Читать книгу: «Rats against martian cats»

© Igor Smyr, 2026

ISBN 978-5-0069-9150-7

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

RATS AGAINST MARTIAN CATS

A team of rat detectives with advanced weapons investigates a daring robbery at the Galactic Cheese Exchange. All clues point to mysterious Martian cats. To solve the case, the rats will have to travel to Mars, face cunning cats and their technologies, and figure out themselves and their team.

MAIN CHARACTERS

Cheddar (leader) — a charismatic rat detective, slightly obsessed with cheese, master of tactics and wields a cryostasis laser (freezes).

Gadget (tech specialist) — a young genius, creator of all the team’s weapons, carries a reducer/augmentor laser (shrinks/enlarges).

Spark (fighter) — a hot-headed and impulsive rat, responsible for power operations, armed with a pyrolator laser (burns).

Shadow (infiltrator) — a quiet, stealthy rat scout, master of disguise, uses a hologram/illusion laser (disorients).

Protagonist-cat (implicit ally) — a young cat from Mars who disagrees with his kin’s plans, keeps a secret.

Laser Decoding:

Cryostasis — for immobilizing, creating obstacles.

Reducer/Augmentor — for changing the environment, accessing crevices, enlarging small details.

Pyrolator — for breaking through barriers, cutting off paths.

Holograms — for reconnaissance, disorientation, psychological overcoming of fears.

Chapter 1: The Disappearance of the Century

The silence at the Galactic Cheese Exchange was special. It smelled of parmesan, edam, and stardust. In the huge domed hall, where giant cheese heads floated in weightlessness, perfect order reigned. Until this morning.

Supervisor Brick, a fat and important rat in a uniformed vest, froze in the middle of the hall with his mouth open. His whiskers twitched in panic.

«It… it’s gone!» he croaked into the communicator. «The «Galactic Delicacy’! It weighed like a small asteroid! It’s gone!»

Where the legendary cheese had rested just yesterday — a milky-golden sphere with streaks of blue mold that shimmered like the Andromeda Nebula — there now gaped emptiness. No break-in, no traces, not even crumbs.

Sirens, sounding like a mouse’s desperate squeak, tore through the silence.

A hundred kilometers from the Exchange, at the orbital station «Burrow,» which looked like a tangle of space debris with engines attached, at the same time… cleaning was underway.

«Gadget, if you don’t turn off this hyper-suction vacuum cleaner right now, I’ll shrink you myself to the size of a dust particle and send you to that same bag!» Spark roared, jumping away from the noisy unit that was trying to suck up her tail.

«It’s only 7% off the specified trajectory!» came a guilty voice from behind a pile of microcircuits and wires. «I’ve almost fixed the algorithm!»

In the center of the command hall, on a leather (actually — very high-quality synthetic) chair, sat Cheddar. He methodically gnawed a piece of cheddar, studying a news hologram.

«They’re robbing a convoy with space cheese again,» he grumbled. «Amateurs. Real art is stealing what’s under the best guard.»

«Like our «Delicacy’?» from the shadow in the corner came a quiet, almost inaudible voice. Shadow detached from the wall, proving to be not a play of light, but a small gray rat with piercing black eyes.

««Ours’?» Cheddar snorted. «It belongs to the whole galaxy, Shadow. Though, I agree, we would be more worthy guardians of it than this bureaucrat Brick…»

At that moment, all screens on the station flashed red. An emergency beacon blinked.

«URGENT MESSAGE. CODE 001. GALACTIC DELICACY STOLEN. ALL LICENSED DETECTIVE AGENCIES…»

Cheddar froze with a piece of cheese halfway to his mouth. His eyes narrowed.

«No,» he whispered. «They didn’t dare.»

«Who ’they’?» Spark turned off the vacuum cleaner with a shot from her laser (a small black spot on the floor was now smoking).

«I don’t know,» Cheddar answered honestly, jumping up. «But whoever managed to steal this… this is a challenge. Personally to me. Personally to us! Team „Cheese Eaters,“ fall in!»

