The Perfect Lover

This was what she had ached for...

She had been so hungry for him to kiss her like this, she acknowledged dizzily, as his mouth started to move over hers. She adjusted her body to get closer to him and felt him shift his weight to accommodate her.

Against his mouth she cried his name.... “Saul. Saul...Saul....”

Abruptly Louise found herself being set free, pushed away from the intimacy of the male body her own craved so badly. Only his hands still held her.

“Open your eyes, Louise,” she heard a harsh and shockingly familiar male voice demanding bitingly. “I am not your precious Saul, whoever he might be....”

PENNY JORDAN is one of Mills & Boon’s most popular authors. Sadly Penny died from cancer on 31st December 2011, aged sixty-five. She leaves an outstanding legacy, having sold over a hundred million books around the world. She wrote a total of a hundred and eighty-seven novels for Mills & Boon, including the phenomenally successful A Perfect Family, To Love, Honour & Betray, The Perfect Sinner and Power Play, which hit the Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller lists. Loved for her distinctive voice, her success was in part because she continually broke boundaries and evolved her writing to keep up with readers’ changing tastes. Publishers Weekly said about Jordan, ‘Women everywhere will find pieces of themselves in Jordan’s characters’ and this perhaps explains her enduring appeal.

Although Penny was born in Preston, Lancashire, and spent her childhood there, she moved to Cheshire as a teenager and continued to live there for the rest of her life. Following the death of her husband she moved to the small traditional Cheshire market town on which she based her much-loved Crighton books.

Penny was a member and supporter of the Romantic Novelists’ Association and the Romance Writers of America—two organisations dedicated to providing support for both published and yet-to-be published authors. Her significant contribution to women’s fiction was recognised in 2011, when the Romantic Novelists’ Association presented Penny with a Lifetime Achievement Award.

The Crightons

A Perfect Family

The Perfect Seduction

Perfect Marriage Material

Figgy Pudding

The Perfect Lover

The Perfect Sinner

The Perfect Father

A Perfect Night

Coming Home

Starting Over

The Perfect Lover

Penny Jordan

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Table of Contents

Cover Excerpt About the Author The Crightons Title Page CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

‘MY GOODNESS, we are honoured, aren’t we? It isn’t very often these days that you manage to tear yourself away from the bureaucratic delights of Brussels.’

Louise tensed as she heard the sarcastic voice of her elder brother, Max. They had never got on particularly well, even as children, and in her view maturity had done nothing to improve either their relationship or her brother.

‘It was commented at Christmas that you weren’t around,’ Max continued jibingly. ‘But, of course, we all know Saul was really the reason for that, don’t we?’

Louise gave him an angry look before retorting, ‘Perhaps if you spent more time thinking about your own relationships and less talking about other people’s you might learn something genuinely worthwhile, but then you never were much good at appreciating what’s really of value in this life, were you, Max?’

Without giving him any opportunity to retaliate, Louise turned on her heel and walked quickly away from him.

She had promised herself that on this, her first visit home since she had started working in Brussels over twelve months ago, she would prove to her family just how much she had changed...matured...and just how different, distant almost, she was from the girl who...

Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of Saul, her father’s cousin, who was standing with his wife, Tullah, and the three children from his first marriage. Tullah had her arm around Megan, Saul’s daughter, while Saul held the little boy they had had together.

The large drawing room of her grandfather’s house seemed to be filled by the presence of her peers, proudly showing off their growing families.

Clustered around the fireplace were her cousin Olivia, with her husband and their two children, talking animatedly with Luke, from the Chester branch of the family, and his American wife Bobbie and their little girl, while Maddy, her brother Max’s wife, kept a discreet eye on Gramps, who was becoming increasingly irascible.

According to her mother, Maddy was close to a saint for humouring him the way she did. When Jenny Crighton had made this comment this morning, over breakfast, Louise had immediately pointed out that if Maddy could put up with being married to Max, then her grandfather must come as a form of light relief.

‘Louise,’ her mother had protested, but Louise had remained unrepentant

It was no secret in the family that Max was not a good or kind husband to Maddy, and privately Louise couldn’t understand why on earth Maddy stayed with him.

‘You’re looking very cross.’

