We had seen all that Youghal could offer to the tourist; we were yearning for Salemina; we wanted to hear Benella talk about ‘the science’; we were eager to inspect the archaeologist, to see if he ‘would do’ for Salemina instead of the canon, or even the minor canon, of the English Church, for whom we had always privately destined her. Accordingly we decided to go by an earlier train, and give our family a pleasant surprise. It was five o’clock in the afternoon when our car trundled across St. Patrick’s Bridge, past Father Mathew’s statue, and within view of the church and bells of Shandon, that sound so grand on the pleasant waters of the river Lee. Away to the west is the two-armed river. Along its banks rise hills, green and well wooded, with beautiful gardens and verdant pastures reaching to the very brink of the shining stream.

It was Saturday afternoon, and I never drove through a livelier, quainter, more easy-going town. The streets were full of people selling various things and plying various trades, and among them we saw many a girl pretty enough to recall Thackeray’s admiration of the Corkagian beauties of his day. There was one in particular, driving a donkey in a straw-coloured governess cart, to whose graceful charm we succumbed on the instant. There was an exquisite deluderin’ wildness about her, a vivacity, a length of eyelash with a gleam of Irish grey eye, ‘the greyest of all things blue, the bluest of all things grey,’ that might well have inspired the English poet to write of her as he did of his own Irish wife; for Spenser, when he was not writing the Faerie Queene, or smoking Raleigh’s fragrant weed, wooed and wedded a fair colleen of County Cork.

‘Tell me, ye merchant daughters, did ye see
So fayre a creature in your town before?
Her goodlie eyes, like sapphyres shining bright;
Her forehead, ivory white;
Her lips like cherries, charming men to byte.’

Now we turned into the old Mardyke Walk, a rus in urbe, an avenue a mile long lined with noble elm-trees; forsaken now as a fashionable promenade for the Marina, but still beautiful and still beloved, though frequented chiefly by nurse-maids and children. Such babies and such children, of all classes and conditions—so jolly, smiling, dimpled, curly-headed; such joyous disregard of rags and dirt; such kindness one to the other in the little groups, where a child of ten would be giving an anxious eye to four or five brothers and sisters, and mothering a contented baby in arms as well.

Our driver, though very loquacious, was not quite intelligible. He pronounced the simple phrase ‘St. Patrick’s Street’ in a way to astonish the traveller; it would seem impossible to crowd as many h’s into three words, and to wrap each in flannel, as he succeeded in doing. He seemed pleased with our admiration of the babies, and said that Irish children did be very fat and strong and hearty; that they were the very best soldiers the Queen had, God kape her! They could stand anny hardship and anny climate, for they were not brought up soft, like the English. He also said that, fine as all Irish children undoubtedly were, Cork produced the flower of them all, and the finest women and the finest men; backing his opinion with an Homeric vaunt which Francesca took down on the spot:—

‘I’d back one man from Corkshire
To bate ten more from Yorkshire:
Kerrymen
Agin Derrymen,
And Munster agin creation,
Wirrasthrue! ‘tis a pity we aren’t a nation!’

Here he slackened his pace as we passed a small bosthoon driving a donkey, to call out facetiously, “Be good to your little brother, achree!”

“We must be very near Coolkilla House by this time,” said Francesca. “That isn’t Salemina sitting on the bench under the trees, is it? There is a gentleman with her, and she never wears a wide hat, but it looks like her red umbrella. No, of course it isn’t, for whoever it is belongs to that maid with the two children. Penelope, it is borne in upon me that we shouldn’t have come here unannounced, three hours ahead of the time arranged. Perhaps, whenever we had chosen to come, it would have been too soon. Wouldn’t it be exciting to have to keep out of Salemina’s way, as she has always done for us? I couldn’t endure it; it would make me homesick for Ronald. Go slowly, driver, please.”

Nevertheless, as we drew nearer we saw that it was Salemina; or at least it was seven-eighths of her, and one-eighth of a new person with whom we were not acquainted. She rose to meet us with an exclamation of astonishment, and after a hasty and affectionate greeting, presented Dr. La Touche. He said a few courteous words, and to our relief made no allusions to round towers, duns, raths, or other antiquities, and bade us adieu, saying that he should have the honour of waiting upon us that evening with our permission.

