The Brown Mouse

“And I don’t see,” said she, “anything to laugh at when the young girls do the best they can to make themselves capable housekeepers. I’d like to help them.” She turned to Mrs. Bonner as if to add “If this be treason, make the most of it!” but that lady was far too good a diplomat to be cornered in the same enclosure with a rupture of relations.

“And quite right, too,” said she, “in the proper place, and at the proper time. The little things ought to be helped by every real woman – of course!”

“Of course,” repeated Mrs. Bronson.

“At home, now, and by their mothers,” added Mrs. Bonner.

“Well,” said Mrs. Bronson, “take them Simms girls, now. They have to have help outside their home if they are ever going to be like other folks.”

“Yes,” agreed Mrs. Bonner, “and a lot more help than a farm-hand can give ’em in school. Pretty poor trash, they, and I shouldn’t wonder if there was a lot we don’t know about why they come north.”

“As for that,” replied Mrs. Bronson, “I don’t know as it’s any of my business so long as they behave themselves.”

Again Mrs. Bonner felt the situation getting out of hand, and again she returned to the task of keeping Mrs. Bronson in alignment with the forces of accepted Woodruff District conditions.

“Ain’t it some of our business?” she queried. “I wonder now! By the way Newtie keeps his eye on that Simms girl, I shouldn’t wonder if it might turn out your business.”

“Pshaw!” scoffed Mrs. Bronson. “Puppy love!”

“You can’t tell how far it’ll go,” persisted Mrs. Bonner. “I tell you these schools are getting to be nothing more than sparkin’ bees, from the county superintendent down.”

“Well, maybe,” said Mrs. Bronson, “but I don’t see sparkin’ in everything boys and girls do as quick as some.”

“I wonder,” said Mrs. Bonner, “if Colonel Woodruff would be as friendly to Jim Irwin if he knew that everybody says Jennie decided he was to keep his certif’kit because she wants him to get along in the world, so he can marry her?”

“I don’t know as she is so very friendly to him,” replied Mrs. Bronson; “and Jim and Jennie are both of age, you know.”

“Yes, but how about our schools bein’ ruined by a love affair?” interrogated Mrs. Bonner, as they moved away. “Ain’t that your business and mine?”

Instead of desiring further knowledge of what they were discussing, Jim felt a dreadful disgust at the whole thing. Disgust at being the subject of gossip, at the horrible falsity of the picture he had been able to paint to the people of his objects and his ambitions, and especially at the desecration of Jennie by such misconstruction of her attitude toward him officially and personally. Jennie was vexed at him, and wanted him to resign from his position. He firmly believed that she was surprised at finding herself convinced that he was entitled to a decision in the matter of his competency as a teacher. She was against him, he believed, and as for her being in love with him – to hear these women discuss it was intolerable.

He felt his face redden as at the hearing of some horrible indecency. He felt himself stripped naked, and he was hotly ashamed that Jennie should be associated with him in the exposure. And while he was raging inwardly, paying the penalty of his new-found place in the public eye – a publicity to which he was not yet hardened – he heard other voices. Professor Withers, County Superintendent Jennie and Colonel Woodruff were making an inspection of the rural-school exhibit.

“I hear he has been having some trouble with his school board,” the professor was saying.

“Yes,” said Jennie, “he has.”

“Wasn’t there an effort made to remove him from his position?” asked the professor.

“Proceedings before me to revoke his certificate,” replied Jennie.

“On what grounds?”

“Incompetency,” answered Jennie. “I found that his pupils were really doing very well in the regular course of study – which he seems to be neglecting.”

“I’m glad you supported him,” said the professor. “I’m glad to find you helping him.” “Really,” protested Jennie, “I don’t think myself – ”

“What do you think of his notions?” asked the colonel.

“Very advanced,” replied Professor Withers. “Where did he imbibe them all?”

“He’s a Brown Mouse,” said the colonel.

“I beg your pardon,” said the puzzled professor. “I didn’t quite understand. A – a – what?”

“One of papa’s breeding jokes,” said Jennie. “He means a phenomenon in heredity – perhaps a genius, you know.”

“Ah, I see,” replied the professor, “a Mendelian segregation, you mean?”

“Certainly,” said the colonel. “The sort of mind that imbibes things from itself.”

“Well, he’s rather wonderful,” declared the professor. “I had him to lunch to-day. He surprised me. I have invited him to make an address at Ames next winter during farmers’ week.”

“He?”

Jennie’s tone showed her astonishment. Jim the underling. Jim the off ox. Jim the thorn in the county superintendent’s side. Jim the country teacher! It was stupefying.

