This affectionate behaviour of my wife brought me a little out of the vapours, and I began to consider what I was doing; I corrected my wandering fancy, and began to argue with myself sedately, what business I had, after threescore years, and after such a life of tedious sufferings and disasters, and closed in so happy and easy a manner, I say, what business had I to rush into new hazards, and put myself upon adventures, fit only for youth and poverty to run into?
With those thoughts, I considered my new engagement; that I had a wife, one child born, and my wife then great with child of another; that I had all the world could give me and had no need to seek hazards for gain; that I was declining in years, and ought to think rather of leaving what I had gained, than of seeking to increase it; that as to what my wife had said, of its being an impulse from Heaven, and that it should be my duty to go, I had no notion of that; so after many of these cogitations, I struggled with the power of my imagination, reasoned myself out of it, as I believe people may always do in like cases, if they will; and, in a word, I conquered it; composed myself with such arguments as occurred to my thoughts, and which my present condition furnished me plentifully with; and particularly, as the most effectual method, I resolved to divert myself with other things, and to engage in some business that might effectually tie me up from any more excursions of this kind; for I found the thing return upon me chiefly when I was idle, had nothing to do, or any thing of moment immediately before me.
To this purpose I bought a little farm in the county of Bedford, and resolved to remove myself thither. I had a little convenient house upon it, and the land about it I found was capable of great improvement, and that it was many ways suited to my inclination, which delighted in cultivating, managing, planting, and improving of land; and particularly, being an inland country, I was removed from conversing among ships, sailors, and things relating to the remote part of the world.
In a word, I went down to my farm, settled my family, bought me ploughs, harrows, a cart, waggon, horses, cows, sheep; and setting seriously to work, became in one half year a mere country gentleman; my thoughts were entirely taken up in managing my servants, cultivating the ground, enclosing, planting, &c.; and I lived, as I thought, the most agreeable life that nature was capable of directing, or that a man always bred to misfortunes was capable of being retreated to.
I farmed upon my own land, I had no rent to pay, was limited by no articles; I could pull up or cut down as I pleased; what I planted was for myself, and what I improved, was for my family; and having thus left off the thoughts of wandering, I had not the least discomfort in any part of my life, as to this world. Now I thought indeed, that I enjoyed the middle state of life which my father so earnestly recommended to me, a kind of heavenly life, something like what is described by the poet upon the subject of a country life:
Free from vices, free from care,
Age has no pains, and youth no snare.
But in the middle of all this felicity, one blow from unforeseen Providence unhinged me at once; and not only made a breach upon me, inevitable and incurable, but drove me, by its consequence, upon a deep relapse into the wandering disposition; which, as I may say, being born in my very blood, soon recovered its hold of me, and, like the returns of a violent distemper, came on with an irresistible force upon me; so that nothing could make any more impression upon me. This blow was the loss of my wife.
It is not my business here to write an elegy upon my wife, to give a character of her particular virtues, and make my court to the sex by the flattery of a funeral sermon. She was, in a few words, the stay of all my affairs, the centre of all my enterprises, the engine that by her prudence reduced me to that happy compass I was in, from the most extravagant and ruinous project that fluttered in my head as above; and did more to guide my rambling genius, than a mother's tears, a father's instructions, a friend's counsel, or all my own reasoning powers could do. I was happy in listening to her tears, and in being moved by her entreaties, and to the last degree desolate and dislocated in the world by the loss of her.
When she was gone the world looked awkwardly round me, I was as much a stranger in it in my thoughts as I was in the Brasils when I went first on shore there; and as much alone, except as to the assistance of servants, as I was in my island. I knew neither what to do, or what not to do; I saw the world busy round me, one part labouring for bread, and the other part squandering in vile excesses or empty pleasures, equally miserable, because the end they proposed still fled from them; for the men of pleasure every day surfeited of their vice, and heaped up work for sorrow and repentance, and the men of labour spent their strength in daily strugglings for bread to maintain the vital strength they laboured with; so living in a daily circulation of sorrow, living but to work, and working but to live, as if daily bread were the only end of a wearisome life, and a wearisome life the only occasion of daily bread.
This put me in mind of the life I lived in my kingdom the island, where I suffered no more corn to grow, because I did not want it; and bred no more goats, because I had no more use for them; where the money lay in the drawer till it grew mildewed, and had scarce the favour to be looked upon in twenty years.
All these things, had I improved them as I ought to have done, and as reason and religion had dictated to me, would have taught me to search farther than human enjoyments for a full felicity, and that there was something which certainly was the reason and end of life, superior to all these things, and which was either to be possessed, or at least hoped for, on this side the grave.