A person in a neat black dress and little black bonnet with white lawn strings now brought up the two children to say good-bye to Salemina. It was the Derelict, Benella Dusenberry, clothed in maid’s apparel, and looking, notwithstanding that disguise, like a New England schoolma’am. She was delighted to see us, scanned every detail of Francesca’s travelling costume with the frankest admiration, and would have allowed us to carry our wraps and umbrellas upstairs if she had not been reminded by Salemina. We had a cosy cup of tea together, and told our various adventures, but Salemina was not especially communicative about hers. Oddly enough, she had met the La Touche children at the hotel in Mallow. They were travelling with a very raw Irish nurse, who had no control of them whatever. They shrieked and kicked when taken to their rooms at night, until Salemina was obliged to speak to them, in order that Benella’s rest should not be disturbed.

“I felt so sorry for them,” she said—“the dear little girl put to bed with tangled hair and unwashed face, the boy in a rumpled, untidy nightgown, the bedclothes in confusion. I didn’t know who they were nor where they came from, but while the nurse was getting her supper I made them comfortable, and Broona went to sleep with my strange hand in hers. Perhaps it was only the warm Irish heart, the easy friendliness of the Irish temperament, but I felt as if the poor little things must be neglected indeed, or they would not have clung to a woman whom they had never seen before.” (This is a mistake; anybody who has the opportunity always clings to Salemina.) “The next morning they were up at daylight, romping in the hall, stamping, thumping, clattering, with a tin cart on wheels rattling behind them. I know it was not my affair, and I was guilty of unpardonable rudeness, but I called the nurse into my room and spoke to her severely. No, you needn’t smile; I was severe. ‘Will you kindly do your duty, and keep the children quiet as they pass through the halls?’ I said. ‘It is never too soon to teach them to obey the rules of a public place, and to be considerate of older people.’ She seemed awestruck. But when she found her tongue she stammered, ‘Sure, ma’am, I’ve tould thim three times this day already that when their father comes he’ll bate thim with a blackthorn stick!’

“Naturally I was horrified. This, I thought, would explain everything: no mother, and an irritable, cruel father.

“‘Will he really do such a thing?’ I asked, feeling as if I must know the truth.

“‘Sure he will not, ma’am!’ she answered cheerfully. ‘He wouldn’t lift a feather to thim, not if they murdthered the whole counthryside, ma’am.’

“Well, they travelled third class to Cork, and we came first, so we did not meet, and I did not ask their surnames; but it seems that they were being brought to their father, whom I met many years ago in America.”

As she did not volunteer any further information, we did not like to ask her where, how many years ago, or under what circumstances. ‘Teasing’ of this sort does not appeal to the sophisticated at any time, but it seems unspeakably vulgar to touch on matters of sentiment with a woman of middle age. If she has memories, they are sure to be sad and sacred ones; if she has not, that perhaps is still sadder. We agreed, however, when the evening was over, that Dr. La Touche was probably the love of her youth—unless, indeed, he was simply an old friend, and the degree of Salemina’s attachment had been exaggerated; something that is very likely to happen in the gossip of a New England town, where they always incline to underestimate the feeling of the man, and overrate that of the woman, in any love affair. ‘I guess she’d take him if she could get him’ is the spoken or unspoken attitude of the public in rural or provincial New England.

The professor is grave, but very genial when he fully recalls the fact that he is in company, and has not, like the Trappist monks, taken vows of silence. Francesca behaved beautifully, on the whole, and made no embarrassing speeches, although she was in her gayest humour. Salemina blushed a little when the young sinner dragged into the conversation the remark that, undoubtedly, from the beginning of the sixth century to the end of the eighth, Ireland was the University of Europe, just as Greece was in the late days of the Roman Republic, and asked our guest when Ireland ceased to be known as ‘Insula sanctorum et doctorum,’ the island of saints and scholars.

We had seen her go into Salemina’s bedroom, and knew perfectly well that she had consulted the Peabody notebook, lying open on the desk; but the professor looked as surprised as if he had heard a pretty paroquet quote Gibbon. I don’t like to see grave and reverend scholars stare at pretty paroquets, but I won’t belittle Salemina’s exquisite and peculiar charm by worrying over the matter.

‘Wirra, wirra! Ologone!
Can’t ye lave a lad alone,
Till he’s proved there’s no tradition left of any other girl—
Not even Trojan Helen,
In beauty all excellin’—
Who’s been up to half the divilment of Fan Fitzgerl?’

