, injured person, one unconscious and one dead.

So Mac went in to join her because Julia was his partner and everybody knew just how tight a team these two were these days. Inseparable. And darned good at their jobs.

This time when Mac came down on the winch line he brought equipment and the medical supplies they would need.

The bottom two rows of upturned seats had become a kind of triage station.

Julia indicated one of her patients. ‘This man has been unconscious since I got my first glance inside.’

The figure was slumped on the seat by the window but Mac could see the end of a plastic OP airway in his mouth. Julia had obviously assessed him and done what she could in the brief window of time that triaging allowed for.

‘Head injury,’ Julia continued. ‘GCS 3. Rapid, weak pulse and query Cheyne-Stokes breathing pattern.’

The man was very seriously injured, then. Unlikely to survive. If they took the time to evacuate him first, others who could survive might die.

‘And this is Ken.’ Julia was hanging onto the edge of the seat across the aisle now. ‘Spinal injury. Paralysis of both legs and paresthesia in both hands.’

A high spinal injury, then. He would need very careful immobilisation before evacuation so they didn’t exacerbate the injury.

Julia dropped lower, shining the light of her helmet on the very end of the carriage.

‘Status zero here,’ she told Mac quietly. ‘There were several people on top of him to start with. He’s too heavy for me to shift but I’ve moved enough to be fairly sure there’s no one underneath him.’

Mac reached down and caught the arm and shoulder of the heavy body, lifting it further than Julia would have managed. A jumble of luggage, personal possessions like books and drink bottles filled a fair bit of space but there was no sign of movement that might indicate a survivor struggling to get out. He could see shards of broken glass in the debris as well. And so much blood he felt a familiar knot tighten in his gut. He let the man’s body fall back gently.

‘Let’s deal with what we’ve got first.’

Julia nodded. ‘Ken first?’

Mac agreed. The sooner they had his spine immobilised and protected, the better the outcome might be for him.

Julia wriggled into a position where she could support Ken’s head while Mac went to get the equipment they would need. A neck collar and survival blankets to start with. Oxygen and IV gear and pain relief. He found her squashed into the tiny gap beside Ken, ready to take the collar and ease it into position, and it wasn’t the first time he thought it was a blessing that she was so little and mobile. There was no way he could have managed that feat so competently.

‘Do you think I’ve broken my neck?’ Ken sounded terrified.

‘This is a precaution,’ Julia reassured him. ‘We don’t know what part of your spine has been injured and we need to keep it all in line. It’s really important that you don’t move even after the collar’s secured because the rest of your back isn’t protected yet. We’ll do everything we can but we need you to help too. Can you do that?’

The huff of sound was still fearful. ‘I guess.’

‘Just hang in there, mate. You’re doing really, really well.’

Mac was busy opening packages but he could hear the smile in Julia’s voice as she reassured her patient. He knew exactly how her face would be looking as she spoke even though he couldn’t see it. Ken probably couldn’t see it either. He might see the way her lips curved back into her cheeks but he wouldn’t be able to see the way Julia’s eyes always smiled right along with her mouth. The way her whole face—even her whole body sometimes—seemed connected to her emotional state.

Fascinating to watch. Or provoke. Mac wasn’t the only one on station who took pleasure in engaging Julia in an animated discussion.

Or delight in making her smile.

‘We’re going to give you something for that pain very soon.’ Julia was swabbing a patch on Ken’s forearm. ‘Wee scratch coming up. There. All done. Wasn’t so bad, was it?’

‘Didn’t feel a thing. You know what you’re doing, don’t you, lassie?’

Julia chuckled. ‘Sure do. Now, are you allergic to any drugs that you know of?’

Mac flicked the top of an ampoule to move the fluid inside. Then he snapped it and slid a needle into the narrow neck to draw up the drug.

Ken was right. Julia knew what she was doing. He was right, too. She was involved in this scenario to the extent that it would have been detrimental to try and give her a break. She had established a connection with Ken and he was in exactly the right frame of mind to co-operate with whatever measures needed to be taken to rescue him.