Louise grimaced as she saw her twin sister. Twins were a feature of the Crighton family, in the same way that poppies were a feature of a field of corn—they sprang up all over the place, although as yet there were no sets in the current new generation.

‘They’ll come,’ her father’s aunt Ruth had predicted.

‘I’ve just been receiving the benefit of Max’s brotherly conversation,’ Louise informed her grimly. ‘He doesn’t change...’

‘No...’ Katie looked at her twin. ‘You know, in a lot of ways I feel quite sorry for him. He—’

‘Sorry for Max?’ Louise exploded. ‘What on earth for? He’s got everything he’s ever wanted—a cushy place in one of the country’s leading sets of chambers, with his pick of all the best briefs—and all he’s had to do to get it is to persuade poor Maddy to marry him.’

‘Yes, I know what he’s got in the material sense, Lou, but is he happy?’ Katie persisted. ‘I think he feels what happened with Uncle David far, far more than he’s ever shown. After all, they—’

‘They were both made in the same mould. Yes, I know,’ Louise cut in. ‘If you want my opinion, it would be a good thing for this family if Uncle David never surfaced again. Olivia as good as told me that her father had been guilty of serious malpractice when he and Dad were partners, and that if he hadn’t disappeared when he did...’

Both of them were silent for a moment as they remembered David Crighton, their father’s twin brother and Olivia’s father, and the near disaster he had plunged the family into prior to his disappearance some years earlier.

‘That’s all in the past now,’ Katie reminded her gently. ‘Dad and Olivia have managed to sort out all the problems they had been having with the practice—and in fact they’ve built up the business so much that they’ve decided they need to think about taking on an extra qualified solicitor to cope with the increased workload. But Gramps still misses David, you know. He was always—’

‘The favourite. Yes, I know. Poor Gramps. He never has had very good judgement, has he? First he makes David the favourite, ahead of Dad, and now it’s Max.’

‘Mum’s really glad that you were able to make it home for Gramps’s birthday,’ Katie told her sister quietly. ‘She was...upset at Christmas when you didn’t come home...’

‘When I couldn’t come home,’ Louise corrected her sharply. ‘I told you at the time. My boss put me under pressure to put together a report on the legal aspects of a new community law she thought might be passed, and I had no option but to agree. It wouldn’t have been worth coming home for what would have amounted to just about forty-eight hours, even if I could have got the flights.’

Three months after leaving university, and not wanting to take the next stage in her training to become a barrister immediately, Louise had taken a temporary post working for a newly appointed Euro MP who’d wanted someone to work for her as a legal researcher.

Six months ago the temporary post had become a permanent one, and while the hours were long and the work extraordinarily demanding, Louise had thrown herself into it with determination, knowing that the contacts she was making in Brussels would ultimately equip her to make a change of career should she want to do so.

Their choice of careers couldn’t have been more different, Katie acknowledged as she silently and sympathetically studied her twin. While Louise, true to her nature, had chosen to fling herself head-first into the maelstrom of politics and intrigues in the hothouse melting-pot atmosphere of Europe’s bureaucratic capital, she had opted to join a still very youthful and emergent new charity which had been set up to help young children across the world who had been made orphans and refugees by war.

‘Have you spoken to Saul and Tullah yet?’ Kate asked her sister softly.

Louise reacted sharply to her question, tensing and almost physically backing off from her as she replied angrily, ‘No, I haven’t...Why should I? For God’s sake, when is everyone in this wretched family going to stop behaving as though...?’ She stopped, and took a deep breath.

‘Look, for the last time, Saul means nothing to me now. I had a silly, stupid crush on him, yes. I made a total and complete fool of myself over him, yes. But...’ She stopped again, and shook her head.

‘It’s over, Katie. Over.’

‘Mum thought when you didn’t come home at Christmas—’ Katie began.

Louise wouldn’t let her finish, breaking in bitterly, ‘That what? That I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Saul? Or, worse, that I might—’

‘She thought that perhaps you’d met someone in Brussels.’ Katie overrode her with quiet insistence. ‘And that you weren’t coming home because you wanted to be with him...’