“Oh, you musn’t judge him by his looks,” said the professor. “I really do hope he’ll take some advice on the matter of clothes – put on a cravat and a different shirt and collar when he comes to Ames – but I have no doubt he will.”

“He hasn’t any other,” said the colonel.

“Well, it won’t signify, if he has the truth to tell us,” said the professor.

“Has he?” asked Jennie.

“Miss Woodruff,” replied the professor earnestly, “he has something that looks toward truth, and something that we need. Just how far he will go, just what he will amount to, it is impossible to say. But something must be done for the rural schools – something along the lines he is trying to follow. He is a struggling soul, and he is worth helping. You won’t make any mistake if you make the most of Mr. Irwin.”

Jim slipped out of a side door and fled. As in the case of the conversation between Mrs. Bronson and Mrs. Bonner, he was unable to discern the favorable auspices in the showing of adverse things. He had not sensed Mrs. Bronson’s half-concealed friendliness for him, though it was disagreeably plain to Mrs. Bonner. And now he neglected the colonel’s evident support of him, and Professor Withers’ praise, in Jennie’s manifest surprise that old Jim had been accorded the recognition of a place on a college program, and the professor’s criticism of his dress and general appearance.

It was unjust! What chance had he been given to discover what it was fashionable to wear, even if he had had the money to buy such clothes as other young men possessed? He would never go near Ames! He would stay in the Woodruff District where the people knew him, and some of them liked him. He would finish his school year, and go back to work on the farm. He would abandon the struggle.

He started home, on foot as he had come, A mile or so out he was overtaken by the colonel, driving briskly along with room in his buggy for Jim.

“Climb in, Jim!” said he. “Dan and Dolly didn’t like to see you walk.”

“They’re looking fine,” said Jim.

There is a good deal to say whenever two horse lovers get together. Hoofs and coats and frogs and eyes and teeth and the queer sympathies between horse and man may sometimes quite take the place of the weather for an hour or so. But when Jim had alighted at his own door, the colonel spoke of what had been in his mind all the time.

“I saw Bonner and Haakon and Ez doing some caucusing to-day,” said he. “They expect to elect Bonner to the board again.”

“Oh, I suppose so,” replied Jim.

“Well, what shall we do about it?” asked the colonel.

“If the people want him – ” began Jim.

“The people,” said the colonel, “must have a choice offered to ’em, or how can you or any man tell what they want? How can they tell themselves?”

Jim was silent. Here was a matter on which he really had no ideas except the broad and general one that truth is mighty and shall prevail – but that the speed of its forward march is problematical.

“I think,” said the colonel, “that it’s up to us to see that the people have a chance to decide. It’s really Bonner against Jim Irwin.”

“That’s rather startling,” said Jim, “but I suppose it’s true. And much chance Jim Irwin has!”

“I calculate,” rejoined the colonel, “that what you need is a champion.”

“To do what?”

“To take that office away from Bonner.”

“Who can do that?”

“Well, I’m free to say I don’t know that any one can, but I’m willing to try. I think that in about a week I shall pass the word around that I’d like to serve my country on the school board.”

Jim’s face lighted up – and then darkened.

“Even then they’d be two to one, Colonel.”

“Maybe,” replied the colonel, “and maybe not. That would have to be figured on. A cracked log splits easy.”

“Anyhow,” Jim went on, “what’s the use? I shan’t be disturbed this year – and after that – what’s the use?”

“Why, Jim,” said the colonel, “you aren’t getting short of breath are you? Do I see frost on your boots? I thought you good for the mile, and you aren’t turning out a quarter horse, are you? I don’t know what all it is you want to do, but I don’t, believe you can do it in nine months, can you?”

“Not in nine years!” replied Jim.

“Well, then, let’s plan for ten years,” said the colonel. “I ain’t going to become a reformer at my time of life as a temporary job. Will you stick if we can swing the thing for you?”

“I will,” said Jim, in the manner of a person taking the vows in some solemn initiation.

“All right,” said the colonel. “We’ll keep quiet and see how many votes we can muster up at the election. How many can you speak for?”

Jim gave himself for a few minutes to thought. It was a new thing to him, this matter of mustering votes – and a thing which he had always looked upon as rather reprehensible. The citizen should go forth with no coercion, no persuasion, no suggestion, and vote his sentiments.

“How many can you round up?” persisted the colonel.

“I think,” said Jim, “that I can speak for myself and Old Man Simms!”

The colonel laughed.

“Fine politician!” he repeated. “Fine politician! Well, Jim, we may get beaten in this, but if we are, let’s not have them going away picking their noses and saying they’ve had no fight. You round up yourself and Old Man Simms and I’ll see what I can do – I’ll see what I can do!”