But my sage counsellor was gone, I was like a ship without a pilot, that could only run before the wind; my thoughts run all away again into the old affair, my head was quite turned with the whimsies of foreign adventures; and all the pleasing innocent amusements of my farm and my garden, my cattle and my family, which before entirely possessed me, were nothing to me, had no relish, and were like music to one that has no ear, or food to one that has no taste: in a word, I resolved to leave off housekeeping, let my farm, and return to London; and in a few months after I did so.
When I came to London I was still as uneasy as before; I had no relish to the place, no employment in it, nothing to do but to saunter about like an idle person, of whom it may be said, he is perfectly useless in God's creation, and it is not one farthing matter to the rest of his kind whether he be dead or alive. This also was the thing which of all circumstances of life was the most my aversion, who had been all my days used to an active life; and I would often say to myself, "A state of idleness is the very dregs of life;" and indeed I thought I was much more suitably employed when I was twenty-six days making me a deal board.
It was now the beginning of the year 1693, when my nephew, whom, as I have observed before, I had brought up to the sea, and had made him commander of a ship, was come home from a short voyage to Bilboa, being the first he had made; he came to me, and told me, that some merchants of his acquaintance had been proposing to him to go a voyage for them to the East Indies and to China, as private traders; "And now, uncle," says he, "if you will go to sea with me, I'll engage to land you upon your old habitation in the island, for we are to touch at the Brasils."
Nothing can be a greater demonstration of a future state, and of the existence of an invisible world, than the concurrence of second causes with the ideas of things which we form in our minds, perfectly reserved, and not communicated to any in the world.
My nephew knew nothing how far my distemper of wandering was returned upon me, and I knew nothing of what he had in his thoughts to say, when that very morning, before he came to me, I had, in a great deal of confusion of thought, and revolving every part of my circumstances in my mind, come to this resolution, viz. that I would go to Lisbon, and consult with my old sea-captain; and so, if it was rational and practicable, I would go and see the island again, and see what was become of my people there. I had pleased myself also with the thoughts of peopling the place, and carrying inhabitants from hence, getting a patent for the possession, and I know not what; when in the middle of all this, in comes my nephew, as I have said, with his project of carrying me thither, in his way to the East Indies.
I paused awhile at his words, and looking steadily at him, "What devil," said I, "sent you of this unlucky errand?" My nephew startled, as if he had been frighted at first; but perceiving I was not much displeased with the proposal, he recovered himself. "I hope it may not be an unlucky proposal, Sir," says he; "I dare say you would be pleased to see your new colony there, where you once reigned with more felicity than most of your brother-monarchs in the world."
In a word, the scheme hit so exactly with my temper, that is to say, with the prepossession I was under, and of which I have said so much, that I told him, in a few words, if he agreed with the merchants I would go with him: but I told him I would not promise to go any farther than my own island. "Why, Sir," says he, "you don't want to be left there again, I hope?" – "Why," said I, "can you not take me up again in your return?" He told me, it could not be possible that the merchants would allow him to come that way with a loaden ship of such value, it being a month's sail out of his way, and might be three or four: "Besides, Sir, if I should miscarry," said he, "and not return at all, then you would be just reduced to the condition you were in before."
This was very rational; but we both found out a remedy for it, which was to carry a framed sloop on board the ship, which, being taken in pieces and shipped on board the ship, might, by the help of some carpenters, whom we agreed to carry with us, be set up again in the island, and finished, fit to go to sea in a few days.
I was not long resolving; for indeed the importunities of my nephew joined in so effectually with my inclination, that nothing could oppose me: on the other hand, my wife being dead, I had nobody concerned themselves so much for me, as to persuade me one way or other, except my ancient good friend the widow, who earnestly struggled with me to consider my years, my easy circumstances, and the needless hazard of a long voyage; and, above all, my young children: but it was all to no purpose; I had an irresistible desire to the voyage; and I told her I thought there was something so uncommon in the impressions I had upon my mind for the voyage, that it would be a kind of resisting Providence, if I should attempt to stay at home; after which she ceased her expostulations, and joined with me, not only in making provision for my voyage, but also in settling my family affairs in my absence, and providing for the education of my children.
In order to this I made my will, and settled the estate I had in such a manner for my children, and placed in such hands, that I was perfectly easy and satisfied they would have justice done them, whatever might befal me; and for their education, I left it wholly to my widow, with a sufficient maintenance to herself for her care: all which she richly deserved; for no mother could have taken more care in their education, or understood it better; and as she lived till I came home, I also lived to thank her for it.
My nephew was ready to sail about the beginning of January 1694-5, and I with my man Friday went on board in the Downs the 8th, having, besides that sloop which I mentioned above, a very considerable cargo of all kinds of necessary things for my colony, which if I did not find in good condition, I resolved to leave so.