He trusted Julia and Mac knew the trust wasn’t misplaced. He had to feel completely dependent on her right now but he knew that she would be treating his vulnerability with the same kind of compassion and skill she brought to the medical practices he had witnessed her administering.

She fitted an oxygen mask onto Ken and hooked it up to the small cylinder from the pack. ‘I won’t run fluids,’ she told Mac. ‘BP’s down but it’s more likely to be neurogenic than hypovolaemic shock.’

‘What does that mean?’ Ken asked fearfully.

‘Any injury to the spine can interfere with nerves,’ Julia told him. ‘That’s why you can’t feel your legs at the moment and you’re getting pins and needles in your hands. It’s not necessarily permanent,’ she added firmly, as though she’d given this reassurance more than once. ‘We can’t know what damage there is but what we can do is take care not to make it any worse.’

A lot of care had to go into the next stage of this rescue. They had to get Ken flat and secured onto a stretcher without twisting or bending his vertebrae. Then they would have to cushion his head and strap him so securely onto a stretcher there would be no danger of movement during the extrication process.

Minutes ticked past swiftly. Mac could feel exhaustion biding its time, waiting for an opportunity to ambush him, and he knew that Julia had to be a long way further down that track. Not that she was slowing down, of course. She never did. Mac was proud of his partner. Not just for her endurance or the way she had crawled into the cramped space by the window to hold Ken’s head to support his neck but for the way she effortlessly turned her skills to emotional support for their patient.

‘Glasgow’s home for you, isn’t it, Ken?’ she asked.

‘Aye. I was just going up to Inverness on business for the day.’

‘What do you do?’

‘My company makes umbrellas.’

Julia chuckled. ‘You must be doing really well. I’ve never seen so much rain as I have in the three months I’ve been here.’

‘Where are you from?’

‘New Zealand.’

‘That’s a country I’ve always wanted to visit. Is it as beautiful as they say it is?’

Mac found himself nodding. He felt exactly the same way. He’d love to get down to the bottom of the world for a visit. Always had, but the urge had got a lot stronger in the last few months. Funny, that.

‘It is,’ Julia was saying. ‘Parts of it are very similar to Scotland but I think we get a bit more sunshine.’

‘You going back?’

‘Yes. I work with an ambulance service that has a rescue unit back home. I’m here for six months for advanced training.’

‘What part of New Zealand do you live in?’

‘Christchurch. Middle of the south island. We’ve got the Alps to the west and the sea to the east. I grew up there.’

‘You’ve got family to go home to, then.’ Ken’s voice wobbled. He was obviously thinking of his own family and feeling alone right now.

‘Only my big sister,’ Julia told him.

Mac was busy pulling the extrication device they needed from its case but he was listening carefully. This was personal information. The kind that Jules had kept from her colleagues. He might have been left with questions that would never be answered but Ken wanted distraction from his situation. And Julia was so involved, she probably hadn’t registered that others might be able to hear.

‘She’s like a mum, really,’ she told Ken. ‘My mother died shortly after I was born. Anne’s nearly seven years older than me and she just took over from the various nannies. When Dad died I was only eleven but Anne was old enough to take care of me. She’s amazing. Managed to raise me and get through med school at the same time. I love her to bits.’

There was a short silence then. Julia appeared to be checking Ken’s pulse. Or was she holding his hand?

‘When you get to New Zealand,’ she said then, ‘make sure you visit Christchurch. It’s a very English city but don’t hold that against it, will you?’

Something suspiciously like a sniffle could be heard from Ken. ‘Nay, lassie,’ he said. ‘I won’t.’

He hadn’t missed the conviction in Julia’s tone that he would, someday, be well enough to travel to the other side of the world. She had deepened the connection between them by sharing personal information and now her confidence was a boost. She was his anchor right now. Nothing more personal was said because she shifted to professional responsibilities, making sure Ken was fully informed and understood everything going on around him to keep his fear at bay.