CHAPTER XV
A MINOR CASTS HALF A VOTE

March came in like neither a lion nor a lamb, but was scarcely a week old before the wild ducks had begun to score the sky above Bronson’s Slew looking for open water and badly-harvested corn-fields. Wild geese, too, honked from on high as if in wonder that these great prairies on which their forefathers had been wont fearlessly to alight had been changed into a disgusting expanse of farms. If geese are favored with the long lives in which fable bids us believe, some of these venerable honkers must have seen every vernal and autumnal phase of the transformation from boundless prairie to boundless corn-land. I sometimes seem to hear in the bewildering trumpetings of wild geese a cry of surprise and protest at the ruin of their former paradise. Colonel Woodruff’s hired man, Pete, had no such foolish notions, however. He stopped Newton Bronson and Raymond Simms as they tramped across the colonel’s pasture, gun in hand, trying to make themselves believe that the shooting was good.

“This ain’t no country to hunt in,” said he. “Did either of you fellows ever have any real duck-shooting?”

“The mountings,” said Raymond, “air poor places for ducks.”

“Not big enough water,” suggested Pete. “Some wood-ducks, I suppose?”

“Along the creeks and rivers, yes seh,” said Raymond, “and sometimes a flock of wild geese would get lost, and some bewildered, and a man would shoot one or two – from the tops of the ridges – but nothing to depend on.”

“I’ve never been nowhere,” said Newton, “except once to Minnesota – and – and that wasn’t in the shooting season.”

A year ago Newton would have boasted of having “bummed” his way to Faribault. His hesitant speech was a proof of the embarrassment his new respectability sometimes inflicted upon him.

“I used to shoot ducks for the market at Spirit Lake,” said Pete. “I know Fred Gilbert just as well as I know you. If I’d ’a’ kep’ on shooting I could have made my millions as champion wing shot as easy as he has. He didn’t have nothing on me when we was both shooting for a livin’. But that’s all over, now. You’ve got to go so fur now to get decent shooting where the farmers won’t drive you off, that it costs nine dollars to send a postcard home.”

“I think we’ll have fine shooting on the slew in a few days,” said Newton.

“Humph!” scoffed Pete. “I give you my word, if I hadn’t promised the colonel I’d stay with him another year, I’d take a side-door Pullman for the Sand Hills of Nebraska or the Devil’s Lake country to-morrow – if I had a gun.”

“If it wasn’t for a passel of things that keep me hyeh,” said Raymond, “I’d like to go too.”

“The colonel,” said Pete, “needs me. He needs me in the election to-morrow. What’s the matter of your ol’ man, Newt? What for does he vote for that Bonner, and throw down an old neighbor?”

“I can’t do anything with him!” exclaimed Newton irritably. “He’s all tangled up with Peterson and Bonner.”

“Well,” said Pete, “if he’d just stay at home, it would help some. If he votes for Bonner, it’ll be just about a stand-off.”

“He never misses a vote!” said Newton despairingly.

“Can’t you cripple him someway?” asked Pete jocularly. “Darned funny when a boy o’ your age can’t control his father’s vote! So long!”

“I wish I could vote!” grumbled Newton. “I wish I could! We know a lot more about the school, and Jim Irwin bein’ a good teacher than dad does – and we can’t vote. Why can’t folks vote when they are interested in an election, and know about the issues. It’s tyranny that you and I can’t vote.”

“I reckon,” said Raymond, the conservative, “that the old-time people that fixed it thataway knowed best.”

“Rats!” sneered Newton, the iconoclast. “Why, Calista knows more about the election of school director than dad knows.”

“That don’t seem reasonable,” protested Raymond. “She’s prejudyced, I reckon, in favor of Mr. Jim Irwin.”

“Well, dad’s prejudiced against him, – er, no, he hain’t either. He likes Jim. He’s just prejudiced against giving up his old notions. No, he hain’t neither – I guess he’s only prejudiced against seeming to give up some old notions he seemed to have once! And the kids in school would be prejudiced right, anyhow!”

“Paw says he’ll be on hand prompt,” said Raymond. “But he had to be p’swaded right much. Paw’s proud – and he cain’t read.”

“Sometimes I think the more people read the less sense they’ve got,” said Newton. “I wish I could tie dad up! I wish I could get snakebit, and make him go for the doctor!”

The boys crossed the ridge to the wooded valley in which nestled the Simms cabin. They found Mrs. Simms greatly exercised in her mind because young McGeehee had been found playing with some blue vitriol used by Raymond in his school work on the treatment of seed potatoes for scab.