First, I carried with me some servants, whom I purposed to place there as inhabitants, or at least to set on work there upon my own account while I stayed, and either to leave them there, or carry them forward, as they should appear willing; particularly, I carried two carpenters, a smith, and a very handy, ingenious fellow, who was a cooper by trade, but was also a general mechanic; for he was dexterous at making wheels, and hand-mills to grind corn, was a good turner, and a good potmaker; he also made any thing that was proper to make of earth, or of wood; in a word, we called him our Jack of all Trades.
With these I carried a tailor, who had offered himself to go passenger to the East Indies with my nephew, but afterwards consented to stay on our new plantation, and proved a most necessary handy fellow as could be desired, in many other businesses besides that of this trade; for, as I observed formerly, necessity arms us for all employments.
My cargo, as near as I can recollect, for I have not kept an account of the particulars, consisted of a sufficient quantity of linen, and some thin English stuffs for clothing the Spaniards that I expected to find there, and enough of them as by my calculation might comfortably supply them for seven years: if I remember right, the materials which I carried for clothing them, with gloves, hats, shoes, stockings, and all such things as they could want for wearing, amounted to above two hundred pounds, including some beds, bedding, and household-stuff, particularly kitchen utensils, with pots, kettles, pewter, brass, &c. besides near a hundred pounds more in iron-work, nails, tools of every kind, staples, hooks, hinges, and every necessary thing I could think of.
I carried also a hundred spare arms, muskets, and fuzees, besides some pistols, a considerable quantity of shot of all sizes, three or four tons of lead, and two pieces of brass cannon; and because I knew not what time and what extremities I was providing for, I carried an hundred barrels of powder, besides swords, cutlasses, and the iron part of some pikes and halberts; so that, in short, we had a large magazine of all sorts of stores; and I made my nephew carry two small quarter-deck guns more than he wanted for his ship, to leave behind if there was occasion; that when they came there we might build a fort, and man it against all sorts of enemies: and indeed I at first thought there would be need enough of it all, and much more, if we hoped to maintain our possession of the island, as shall be seen in the course of the story.
I had not such bad luck in this voyage as I had been used to meet with; and therefore shall have the less occasion to interrupt the reader, who perhaps may be impatient to hear how matters went with my colony; yet some odd accidents, cross winds, and bad weather happened on this first setting out, which made the voyage longer than I expected it at first; and I, who had never made but one voyage, viz. my first voyage to Guinea, in which I might be said to come back again as the voyage was at first designed, began to think the same ill fate still attended me; and that I was born to be never contented with being on shore, and yet to be always unfortunate at sea.
Contrary winds first put us to the northward, and we were obliged to put in at Galway, in Ireland, where we lay wind bound two-and-thirty days; but we had this satisfaction with the disaster, that provisions were here, exceeding cheap, and in the utmost plenty; so that while we lay here we never touched the ship's stores, but rather added to them: here also I took several hogs, and two cows with their calves, which I resolved, if I had a good passage, to put on shore in my island; but we found occasion to dispose otherwise of them.
We set out the 5th of February from Ireland, and had a very fair gale of wind for some days; as I remember, it might be about the 20th of February in the evening late, when the mate having the watch, came into the round-house, and told us he saw a flash of fire, and heard a gun fired; and while he was telling us of it, a boy came in, and told us the boatswain heard another. This made us all run out upon the quarter-deck, where for a while we heard nothing, but in a few minutes we saw a very great light, and found that there was some very terrible fire at a distance. Immediately we had recourse to our reckonings, in which we all agreed that there could be no land that way in which the fire shewed itself, no, not for five hundred leagues, for it appeared at W.N.W. Upon this we concluded it must be some ship on fire at sea; and as by our hearing the noise of guns just before, we concluded it could not be far off, we stood directly towards it, and were presently satisfied we should discover it, because the farther we sailed the greater the light appeared, though the weather being hazy we could not perceive any thing but the light for a while; in about half an hour's sailing, the wind being fair for us, though not much of it, and the weather clearing up a little, we could plainly discern that it was a great ship on fire in the middle of the sea.
I was most sensibly touched with this disaster, though not at all acquainted with the persons engaged in it; I presently recollected my former circumstances, in what condition I was in when taken up by the Portugal captain; and how much more deplorable the circumstances of the poor creatures belonging to this ship must be if they had no other ship in company with them: upon this I immediately ordered that five guns should be fired, one soon after another, that, if possible, we might give notice to them that there was help for them at hand, and that they might endeavour to save themselves in their boat; for though we could see the flame in the ship, yet they, it being night, could see nothing of us.