Three minutes later they stood before him: disheveled Gadget with a tablet in his paws, smoking with excitement Spark, and silent as a ghost Shadow.

«Details?» asked Cheddar.

Gadget displayed data on the main screen. «Security: 50 guard robots of the 5th generation, gravitational barriers, mass and DNA scanners. Time of disappearance: between 02:00 and 02:05 galactic time. Witnesses: zero. Traces: zero. This… is perfect.»

«Nothing is perfect,» said Shadow. «There’s what scanners don’t see.»

«Exactly!» Cheddar slapped his paw on the console. «We’re flying to the Exchange. We’ll check everything ourselves. Gadget, prepare the ship. Spark, check the weapons. Shadow… be ready for anything.»

«I’m always ready,» Shadow nodded, dissolving into the half-light.

«And what will we do?» asked Spark, whose eyes were already burning with excitement.

«What we do best,» Cheddar smiled, finishing the cheese. «We’ll sniff. Search. And, if needed… shoot.»

He glanced at the rack where four stylish blasters of unusual shape rested in their holsters. His «Ice Squall,» Spark’s pyrolator «Hot Embrace,» Gadget’s multi-functional «Sizer,» and Shadow’s mysterious «Mirage.»

The challenge was accepted.

Chapter 2: Training and Character

The ship «Cheese Hole» was far from perfect. It creaked, crackled, and sometimes turned off artificial gravity mid-sentence. But for the «Cheese Eaters» team, it was home.

While they rushed to the Exchange, Cheddar decided to conduct unscheduled training. «You need to go into battle as a honed team,» he declared.

The «Burrow’s» training hall was a spacious room with a changing interior. Today it was a labyrinth of boxes very similar to cheese packages.

«Scenario: protection of a small cheese warehouse from a raid by marauder robots,» Cheddar announced, taking a position behind a hologram control panel. «Goal: neutralize everyone without damaging the ’cargo.» Gadget, begin!»

Three training droids rolled out of the ventilation shafts with a hum — spherical, with tentacle-grabbers.

Gadget, nervously adjusting his glasses, pulled out his «Sizer.» The laser looked like a scientific calculator with a barrel.

«U-uh… reduction mode!» he squeaked and fired.

A blue beam hit the first droid. It began to shrink rapidly with an unpleasant squeak until it became the size of a ping-pong ball and rolled under a box.

«Great!» Cheddar shouted. «Spark, next!»

«Already doing it!» Spark, who couldn’t stand waiting, jumped out from behind cover. Her «Hot Embrace» was a short, brutal barrel with a radiator grille. She aimed and pulled the trigger.

A bright orange stream of flame hit droid number two. It began to smoke, blinked emergency lights, and helplessly spun in place.

«30% power, as you asked!» she reported proudly.

«I asked for 10%!» Cheddar sighed, looking at the scorched box. «Alright. Shadow, clean work.»

The third droid seemed to simply not be there. It just froze in place, its sensors spinning wildly. Shadow emerged from behind a neighboring box, stepping silently.

«Its sensors see five identical targets,» she explained quietly. «It can’t choose. Hologram trap.»

«Perfect,» Cheddar nodded. «And now my exit. Group target.»

Five more droids emerged from the hatches, this time armed with shields.

«Watch and learn,» Cheddar said, smoothly raising his «Ice Squall.» His blaster was the most elegant — with a silver body and blue backlighting.

He didn’t shoot point-blank. Instead, he released a wide fan of sparkling white-blue particles. The beam hit the floor in front of the droids, and instantly a wall of uneven, glittering ice rose up, blocking their path.

«Beautiful!» Gadget admired.

«Efficiency,» Cheddar corrected him. «Ice doesn’t just stop. It confuses, reflects beams, and after three minutes evaporates itself without a trace. But enough games…»

He was about to give a new command when suddenly the smallest droid, which everyone had forgotten, rolled out from under the box and poked Gadget in the side with an electroshocker.