“His hands was all blue with it,” said she. “Do you reckon, Mr. Newton, that it’ll pizen him?”

“Did he swallow any of it?” asked Newton.

“Nah!” said McGeehee scornfully.

Newton reassured Mrs. Simms, and went away pensive. He was in rebellion against the strange ways grown men have of discharging their duties as citizens – a rather remarkable thing, and perhaps a proof that Jim Irwin’s methods had already accomplished much in preparing Newton and Raymond for citizenship. He had shown them the fact that voting really has some relation to life. At present, however, the new wine in the old bottles was causing Newton to forget his filial duty, and his respect for his father. He wished he could lock him up in the barn so he couldn’t go to the school election. He wished he could become ill – or poisoned with blue vitriol or something – so his father would be obliged to go for a doctor. He wished – well, why couldn’t he get sick. Mrs. Simms had been about to send for the doctor for Buddy when he had explained away the apparent necessity. People got dreadfully scared about poison – Newton mended his pace, and looked happier. He looked very much as he had done on the day he adjusted the needle-pointed muzzle to his dog’s nose. He looked, in fact, more like a person filled with deviltry, than one yearning for the right to vote.

“I’ll fix him!” said he to himself.

“What time’s the election, Ez?” asked Mrs. Bronson at breakfast.

“I’m goin’ at four o’clock,” said Ezra. “And I don’t want to hear any more from any one” – looking at Newton – “about the election. It’s none of the business of the women an’ boys.”

Newton took this reproof in an unexpectedly submissive spirit. In fact, he exhibited his very best side to the family that morning, like one going on a long journey, or about to be married off, or engaged in some deep dark plot.

“I s’pose you’re off trampin’ the slews at the sight of a flock of ducks four miles off as usual?” stated Mr. Bronson challengingly.

“I thought,” said Newton, “that I’d get a lot of raisin bait ready for the pocket-gophers in the lower meadow. They’ll be throwing up their mounds by the first of April.”

“Not them,” said Mr. Bronson, somewhat mollified, “not before May. Where’d you get the raisin idee?”

“We learned it in school,” answered Newton. “Jim had me study a bulletin on the control and eradication of pocket-gophers. You use raisins with strychnine in ’em – and it tells how.”

“Some fool notion, I s’pose,” said Mr. Bronson, rising. “But go ahead if you’re careful about handlin’ the strychnine.”

Newton spent the time from twelve-thirty to half after two in watching the clock; and twenty minutes to three found him seated in the woodshed with a pen-knife in his hand, a small vial of strychnine crystals on a stand before him, a saucer of raisins at his right hand, and one exactly like it, partially filled with gopher bait – by which is meant raisins under the skin of each of which a minute crystal of strychnine had been inserted on the point of the knife. Newton was apparently happy and was whistling The Glow-Worm. It was a lovely scene if one can forget the gopher’s point of view.

At three-thirty, Newton went into the house and lay down on the horsehair sofa, saying to his mother that he felt kind o’ funny and thought he’d lie down a while. At three-forty he heard his father’s voice in the kitchen and knew that his sire was preparing to start for the scene of battle between Colonel Woodruff and Con Bonner, on the result of which hinged the future of Jim Irwin and the Woodruff school.

A groan issued from Newton’s lips – a gruesome groan as of the painful death of a person very sensitive to physical suffering. But his father’s voice from the kitchen door betrayed no agitation. He was scolding the horses as they stood tied to the hitching-post, in tones that showed no knowledge of his son’s distressed moans.

“What’s the matter?”

It was Newton’s little sister who asked the question, her facial expression evincing appreciation of Newton’s efforts in the line of groans, somewhat touched with awe. Even though regarded as a pure matter of make-believe, such sounds were terrible.

“Oh, sister, sister!” howled Newton, “run and tell ’em that brother’s dying!”

Fanny disappeared in a manner which expressed her balanced feelings – she felt that her brother was making believe, but she believed for all that, that something awful was the matter. So she went rather slowly to the kitchen door, and casually remarked that Newton was dying on the sofa in the sitting-room.

“You little fraud!” said her father.

“Why, Fanny!” said her mother – and ran into the sitting-room – whence in a moment, with a cry that was almost a scream, she summoned her husband, who responded at the top of his speed.

Newton was groaning and in convulsions. Horrible grimaces contorted his face, his jaws were set, his arms and legs drawn up, and his muscles tense.

“What’s the matter?” His father’s voice was stern as well as full of anxiety. “What’s the matter, boy?”

“Oh!” cried Newton. “Oh! Oh! Oh!”