‘We’re getting something called a KED around you now, Ken. You’ll feel us tipping you a bit so we can slide it underneath.’

‘But I’m not supposed to move!’

‘I’ve got you. Relax. I won’t let anything happen to your alignment.’

‘What did you say it was?’

‘It’s like a body splint. It goes right round your chest and waist and up behind your neck and then we do up a whole bunch of straps. Then it’ll be safe to get you on the stretcher and out of here.’

‘It’s dark now, isn’t it?’

‘Pretty much. Don’t worry. We’ll have lights all over the place out there now. We can see what we’re doing.’

Sure enough, massive lights had been put in place both on the ground and the bridge and, despite drizzle that was determined to become rain, the visibility was excellent. It was still a slow job extricating Ken. He had pain relief on board and was completely immobilised but even the tiniest movement hurt. Angus joined them inside the carriage but it still took an age to inch the stretcher carefully upwards. Julia stayed as close as she could to Ken’s head. Talking to him. Reassuring him. Sympathising with the amount of pain he was in. It needed extra help to get the stretcher out of the door and attached to the winch and while that was happening Mac checked the harness he still wore in preparation to accompany the stretcher.

But Julia had other ideas.

‘I’ll go up with him.’

What he could see of her face looked very pale. Pinched, almost, as though she had been doing more than reassuring Ken and had actually taken some of his pain on board. Mac shook the thought off but whatever the cause she was reaching the limits of her endurance and steadying a stretcher being winched to make sure it didn’t catch on obstacles, not to mention helping to lift it over the lip of the destination, was no mean feat.

‘I think I should,’ was all he said.

But then he looked down from Julia’s face to where her hand was holding Ken’s. To the way Ken was looking up at Julia, his fear only just contained. And, for a weird moment, Mac felt envious. Of that connection. Of that touch.

‘OK,’ he amended a little hurriedly. ‘If you’re sure.’

Julia gave a single nod. ‘I’m sure.’

There were hand-held television cameras on the bridge now. Journalists eager to interview Julia as Ken was transferred to waiting paramedic crews who had a helicopter ready to evacuate him.

‘You’re going to the best spinal unit in Glasgow for assessment,’ Julia was able to tell Ken as she said goodbye. ‘I’ll come and visit you very soon.’

She avoided the media, pushing back to watch anxiously as her SERT colleagues brought out the man with the serious head injury, who was, amazingly, still clinging to life, and were then winched up themselves, one by one. By the time Mac joined her on the bridge, they had been on scene for nearly five hours and their official shift had finished some time ago.

Not that any of them were about to leave just yet. The weather was closing in and the transport that had taken Ken to Glasgow had been the last that would be leaving by air. Joe was grounded so they would have to organise road transport to get back to station and the people who could do that for them were otherwise occupied because the crane had finally arrived and the last stages of this rescue were under way.

Things hadn’t quite ended. It made no difference that they had started this shift well over twelve hours ago and that they were both exhausted. This had become ‘their’ job and they would see it through to the bitter end.

Had she known how bitter that end would be, Julia thought later, she would never have been so willing to accompany Mac back to the carriage for a final check. She would have found some way to ensure that someone other than them were the last people present.

The dead body was sprawled flat on the floor now, debris strewn under, around and over him. Julia edged in beside a seat to give the men in orange overalls room to load the man onto a stretcher and carry him to the temporary morgue set up in one of the huge tents. A space she knew already had fourteen occupants from this disaster.

She watched in silence as the stretcher was eased through the door and outside into the bleak night. Then she turned her head to see Mac also watching. Unguarded for an instant as the beam of her headlamp caught his face, she could see his exhaustion and the kind of defeat that went with every life lost on their watch.