Interestingly, a soft tide of warm colour started to tinge her sister’s skin, and, even more interestingly, for once in her life she seemed almost lost for words as she turned her head and looked down at the carpet before saying quickly, ‘No. No, there isn’t anyone... at least not like that. I...’

It wasn’t totally true—there was someone, of sorts—but she knew perfectly well that the relationship Jean Claude wanted with her was one based on sex only.

Jean Claude was twelve years older than her, and moved in the higher echelons of Brussels’ diplomatic circles. He was, as he himself had told Louise, a career diplomat, who currently held a post connected with the French fishing industry.

Louise wasn’t quite sure as yet how she felt about him. He had a suave, dry sense of humour, and the kind of Gallic good looks that fell just short enough of outrageously handsome to ensure that he was very attractive to the female sex. Politics and the law, as Jean Claude had already teasingly commented to her, could make very exciting bedfellows.

‘Brazen, I think you mean,’ Louise had corrected him firmly.

‘Be careful if you’re looking for commitment,’ a colleague had already warned Louise. ‘He’s got a reputation for liking variety.’

Louise had shrugged away the other woman’s comments. Commitment was the last thing on her mind at the moment, and would be for a very long time to come. She might be over Saul in the sense that she was no longer suffering from the massive crush which had caused her to make such an idiotic fool of herself, but she was certainly far from over the feelings of humiliation and searing self-disgust—self-dislike—which had resulted from the sharp realisation of just how dangerously and potentially destructively out of control her feelings for Saul had threatened to become.

She would certainly never make that mistake again. Never allow herself to become such a victim, such a slave to her emotions ever again—she didn’t really understand how it had happened in the first place. Right from her early teens she had set her sights firmly on aiming for a career. Marriage, babies, emotions, although she’d once have openly welcomed them with Saul, were more Katie’s forte than her own. The terrifying force of her feelings for Saul had been an abberation, and the behaviour they had resulted in so totally abhorrent and repugnant to her that even now, nearly three years later, she could scarcely bear to think about it.

Yes, it was possible now for her to look at Saul with Tullah and the children without suffering even the smallest flicker of the emotion which had torn her apart and threatened every aspect of her normal life during those months when it had held its strangulating, choking grip on her life. But what wasn’t possible, what she suspected might never be possible, was for her to forget just how traumatic that time, those feelings had been.

Louise frowned, her thoughts switching from the past to the present as she recognised the suspiciously furtive way her younger brother Joss and their cousin Jack were edging their way towards the French windows.

Discreetly following them, she waited until Joss was on the point of unlatching the door before demanding sternly, ‘And just where do the pair of you think you are going?’

‘Lou...’

Considerably startled, her brother released his hold on the door handle and spun round to face her.

‘We were just going down to the greenhouse,’ Jack told her with virtuous innocence. ‘Aunt Ruth is growing some special seeds there and...’

‘The greenhouse?’ Louise questioned loftily. ‘This compelling expedition to view Aunt Ruth’s seedlings wouldn’t have been taken via the TV room, would it?’

The look of contrived injured innocence her brother gave her made Louise’s lips twitch slightly, but Jack wasn’t quite such a good actor, and his fair skin was already starting to flush with guilt. Both boys were ardent rugby fans, and Louise had overheard them pleading with her mother, without success, earlier in the day to be allowed to sneak away from the family party in order to watch their favourite game.

‘The All Blacks are playing,’ Joss told her pleadingly.

‘You’ll be all black, or rather your good behaviour record will be, if Mum catches on to what you’re up to,’ Louise warned him.

‘If we go now, we can just about catch the last half,’ Joss told her winningly. ‘And Mum won’t even notice. We’ll be back before she knows we’re gone.’

‘I don’t think...’ Louise began, but Joss was already reaching up to give her a fervent hug.

‘Thanks Lou, you’re the best,’ he announced. ‘And if Mum should ask...’

Louise shook her head firmly.

‘Oh, no...don’t drag me in. If you get found out, you’re on your own, the pair of you.’ But she was smiling affectionately as she returned her brother’s warm hug. After all, it wasn’t such a very long time ago that she herself had found such family gatherings rather dull, and had, like Joss and Jack, made her escape from them just as quickly as she could.