Of course Francesca’s heart is fixed upon Ronald Macdonald, but that fact has not altered the glance of her eyes. They no longer say, ‘Wouldn’t you like to fall in love with me, if you dared?’ but they still have a gleam that means, ‘Don’t fall in love with me; it is no use!’ And of the two, one is about as dangerous as the other, and each has something of ‘Fan Fitzgerl’s divilment.

‘Wid her brows of silky black
Arched above for the attack,
Her eyes they dart such azure death on poor admiring man;
Masther Cupid, point your arrows,
From this out, agin the sparrows,
For you’re bested at Love’s archery by young Miss Fan.’

Of course Himself never fell a prey to Francesca’s fascinations, but then he is not susceptible; you could send him off for a ten-mile drive in the moonlight with Venus herself, and not be in the least anxious.

Dr. La Touche is grey for his years, tall and spare in frame, and there are many lines of anxiety or thought in his forehead; but a wonderful smile occasionally smooths them all out, and gives his face a rare though transient radiance. He looks to me as if he had loved too many books and too few people; as if he had tried vainly to fill his heart and life with antiquities, which of all things, perhaps, are the most bloodless, the least warming and nourishing when taken in excess or as a steady diet. Himself (God bless him!) shall never have that patient look, if I can help it; but how it will appeal to Salemina! There are women who are born to be petted and served, and there are those who seem born to serve others. Salemina’s first idea is always to make tangled things smooth (like little Broona’s curly hair); to bring sweet and discreet order out of chaos; to prune and graft and water and weed and tend things, until they blossom for very shame under her healing touch. Her mind is catholic, well ordered, and broad,—for ever full of other people’s interests, never of her own: and her heart always seems to me like some dim, sweet-scented guest-chamber in an old New England mansion, cool and clean and quiet, and fragrant of lavender. It has been a lovely, generous life, lived for the most part in the shadow of other people’s wishes and plans and desires. I am an impatient person, I confess, and heaven seems so far away when certain things are in question: the righting of a child’s wrong, or the demolition of a barrier between two hearts; above all, for certain surgical operations, more or less spiritual, such as removing scales from eyes that refuse to see, and stops from ears too dull to hear. Nobody shall have our Salemina unless he is worthy, but how I should like to see her life enriched and crowned! How I should enjoy having her dear little overworn second fiddle taken from her by main force, and a beautiful first violin, or even the baton for leading an orchestra, put into her unselfish hands!

And so good-bye and ‘good luck to ye, Cork, and your pepper-box steeple,’ for we leave you to-morrow!

Chapter XI. ‘The rale thing.’

‘Her ancestors were kings before Moses was born,
Her mother descended from great Grana Uaile.’

Charles Lever.

Knockarney House, Lough Lein.

We are in the province of Munster, the kingdom of Kerry, the town of Ballyfuchsia, and the house of Mrs. Mullarkey. Knockarney House is not her name for it; I made it myself. Killarney is church of the sloe-trees; and as kill is church, the ‘onderhanded manin’’ of ‘arney’ must be something about sloes; then, since knock means hill, Knockarney should be hill of the sloe-trees.

I have not lost the memory of Jenny Geddes and Tam o’ the Cowgate, but Penelope O’Connor, daughter of the king of Connaught, is more frequently present in my dreams. I have by no means forgotten that there was a time when I was not Irish, but for the moment I am of the turf, turfy. Francesca is really as much in love with Ireland as I, only, since she has in her heart a certain tender string pulling her all the while to the land of the heather, she naturally avoids comparisons. Salemina, too, endeavours to appear neutral, lest she should betray an inexplicable interest in Dr. La Touche’s country. Benella and I alone are really free to speak the brogue, and carry our wild harps slung behind us, like Moore’s minstrel boy. Nothing but the ignorance of her national dishes keeps Benella from entire allegiance to this island; but she thinks a people who have grown up without a knowledge of doughnuts, baked beans, and blueberry-pie must be lacking in moral foundations. There is nothing extraordinary in all this; for the Irish, like the Celtic tribes everywhere, have always had a sort of fascinating power over people of other races settling among them, so that they become completely fused with the native population, and grow to be more Irish than the Irish themselves.