“Newtie, Newtie!” cried his mother, “where are you in pain? Tell mother, Newtie!”

“Oh,” groaned Newtie, relaxing, “I feel awful!”

“What you been eating?” interrogated his father.

“Nothing,” replied Newton.

“I saw you eatin’ dinner,” said his father.

Again Newton was convulsed by strong spasms, and again his groans filled the hearts of his parents with terror.

“That’s all I’ve eaten,” said he, when his spasms had passed, “except a few raisins. I was putting strychnine in ’em – ”

“Oh, heavens!” cried his mother. “He’s poisoned! Drive for the doctor, Ezra! Drive!”

Mr. Bronson forgot all about the election – forgot everything save antidotes and speed. He leaped toward the door. As he passed out, he shouted “Give him an emetic!” He tore the hitching straps from the posts, jumped into the buggy and headed for the road. Skilfully avoiding an overturn as he rounded into the highway, he gave the spirited horses their heads, and fled toward town, carefully computing the speed the horses could make and still be able to return. Mile after mile he covered, passing teams, keeping ahead of automobiles and advertising panic. Just at the town limits, he met the doctor in Sheriff Dilly’s automobile, the sheriff himself at the steering wheel. Mr. Bronson signaled them to stop, ignoring the fact that they were making similar signs to him.

“We’re just starting for your place,” said the doctor. “Your wife got me on the phone.”

“Thank God!” replied Bronson. “Don’t fool any time away on me. Drive!”

“Get in here, Ez,” said the sheriff. “Doc knows how to drive, and I’ll come on with your team. They need a slow drive to cool ’em off.”

“Why didn’t you phone me?” asked the doctor.

“Never thought of it,” replied Bronson. “I hain’t had the phone only a few years. Drive faster!”

“I want to get there, or I would,” answered the doctor. “Don’t worry. From what your wife told me over the phone I don’t believe the boy’s eaten any more strychnine than I have – and probably not so much.”

“He was alive, then?”

“Alive and making an argument against taking the emetic,” replied the doctor. “But I guess she got it down him.”

“I’d hate to lose that boy, Doc!”

“I don’t believe there’s any danger. It doesn’t sound like a genuine poisoning case to me.”

Thus reassured, Mr. Bronson was calm, even if somewhat tragic in calmness, when he entered the death chamber with the doctor. Newton was sitting up, his eyes wet, and his face pale. His mother had won the argument, and Newton had lost his dinner. Haakon Peterson occupied an armchair.

“What’s all this?” asked the doctor. “How you feeling, Newt? Any pain?”

“I’m all right,” said Newton. “Don’t give me any more o’ that nasty stuff!”

“No,” said the doctor, “but if you don’t tell me just what you’ve been eating, and doing, and pulling off on us, I’ll use this” – and the doctor exhibited a huge stomach pump.

“What’ll you do with that?” asked Newton faintly.

“I’ll put this down into your hold, and unload you, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Is the election over, Mr. Peterson?” asked Newton.

“Yes,” answered Mr. Peterson, “and the votes counted.”

“Who’s elected?” asked Newton.

“Colonel Woodruff,” answered Mr. Peterson. “The vote was twelve to eleven.”

“Well, dad,” said Newton, “I s’pose you’ll be sore, but the only way I could see to get in half a vote for Colonel Woodruff was to get poisoned and send you after the doctor. If you’d gone, it would ’a’ been a tie, anyhow, and probably you’d ’a’ persuaded somebody to change to Bonner. That’s what’s the matter with me. I killed your vote. Now, you can do whatever you like to me – but I’m sorry I scared mother.”

Ezra Bronson seized Newton by the throat, but his fingers failed to close. “Don’t pinch, dad,” said Newton. “I’ve been using that neck an’ it’s tired.” Mr. Bronson dropped his hands to his sides, glared at his son for a moment and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Why, you darned infernal little fool,” said he. “I’ve a notion to take a hamestrap to you! If I’d been there the vote would have been eleven to thirteen!”

“There was plenty wotes there for the colonel, if he needed ’em,” said Haakon, whose politician’s mind was already fully adjusted to the changed conditions. “Ay tank the Woodruff District will have a junanimous school board from dis time on once more. Colonel Woodruff is yust the man we have needed.”

“I’m with you there,” said Bronson. “And as for you, young man, if one or both of them horses is hurt by the run I give them, I’ll lick you within an inch of your life – Here comes Dilly driving ’em in now – I guess they’re all right. I wouldn’t want to drive a good team to death for any young hoodlum like him – All right, how much do I owe you. Doc?”