‘Bet you wish you could come with us,’ Joss whispered to her with an engaging grin before quickly sliding through the French window.

‘To watch the All Blacks? No, thanks,’ Louise retorted with a small female shudder, but she was smiling as she discreetly closed the French windows behind the two boys.

On the other side of the room Tullah, who had been watching the scene, touched Saul on the arm.

As he turned to look at her she took their son out of his arms and told him, ‘I’m just going to have a word with Louise.’

Frowning slightly, Saul watched her. She had totally transformed his life, and the lives of his three children from his first marriage.

Louise stiffened as she saw Tullah making her way towards her. She looked quickly over her shoulder, but the door from the drawing room was blocked by her father and Aunt Ruth, who were deep in conversation. Katie, whom she might have expected to be her ally, had somehow or other managed to melt away, and now there was no escape for her. Tullah was already at her side.

‘Hello, Louise...’

‘Tullah.’

‘You’ve had your hair cut. I like it. It suits you...’

‘Thank you.’

Automatically Louise touched one of the short feathery curls of her newly shorn hair. She had had her hair cut on impulse the day before she had flown home, and the feminine cut showed off the delicacy of her bone structure and emphasised the shape and colour of her dark eyes. The weight she had lost while away at university had never totally been replaced. She looked, Tullah acknowledged inwardly, almost a little too fine-boned and fragile, and she could well understand, as a mother herself, why Jenny should be a little bit anxious over her well-being.

As the silence between them stretched Louise was acutely conscious of the fact that virtually everyone else in the room was probably watching them and remembering...

As she turned to move away from Tullah, baby Scott reached out and, grinning winsomely at Louise, patted her cheek with one fat baby hand, pronouncing solemnly, ‘Pretty.’

Over his downy head Tullah’s sympathetic eyes met Louise’s wary, startled ones.

‘Oh, dear. I think I’m going to sneeze.’ Tullah told Louise. ‘Could you take him for me?’

Before Louise could protest she found herself holding a solid armful of gurgling, beaming baby, whilst Tullah dived into her jacket pocket for a tissue.

‘No. No, it’s gone...’ Tullah announced when the threatened sneeze was not forthcoming, but she made no attempt to take her son back from Louise as she commented, ‘It’s so nice to see virtually all the family here. I know your grandfather isn’t always the easiest person to get along with...’

‘You can say that again,’ Louise agreed wryly, gently detaching the baby’s clutching fingers from the gold chain she was wearing around her neck. ‘He’s got your colouring but Saul’s eyes,’ she told Tullah. ‘How have the other three...?’

‘So far, so good,’ Tullah told her, showing her her crossed fingers. ‘It’s probably been easier for them, and for us in one way, because they live with us full time. So there’s no question of them feeling that Scott, here, gets to see more of their father than they do.’

Scott, for some reason, had quite obviously taken an immediate liking to Louise, and much to her own astonishment, and Tullah’s patent amusement, he started to press loud juicy kisses against her face.

Louise, despite her determination to focus on her career, had always liked children and enjoyed their company. As a teenager she had often babysat for Saul, and had formed quite a close bond with his three, and now, to her chagrin, she suddenly felt her eyes filling with emotional feminine tears as Scott’s baby kisses touched her skin.

Quickly she handed him back to Tullah, telling her chokingly, ‘Tullah, I’m sorry...’

And both of them knew that it wasn’t what was happening now that she was apologising for.

Very gently Tullah touched her arm.

‘It’s over, Lou,’ she told her softly. ‘Forget it. We have. You were missed at Christmas—by all of us...’ As she turned to return to Saul and the children, she paused and dropped a light kiss on Louise’s cheek.

‘Forget it’, Tullah had said. Louise closed her eyes as Tullah walked away. If only she could. Tullah and Saul might have forgiven her, but she doubted that she would ever be able to forgive herself...

‘Is everything all right, darling?’

Louise forced a determined smile as she read the concern in her mother’s eyes.

‘Fine,’ she assured her. A quick look around her grandfather’s drawing room reassured her that she was no longer the object of everyone’s discreet attention. Taking a deep breath, Louise commented as steadily as she could, ‘I was just saying to Tullah that Scott has Saul’s eyes but her colouring...’