We stayed for a few days in the best hotel; it really was quite good, and not a bit Irish. There was a Swiss manager, an English housekeeper, a French head waiter, and a German office clerk. Even Salemina, who loves comforts, saw that we should not be getting what is known as the real thing, under these circumstances, and we came here to this—what shall I call Knockarney House? It was built originally for a fishing lodge by a sporting gentleman, who brought parties of friends to stop for a week. On his death is passed somehow into Mrs. Mullarkey’s fair hands, and in a fatal moment she determined to open it occasionally to ‘paying guests,’ who might wish a quiet home far from the madding crowd of the summer tourist. This was exactly what we did want, and here we encamped, on the half-hearted advice of some Irish friends in the town, who knew nothing else more comfortable to recommend.

“With us, small, quiet, or out-of-the-way places are never clean; or if they are, then they are not Irish,” they said. “You had better see Ireland from the tourist’s point of view for a few years yet, until we have learned the art of living; but if you are determined to know the humours of the people, cast all thought of comfort behind you.”

So we did, and we afterward thought that this would be a good motto for Mrs. Mullarkey to carve over the door of Knockarney House. (My name for it is adopted more or less by the family, though Francesca persists in dating her letters to Ronald from ‘The Rale Thing,’ which it undoubtedly is.) We take almost all the rooms in the house, but there are a few other guests. Mrs. Waterford, an old lady of ninety-three, from Mullinavat, is here primarily for her health, and secondarily to dispose of threepenny shares in an antique necklace, which is to be raffled for the benefit of a Roman Catholic chapel. Then we have a fishing gentleman and his bride from Glasgow, and occasional bicyclers who come in for a dinner, a tea, or a lodging. These three comforts of a home are sometimes quite indistinguishable with us: the tea is frequently made up of fragments of dinner, and the beds are always sprinkled with crumbs. Their source is a mystery, unless they fall from the clothing of the chambermaids, who frequently drop hairpins and brooches and buttons between the sheets, and strew whisk brooms and scissors under the blankets.

We have two general servants, who are supposed to do all the work of the house, and who are as amiable and obliging and incapable as they well can be. Oonah generally waits upon the table, and Molly cooks; at least she cooks now and then when she is not engaged with Peter in the vegetable garden or the stable. But whatever happens, Mrs. Mullarkey, as a descendant of one of the Irish kings, is to be looked upon only as an inspiring ideal, inciting one to high and ever higher flights of happy incapacity. Benella ostensibly oversees the care of our rooms, but she is comparatively helpless in such a kingdom of misrule. Why demand clean linen when there is none; why seek for a towel at midday when it is never ironed until evening; how sweep when a broom is all inadequate to the task? Salemina’s usual remark, on entering a humble hostelry anywhere, is: “If the hall is as dirty as this, what must the kitchen be! Order me two hard-boiled eggs, please!”

“Use your ‘science,’ Benella,” I say to that discouraged New England maiden, who has never looked at her philosophy from its practical or humorous side. “If the universe is pure mind and there is no matter, then this dirt is not a real thing, after all. It seems, of course, as if it were thicker under the beds and bureaus than elsewhere, but I suppose our evil thoughts focus themselves there rather than in the centre of the room. Similarly, if the broom handle is broken, deny the dirt away—denial is much less laborious than sweeping; bring ‘the science’ down to these simple details of everyday life, and you will make converts by dozens, only pray don’t remove, either by suggestion or any cruder method, the large key that lies near the table leg, for it is a landmark; and there is another, a crochet needle, by the washstand, devoted to the same purpose. I wish to show them to the Mullarkey when we leave.”

Under our educational regime, the ‘metaphysical’ veneer, badly applied in the first place, and wholly unsuited to the foundation material, is slowly disappearing, and our Benella is gradually returning to her normal self. Perhaps nothing has been more useful to her development than the confusion of Knockarney House.

Our windows are supported on decrepit tennis rackets and worn-out hearth brushes; the blinds refuse to go up or down; the chairs have weak backs or legs; the door knobs are disassociated from their handles. As for our food, we have bacon and eggs, with coffee made, I should think, of brown beans and liquorice, for breakfast; a bit of sloppy chicken, or fish and potato, with custard pudding or stewed rhubarb, for dinner; and a cold supper of—oh! anything that occurs to Molly at the last moment. Nothing ever occurs either to Molly or Oonah at any previous moment, and in that they are merely conforming to the universal habit. Last week, when we were starting for Valencia Island, the Ballyfuchsia stationmaster was absent at a funeral; meantime the engine had ‘gone cold on the engineer,’ and the train could not leave till twelve minutes after the usual time. We thought we must have consulted a wrong time-table, and asked confirmation of a man who seemed to have some connection with the railway. Goaded by his ignorance, I exclaimed, “Is it possible you don’t know the time the trains are going?”