Then he stooped and picked something up from the debris that had been pushed into piles to make way for the stretcher. Julia focused on what he held. It was a soft toy animal of some kind. Probably well loved and shabby to start with but it now had stuffing coming from a ripped-off leg and it was covered with bloodstains.

‘Carla’s, do you think?’

‘Probably. We didn’t have any other children in the carriage, thank goodness.’

For a long moment, she held Mac’s gaze. Watching the wheels turning in a brain shrugging off how tired it was. For a moment she wondered if he was thinking her statement was another indication of her aversion to working with paediatric cases but then she saw the grim lines in his face deepen and a haunted look appear in the way he frowned. There was another possibility.

They both turned to look back at the space the dead man had filled.

At the door that had been blocked by the body.

It was Mac who moved to open it. He had to put his shoulder against it and push because it was blocked from the inside. And then Julia heard him curse, softly but vehemently, as he dropped instantly to a crouch.

Her view was limited to what she could see over his shoulder because Mac filled the narrow doorway. She could see narrow shoulders and the back of a head covered with long, blonde hair. A woman, then. Had she been thrown to hit her head against the basin during the violent change of direction as the carriage had tipped? Except that there was no obvious injury to be seen from this angle.

Mac had his hand on her neck, searching for a pulse.

‘She’s too cold.’ Mac’s voice sounded raw. ‘Been dead for a fair while.’

At least there hadn’t been a child in here as well. Julia still had to swallow hard as she reached for the portable radio clipped to her belt. ‘I’ll let the guys know to bring the stretcher back.’

‘Wait!’ Mac was examining the woman, looking for an indication of what might have killed her. He found nothing.

‘Pelvis?’ Julia suggested.

Mac put his hands on the woman’s hips and pressed. Julia knew it would have been a gentle test but she could see the movement. There were major blood vessels running through that area. If one was cut it was quite possible to bleed to death in a short space of time.

It was also possible they might have been able to save her if they’d got to her first.

Mac was pressing a hand to the woman’s abdomen now. It was distended. Even more distended than they might have expected from all the internal bleeding.

‘Oh, God!’ Mac groaned.

Julia didn’t ask. She didn’t need to. The shape was too regular and obviously too firm to be simply an accumulation of blood. The woman had probably only been in the early stages of her pregnancy but there had been two lives lost here.

Mac straightened. He didn’t meet Julia’s horrified gaze.

‘It’s time we went home,’ he said heavily. ‘There’s nothing more we can do here.’

Chapter Three

SOMETHING wasn’t right.

They should have been able to debrief and put things into perspective on the long road trip back to headquarters courtesy of a military vehicle. They could have talked through how impossible it would have been to save that young woman. Even if they’d known she was there, they would still have had to evacuate all the mobile people and the time needed to shift the dead man and then extricate her would have put Ken in more trouble. And they couldn’t have known. There wasn’t even a window that Julia could have looked into from the outside.

These were things that should have been said aloud. Dissected and come to terms with. And maybe then they could have congratulated themselves on a job well done. The fact that ten people had made it out alive when it could have gone in a very different direction and claimed even more victims.

But Mac, for the first time Julia had known him, didn’t want to talk and that was confusing. He was the strongest, bravest man she had ever met. Six feet tall in his socks and without an ounce of fat on his body. His strength alone was enough to inspire confidence Julia couldn’t hope to impart as soon as he arrived on scene. But there was more to Mac than physical attributes. He was so open and honest and always smiling. Smiling so much that he had deep crinkles around his eyes and grooves on his cheeks. She had seen him tired beyond exhaustion. Frustrated enough to be angry. Sad, even, to the point of his voice sounding thick with tears, but she’d never seen him quite like this.

‘I’m stuffed,’ he said, when she tried to get him to talk at the start of their road trip home. ‘I need sleep. Let’s leave the talking till later, OK?’

Which would have been fine, except that Mac didn’t sleep. Neither could Julia, Not after she’d noticed the way he was staring through the window on his side. Lost in thoughts he obviously didn’t want to share and looking so…bleak.