‘Yes, he has, hasn’t he?’ Jenny Crighton agreed gratefully, relief leaking through the anxiety that had gripped her.

In one sense it had been a relief when Louise had finally agreed to come home for her grandfather’s birthday, but in another...

Louise was her daughter, and she loved her, worried over her—how could she not do so?—but she had to admit that she had been anxious.

Louise had a quick temper coupled with a very easily bruised sense of pride. Watching Max talking with his sister earlier had made Jenny pray that Max wouldn’t do or say something to upset his sister and put her on the defensive.

Tullah and Olivia—Jenny’s niece and Louise’s cousin—had both tried to reassure Jenny that everything would be all right, that teenage crushes were something that happened to everyone, and that it was just Louise’s misfortune that hers had happened to be conducted under such a public glare of family attention, and that the object of her untrammelled teenage passion had been a member of her own family.

‘She behaved so very badly,’ Jenny had reminded them sorrowfully.

‘Things did get a little out of hand,’ Tullah had agreed. ‘But since Louise’s behaviour resulted in Saul and I getting together, and recognising how we really felt about one another far more quickly than we might otherwise have done, I have to admit that I feel more inclined to be grateful to her than anything else.’

‘Louise made a mistake,’ Olivia had added. ‘Making mistakes is something we all do, and personally I think she’ll end up a better, more well-rounded person for having had it brought home to her that she is fallible and human. She was rather inclined to think herself above everyone else,’ she had reminded Jenny ruefully. ‘A combination, perhaps, of a certain Crighton gene plus a very, very shrewd brain. What happened has softened her, made her realise that she’s a human being and that there are some things she can’t programme herself to achieve...’

‘Have you had anything to eat yet?’ Jenny pressed now. Jon, her husband, kept reminding her that Louise was now an adult woman, living her own life and holding down a very high-pressured job, but to Jenny she was still very much one of her babies, and to a mother’s concerned eye Louise looked just that little bit too slender.

‘I was just going to get myself something,’ Louise fibbed. She was well aware of just how generous Tullah had been in coming over to her like that, but despite that generosity there was still a small knot of anxiety in Louise’s stomach which made her feel that it would be unwise trying to eat.

‘I was just on my way to wish Gramps a happy birthday,’ she told her mother, and hopefully, once she had done so, she would be able to leave without the others thinking that...that what? That she was running away?

Running away. No, she wasn’t doing that, had never done that, despite what some people chose to think!

‘European Parliament...bunch of committee-making bureaucrats who are far too removed from what’s going on in the real world...’

Louise gritted her teeth as she listened to Ben Crighton, her grandfather and family patriarch, a few minutes later. As she was perfectly well aware, so far as he was concerned the only real way, the only worthwhile way, to practise the law was from a barrister’s chambers.

Excusing herself before she allowed him to provoke her into an argument, Louise couldn’t help feeling sorry for Maddy, who had moved into the old man’s large country house following an operation on his hip the year before.

The move, at first merely a temporary one to ensure that he had someone to care for him in the short term, had turned into a more permanent arrangement, with Maddy and the children living full time in Haslewich with Max’s grandfather while Max spent most of his time living and working in London.

Louise couldn’t understand how or why Maddy put up with Max’s blatant selfishness—and his equally blatant infidelities. She certainly would never have done so, but then she would never have married a man like her brother in a thousand lifetimes. She knew how much it distressed her parents that he had turned out the way he had Max was as unprincipled and selfish in other areas of his life as he was in his role as a husband.

Unlike their uncle David, Olivia’s father and her own father’s twin brother, Max might never have actually broken the law, but Louise suspected that he was perfectly capable if not of doing so, then certainly of bending it to suit his own purposes.

‘He doesn’t change, does he?’ The rueful, familiar tones of Saul’s voice coming from behind her caused Louise to whirl round, her face a stiff mask of wariness as she watched him.

The last time she and Saul had spoken to each other had been when he had consigned her to Olivia’s charge, having just made it clear to her that, far from returning her feelings for him, he would really prefer never to have to set eyes on her again.

Words spoken in the heat of the moment, perhaps, but they had left their mark, their scar upon her, not least because she knew how richly deserved his fury and rejection of her had been.