«Ow!» Gadget squeaked and in passive defense fired randomly.

The blue beam hit… Cheddar.

«Oh,» Gadget said.

«What ’oh’?» Cheddar asked, but immediately understood. The world around him began to rapidly expand. No, he began to rapidly shrink! In a second he stood on the floor, no more than ten centimeters tall, next to his giant blaster.

Dead silence fell. Even the droids froze.

Spark was the first to break. She snorted. Then giggled. Then burst into such loud laughter that she almost sat on the floor.

«You… you’re so… tiny! And angry!» she could barely breathe from laughter.

Even Shadow hid a smile with her paw.

Cheddar, mouse-sized, shook his fist at them and shouted something in a thin, squeaky voice. From the side, it looked incredibly funny.

«Ga-ga-Gadget!» Spark managed to make out. «Immediately… return… as it was!»

«Now, now!» Gadget, red with embarrassment, adjusted the blaster. «Just switch the polarity… enlargement… carefully…»

A pink beam hit Cheddar. He began to grow. Quickly. Very quickly.

«Stop! Stop!» Cheddar shouted, already reaching his normal size.

But Gadget, overexcited, missed the button. Cheddar continued to grow until he bumped his head into the hall ceiling.

«You… me… into the ceiling… you GROOMED!» a muffled roar came from above.

Spark was already rolling on the floor, holding her stomach. Gadget in horror poked at the blaster interface. Shadow quietly approached and carefully took the «Sizer» from his trembling paws. She calmly switched the mode and fired.

Cheddar sighed with relief, returning to normal size. He brushed himself off, adjusted the fur on his head, and looked strictly at the team. Then at Gadget.

«Alright,» he said finally. «Remember two rules. First: never shoot at the commander. Second: if you do shoot anyway — make sure he has a good sense of humor. You’re lucky I have one.»

He turned to the others while Gadget nodded joyfully.

«Jokes aside, but at the Exchange everything will be real. There’s no ’undo’ button there. We work cleanly, understand each other from half a word and half a look. We’re a team. And we’ll find this thief, even if we have to dig up the whole galaxy. Clear?»

«Clear!» Spark and Gadget answered in chorus. Shadow silently nodded.

«Cheese Hole» exited warp jump. In the porthole froze, glittering with lights, a huge rotating structure — the Galactic Cheese Exchange. The crime scene awaited.

Chapter 3: The Scent of Catnip

The «Cheese Hole» station docked with the Exchange with a quiet hiss. The airlock opened, and the team was met not by air, but by a thick, saturated aroma — the tart smell of aged cheese with notes of nuts, herbs, and something cosmically elusive.

— Mmm… — Cheddar couldn’t help but exclaim. — Five-star aged Cheddar… Camembert with truffles… Roquefort…

— Focus, boss, — Spark poked him in the side. — We’re on the job.

Brick was already waiting for them. The supervisor looked as if he had not just been robbed, but personally insulted.

— Finally! — he grumbled, leading them down the shining corridors. — The Galactic Police were already here. They said — «clean job». What kind of cleanliness can there be when the main asset of galactic cuisine disappears?!

— Calm down, respected sir, — said Cheddar, although his nose was already working, analyzing thousands of smells. — We specialize in dirty work.

The storage hall of the «Delicacy» was impressive. It was a huge dome, in the center of which now gaped emptiness. Around it, held by force fields, floated other cheeses — smaller, but also impressive. Everything shone with sterile brilliance.

— Show us, — ordered Cheddar.

Shadow was the first to get to work. She froze in place, closed her eyes and seemed to dissolve into space. Her «Mirage» was not just a projector. It amplified her natural ability to notice the tiniest inconsistencies.

— The force field was turned off remotely, — she spoke after a minute, without opening her eyes. — Not hacked. Turned off by code. The mass scanners were… deceived. They were sent a signal that the object was in place.

— So, an insider? — asked Gadget, launching his scanners.