He closed his eyes, later, but he was feigning sleep. Julia could tell because she could see the way his hands were clenched into fists. So tense.

She wanted—badly—to touch him. To find out what was bothering him and—somehow—make it better.

She cared, dammit. Too much.

And so she said nothing. She kept to her side of the back seat and stared out of her window. Her body ached with weariness and more than a few bumps and bruises but her heart ached more.

For Mac.

Ten years.

It had been a decade ago and Mac hadn’t even thought about it for eons.

What was it about that moment that had brought it back so vividly?

The long blonde hair?

The early pregnancy?

Or was it because Julia had been standing so close to him?

It was like pieces of a jigsaw he hadn’t intended, or wanted, to solve had come together out of nowhere.

Mac could hear the suck of heavy-duty tyres on water-soaked roadways along with the rumble of the engine and the background buzz of the radio station the driver was listening to. Runnels of water coalesced on the window and then streaked sideways but Mac wasn’t really watching. He was seeing an altogether different picture.

No wonder he found Julia Bennett so damned attractive on so many levels. It wasn’t just that she was gorgeous and smart and brave. It was that full-on approach to life in combination with an ability to sidestep any hint of a meaningful personal relationship that did it.

Presented the kind of challenge any red-blooded man would find irresistible, it was almost a matter of honour to have a crack at winning such a prize. Or wanting to.

Why hadn’t he put two and two together before this?

Because he’d done his damnedest to forget Christine, that was why. To forget the heartache of absolute failure. To move on and make a success of his life.

‘You OK, mate?’ Julia had asked when they were on the main road and settling in for their journey back to headquarters.

‘I’m stuffed,’ he’d growled. And he was. Exhausted both physically and emotionally. In pain, actually, because something raw had been unexpectedly exposed deep within. He’d never talked to anyone about it. Ever. And if he did, Julia would be at the bottom of any list of potential listeners. He wasn’t about to admit the kind of failure he was on a personal level. Preferably not to anyone but especially not to a woman whom he doubted had ever failed at anything and who would be less than impressed with a man who was nowhere near her equal.

‘I need sleep,’ he’d added tonelessly, turning away from her. ‘Let’s leave the talking till later, OK?’

She accepted his withdrawal and why wouldn’t she? Today had been tough. This was the best job in the world but it took a day when they succeeded a hundred per cent to reinforce that. A job when no one died or got maimed for life. The way through feeling like that was to talk about it, of course. He knew that. Debriefing was ingrained in anyone who worked in careers that dealt with this kind of trauma and degree of human suffering. It was a part of the job, really, to analyse everything that had happened. To take a quiet pride in things that had been done well and to learn from anything else so they could go out and do an even better job next time.

But he couldn’t talk to Julia about this. Not yet. Not when he’d been blindsided by memories and could see danger signs a mile high. Signs that warned him how easy it would be to fall in love with this woman. Hell, he was already quite a way down that track and hadn’t even noticed.

He couldn’t afford to let her anywhere near him right now, when the scab over that failure had been ripped off and he was feeling raw. Vulnerable, even, and Alan MacCulloch didn’t do vulnerable, thanks very much. Imagine if she wasn’t unimpressed with his history. If she accepted him, warts and all. He’d fall. Hard. In a way he’d managed to avoid for a whole decade. Nearly a quarter of his life, come to think of it.

She didn’t want that.

Neither did he.

Julia was looking at him. He could feel it. He could sense her concern, like a gust of warmth crossing the gap on the back seat in the back of this vehicle. She wanted to offer comfort but Mac didn’t want that either. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

Well after midnight, they got back to the outskirts of Glasgow and the station they shared with a road-based ambulance service. They collected their packs from the back of the truck.

‘Cheers, mate,’ Julia said to the soldier who’d been their chauffeur. ‘Hope you get to go back to base and get some shuteye now.’

‘Not a chance.’ The young soldier grinned. ‘I’ve got to get back to the scene. We’ll be there until it’s all cleaned up.’