‘I suppose at his age...’ Louise began, and then shook her head and agreed huskily, ‘No. No, he doesn’t.’

Ridiculous for her, at twenty-two, to feel as uncomfortable and ill at ease as a guilty child, but nevertheless she did.

Whatever malign fate had decided to make Saul the object of her teenage fantasies and longings had long since upped sticks and decamped from her emotions. The man she saw standing in front of her might not have changed but she certainly had. The Saul she saw standing before her now was once again, thankfully, nothing more to her than another member of her family.

‘Your mother says you’re only paying a flying visit home this time.’

‘Yes. Yes, that’s right,’ Louise agreed. ‘Pam Carlisle, my boss, has been asked to sit on a new committee being set up to look into the problems caused by potential over-fishing in the seas off the Arctic. Obviously from the legal angle there’s going to be a lot of research work involved, which I’ll be involved in.’

‘Mmm...sounds like a good breeding ground for potential future Euro politicians in the Crighton family,’ Saul teased, but Louise shook her head.

‘No. Definitely not,’ she denied firmly. ‘Politics isn’t for me. I’m afraid I’m far too outspoken for a start,’ she told him ruefully. ‘And politics requires a great deal more finesse than I’ll ever possess.’

‘You’re too hard on yourself,’ Saul told her. ‘In more ways than one,’ he added meaningfully, forcing her to hold his gaze as he added quietly, ‘It’s time for us to make a fresh start, Lou. What happened happened, but it’s in the past now...’

Before she could say anything he added, ‘Tullah and I will be coming over to Brussels some time in the next few months on company business. It would be nice if we could meet up...go out for dinner together... ’

Saul worked for Aarlston-Becker, a large multinational company whose European head office was based just outside Haslewich. He and Tullah had met when she had gone to work in the company’s legal department under Saul.

Unable to do anything other than simply nod her head, Louise was stunned when Saul suddenly reached out and took her in his arms, holding her tightly in a cousinly hug as he told her gruffly, ‘Friends again, Lou.’

‘Friends,’ she managed to agree chokily, fiercely blinking back her tears.

‘And don’t forget...write to me...’

Louise grimaced as she listened to Katie’s firm command. ‘Why on earth did you have to go and get yourself involved with some wretched charity outfit that can’t even run to the expense of a fax machine?’ she groaned.

‘You tell me...but I do enjoy my job,’ Katie pointed out

They were saying goodbye at the airport, their mother having dropped them off on her way to a meeting of the charity she and their great-aunt Ruth had set up in their home town some years earlier.

‘Sorry I can’t see you off properly,’ she had apologised as they climbed out of her small car.

‘Don’t worry about it, Mum; we understand,’ Louise had consoled her.

‘You could always come over to Brussels to see me, you know,’ Louise told her twin abruptly now. ‘I’ll pay for the ticket, if that would help.’

Katie gave her a brief hug. She knew how difficult it was for her sister to admit that there were any chinks in her emotional armour, even to her twin. To the world at large, Louise always came across as the more independent one of the two of them, the leader. But in reality Katie believed that she was the one with the less sensitively acute emotions, even though she knew that Louise would have sharply denied such an allegation. Louise had always taken upon herself the role of the bigger, braver sister, but Katie knew that inside Louise was nowhere near as confident or as determinedly independent as others seemed to think.

Even their parents seemed to have been deceived by Louise’s outward assumption of sturdy bravado, and consequently she was the one who was always treated that little bit more gently, the one for whom extra allowances were always made, Katie acknowledged. A fact which made her oddly protective of her sister.

‘Oh, by the way, did you know that Professor Simmonds has been seconded to Brussels? Apparently he’s been asked to head some committee on fishing rights in the North Sea,’ Katie told her vaguely.

‘What? No, I didn’t know,’ Louise responded, her face paling.

‘No? I thought that perhaps you may have bumped into him,’ Katie told her innocently.

‘No, I haven’t!’ But if what Katie had just told her was true, Louise suspected that she was certainly going to do so. The committee Katie was talking about had to be the same one that Louise’s boss had just been co-opted onto. Of all the unwanted coincidences!