— Or a genius, — said Cheddar. — Spark, inspect the perimeter. Look for any stain, scratch, hair.

Spark, impatient to act, rushed to inspect the walls, armed with a magnifying lens.

Gadget meanwhile waved his tablet through the air. — Strange… very strange… Here, in the epicenter, a full spectral vacuum. As if the cheese wasn’t stolen, but… erased. But on the borders…

He approached the place where the force field ended. His instrument beeped.

— What? — Cheddar jumped.

— Microparticles, — whispered Gadget. — Very small. Organic. It’s… fish scales?

— Fish? — Spark wrinkled her nose. — Who eats fish in such quantities that…

She didn’t finish. Everyone exchanged understanding glances.

— ...to leave its traces everywhere? — Cheddar finished for her. His eyes lit up. — Cats.

Shadow suddenly crouched at the very edge of the platform. She ran her paw over the perfectly clean floor and brought it to her nose.

— And not just cats, — she said quietly. — It smells… of catnip. But not natural. Synthetic. Expensive.

— Martian cats, — Gadget breathed out, and fear sounded in his voice. — They are… they are semi-legend! A highly developed, secretive race. They never leave Mars!

— Looks like they left, — Cheddar stated grimly. — And robbed us all.

— But why do they need cheese? — Spark was surprised. — They are carnivores! They eat fish!

— It’s not about the food, — said Cheddar, circling the crime scene. — «Galactic Delicacy» is not just food. It’s a symbol. Stealing it… is a challenge to the whole galaxy. Or… — he stopped. — Or it’s needed for something else. Gadget, full analysis of these particles. Everything you can squeeze out.

While Gadget worked his magic over the samples, Cheddar gathered the team aside.

— Martian cats, — he repeated. — High technology, secrecy, no diplomatic contacts. We know nothing about them.

— We know they love fish and expensive toys, — Spark joked grimly.

— That’s what will help us, — Shadow said unexpectedly. Everyone looked at her. — They are secretive, but not flawless. Synthetic catnip is a luxury, a habit. Whoever did this was stressed. They needed calming down. This is not a cold-blooded professional. This… is someone who was nervous.

— Brilliant, Shadow! — Cheddar almost clapped his paws. — So they have a weak link. And we will find it.

— Here! — Gadget ran up to them, waving his tablet. — Scale analysis! This is not ordinary fish! It’s… «Moon Loach», a rare deep-sea fish from Enceladus! It’s served only in the most expensive restaurants on Mars! And… and I found a hair!

On the screen under the microscope lay a single, almost invisible hair. It was an unusual color — not white, not gray, but with a shimmering silver sheen, like expensive metal.

— Nano-coated fur, — Gadget gasped. — For camouflage against the environment. Ultra-modern technology.

— A perfect trace, — Cheddar whispered. — They are so confident that they didn’t even think anyone could detect it. They left us a business card.

— What do we do? — asked Spark, and her paw was already resting on the blaster handle.

Cheddar thought. His gaze slid over Brick’s frightened face, the shining hall, the endless space in the porthole.

— They are playing their game by their rules, — he said finally. — We can’t fly to Mars with a fight. They’ll blow us to pieces before we enter the atmosphere.

— So we surrender? — Spark asked disappointedly.

— Never, — Cheddar smiled. The smile was cunning, cheesy. — We’ll just change the rules. We won’t fly as detectives. We’ll fly as… traders.

— Traders? — Gadget repeated.

— Space junk, — Cheddar nodded. — Martian cats, according to rumors, have a weakness for ancient artifacts, strange trinkets. We’ll gather the most colorful, most useless cargo and go to the Red Planet. And there… we’ll sniff, search and, if needed…

— ...shoot, — Spark finished for him, and her eyes lit up again.

They walked back to the ship, and Cheddar was already making plans. Martian cats. Detectives against cats. It sounded like the beginning of a very bad joke.

But he wasn’t laughing. He smelled victory. And a little bit — of catnip.