Cleaning up was exactly what he and Julia needed to do. Mac picked up his pack and swung it onto his back. From the corner of his eye he could see Julia struggling to do the same. She was so tired she could barely stay upright, poor thing. The urge to look after her was far too strong to ignore.

‘Here,’ he said gruffly. ‘I’ll take them. You go and hit the showers.’

‘No, thanks.’ The tone was cool. ‘I can manage.’

She gave up on lifting the pack to her back and just held it in her arms instead, turning away without a glance in his direction.

It was a slap he deserved so he had no right to feel hurt. Julia had done nothing wrong and hadn’t deserved to be treated the way he had treated her. God, how selfish had he been? Maybe she’d been the one who needed the debrief. Praise, if nothing else, for her extraordinary courage and endurance.

He’d made a mistake. A big one. How hard would it have been to talk about the job like they always did? Made a few jokes, even. The kind of black humour that diffused the dark space they were all in danger of slipping into with this kind of job. He could have made her smile and that would have made him smile and feel good. She would never have guessed that he’d been thinking of anything other than work.

He’d been stupid as well as selfish. Not only had he created an uncomfortable distance between himself and his partner, it had been the worst defence possible for himself. He’d had nothing to do but think for nearly two hours. Sitting there being so aware of the woman sitting beside him. Wanting her and pushing her away simultaneously.

God, he’d never felt this tired. Exhaustion was becoming confusion. A long, hot shower was what he needed and then he’d head home. Maybe it was better not to say anything more to Jules tonight in an attempt to put things right because, the way he was feeling, he would most likely make things worse. They were due for two days off now. By the time they had to see each other again, she might have forgotten his moodiness or at least forgiven his silence. They could just go back and pick up where they’d left off.

Being colleagues who respected and cared about each other. Julia had called the soldier ‘mate’ and it was what she often called him as well. That’s what they were. Mates. Comrades. Not quite friends because that implied something a lot more personal than they had. Dangerous territory.

The decision to leave things was a relief. The shower and change into warm, dry civvies was a comfort. Mac signed himself out and noted Julia’s signature already in the logbook. She’d left before him and that was good.

Or was it?

And why was her car still in the parking lot at the back of the station?

Maybe she’d gone into the messroom to talk to the crew on night shift. Mac battled, briefly, with the desire to retrace his footsteps and find her but solved the problem by turning towards his own vehicle—a hefty, black four-wheel drive that filled his allocated space. Overflowed from it, in fact, despite him nosing it in until the front bumper virtually touched the moss of the old stone wall surrounding this area. There were trees on the other side of the wall. Big, dark shapes that created such intense shadows he didn’t see Julia until he was about to pull his driver’s door open.

She was sitting on the wall. Wrapped up in a padded anorak and mittens. Waiting for him.

‘What the—?’

Julia jumped down. Her hood fell away and she wrapped her arms around her body as she took a step forward. And then another. Until she was close enough for him to see that her hair was still damp despite the protection the hood had given her from the drizzle. Close enough for him to smell the shampoo she’d just been using.

‘I couldn’t go home,’ she said quietly. ‘Not without knowing what rattled your cage so much tonight.’ Her gaze caught his and held it. ‘Was it something I did?’

‘Good grief, no!’ Mac was transfixed. By the smell of…what was it? A mixture of soap and…almonds, that’s what it was. Even more by the warmth he could feel radiating off this small, determined woman. Most of all, by the way her eyes seemed to catch the glow from the lights behind him in the parking lot. He knew her eyes were blue but right now they were just huge and dark and full of concern.

‘It…it was the job,’ he told her. ‘It…got to me.’

‘Of course it did.’ A tiny nod advertised that Julia had already come to that conclusion. ‘There’d be something wrong if it didn’t.’ She frowned now, glancing down and lowering her voice. ‘But why couldn’t you talk about it? Like we always do?’