“Begorra, how should I?” he answered. “Faix, the thrains don’t always be knowin’ thimselves!”

The starting of the daily ‘Mail Express’ from Ballyfuchsia is a time of great excitement and confusion, which on some occasions increases to positive panic. The stationmaster, armed with a large dinner-bell, stands on the platform, wearing an expression of anxiety ludicrously unsuited to the situation. The supreme moment had really arrived some time before, but he is waiting for Farmer Brodigan with his daughter Kathleen, and the Widdy Sullivan, and a few other local worthies who are a ‘thrifle late on him.’ Finally they come down the hill, and he paces up and down the station ringing the bell and uttering the warning cry, “This thrain never shtops! This thrain never shtops! This thrain never shtops!”—giving one the idea that eternity, instead of Killarney, must be the final destination of the passengers. The clock in the Ballyfuchsia telegraph and post office ceases to go for twenty-four hours at a time, and nobody heeds it, while the postman always has a few moments’ leisure to lay down his knapsack of letters and pitch quoits with the Royal Irish Constabulary. However, punctuality is perhaps an individual virtue more than an exclusively national one. I am not sure that we Americans would not be more agreeable if we spent a month in Ireland every year, and perhaps Ireland would profit from a month in America.

At the Brodigans’ (Mr. Brodigan is a large farmer, and our nearest neighbour) all the clocks are from ten to twenty minutes fast or slow; and what a peaceful place it is! The family doesn’t care when it has its dinner, and, mirabile dictu, the cook doesn’t care either!

“If you have no exact time to depend upon, how do you catch trains?” I asked Mr. Brodigan.

“Sure that’s not an everyday matter, and why be foostherin’ over it? But we do, four times out o’ five, ma’am!”

“How do you like it that fifth time when you miss it?”

“Sure it’s no more throuble to you to miss it the wan time than to hurry five times! A clock is an overrated piece of furniture, to my mind, Mrs. Beresford, ma’am. A man can ate whin he’s hungry, go to bed whin he’s sleepy, and get up whin he’s slept long enough; for faith and it’s thim clocks he has inside of himself that don’t need anny winding!”

“What if you had a business appointment with a man in the town, and missed the train?” I persevered.

“Trains is like misfortunes; they never come singly, ma’am. Wherever there’s a station the trains do be dhroppin’ in now and again, and what’s the differ which of thim you take?”

“The man who is waiting for you at the other end of the line may not agree with you,” I suggested.

“Sure, a man can always amuse himself in a town, ma’am. If it’s your own business you’re coming on, he knows you’ll find him; and if it’s his business, then begorra let him find you!” Which quite reminded me of what the Irish elf says to the English elf in Moira O’Neill’s fairy story: “A waste of time? Why, you’ve come to a country where there’s no such thing as a waste of time. We have no value for time here. There is lashings of it, more than anybody knows what to do with.”

I suppose there is somewhere a golden mean between this complete oblivion of time and our feverish American hurry. There is a ‘tedious haste’ in all people who make wheels and pistons and engines, and live within sound of their everlasting buzz and whir and revolution; and there is ever a disposition to pause, rest, and consider on the part of that man whose daily tasks are done in serene collaboration with dew and rain and sun. One cannot hurry Mother Nature very much, after all, and one who has much to do with her falls into a peaceful habit of mind. The mottoes of the two nations are as well rendered in the vernacular as by any formal or stilted phrases. In Ireland the spoken or unspoken slogan is, ‘Take it aisy’; in America, ‘Keep up with the procession’; and between them lie all the thousand differences of race, climate, temperament, religion, and government.

I don’t suppose there is a nation on the earth better developed on what might be called the train-catching side than we of the Big Country, and it is well for us that there is born every now and again among us a dreamer who is (blessedly) oblivious of time-tables and market reports; who has been thinking of the rustling of the corn, not of its price. It is he, if we do not hurry him out of his dream, who will sound the ideal note in our hurly-burly and bustle of affairs. He may never discover a town site, but he will create new worlds for us to live in, and in the course of a century the coming Matthew Arnold will not be minded to call us an unimaginative and uninteresting people.