We lay by some time upon this, only driving as the burning ship drove, waiting for daylight; when on a sudden, to our great terror, though we had reason to expect it, the ship blew up in the air, and immediately sunk. This was terrible, and indeed an afflicting sight, for the sake of the poor men, who, I concluded, must be either all destroyed in the ship, or be in the utmost distress in their boats in the middle of the ocean, which, at present, by reason it was dark, I could not see: however, to direct them as well as I could, I caused lights to be hung out in all the parts of the ship where we could, and which we had lanterns for, and kept firing guns all the night long; letting them know by this, that there was a ship not far off.
About eight o'clock in the morning we discovered the ship's boats, by the help of our perspective-glasses; and found there were two of them, both thronged with people, and deep in the water; we perceived they rowed, the wind being against them; that they saw our ship, and did the utmost to make us see them.
We immediately spread our ancient, to let them know we saw them; and hung a waft out, as a signal for them to come on board; and then made more sail, standing directly to them. In a little more than half an hour we came up with them, and in a word took them all in, being no less than sixty-four men, women, and children; for there were a great many passengers.
Upon the whole, we found it was a French merchant-ship of three hundred tons, homeward-bound from Quebec, in the river of Canada. The master gave us a long account of the distress of his ship, how the fire began in the steerage by the negligence of the steersman; but, on his crying out for help, was, as everybody thought, entirely put out: but they soon found that some sparks of the first fire had gotten into some part of the ship, so difficult to come at, that they could not effectually quench it; and afterwards getting in between the timbers, and within the ceiling of the ship, it proceeded into the hold, and mastered all the skill and all the application they were able to exert.
They had no more to do then but to get into their boats, which, to their great comfort, were pretty large; being their long-boat, and a great shallop, besides a small skiff, which was of no great service to them, other than to get some fresh water and provisions into her, after they had secured themselves from the fire. They had indeed small hope of their lives by getting into these boats at that distance from any land; only, as they said well, that they were escaped from the fire, and had a possibility, that some ship might happen to be at sea, and might take them in. They had sails, oars, and a compass; and were preparing to make the best of their way to Newfoundland, the wind blowing pretty fair; for it blew an easy gale at S.E. by E. They had as much provisions and water, as, with sparing it so as to be next door to starving, might support them about twelve days; in which, if they had no bad weather, and no contrary winds, the captain said, he hoped he might get to the banks of Newfoundland, and might perhaps take some fish to sustain them till they might go on shore. But there were so many chances against them in all these cases; such as storms to overset and founder them; rains and cold to benumb and perish their limbs; contrary winds to keep them out and starve them; that it must have been next to miraculous if they had escaped.
In the midst of their consultations, every one being hopeless, and ready to despair, the captain with tears in his eyes told me, they were on a sudden surprised with the joy of hearing a gun fire, and after that four more; these were the five guns which I caused to be fired at first seeing the light: this revived their hearts, and gave them the notice which, as above, I designed it should, viz. that there was a ship at hand for their help.
It was upon the hearing these guns, that they took down their masts and sails; and the sound coming from the windward, they resolved to lie by till morning. Some time after this, hearing no more guns, they fired three muskets, one a considerable while after another; but these, the wind being contrary, we never heard.
Some time after that again, they were still more agreeably surprised with seeing our lights, and hearing the guns, which, as I have said, I caused to be fired all the rest of the night: this set them to work with their oars to keep their boats ahead, at least that we might the sooner come up with them; and at last, to their inexpressible joy, they found we saw them.
It is impossible for me to express the several gestures, the strange ecstasies, the variety of postures, which these poor delivered people ran into, to express the joy of their souls at so unexpected a deliverance; grief and fear are easily described; sighs, tears, groans, and a very few motions of head and hands, make up the sum of its variety: but an excess of joy, a surprise of joy, has a thousand extravagances in it; there were some in tears, some raging and tearing themselves, as if they had been in the greatest agonies of sorrow; some stark raving and downright lunatic; some ran about the ship stamping with their feet, others wringing their hands; some were dancing, several singing, some laughing, more crying; many quite dumb, not able to speak a word; others sick and vomiting, several swooning, and ready to faint; and a few were crossing themselves and giving God thanks.
I would not wrong them neither; there might be many that were thankful afterward; but the passion was too strong for them at first, and they were not able to master it; they were thrown into ecstasies and a kind of frenzy, and so there were but a very few who were composed and serious in their joy.
Perhaps also the case may have some addition to it, from the particular circumstance of the nation they belonged to; I mean the French, whose temper is allowed to be more volatile, more passionate, and more sprightly, and their spirits more fluid, than of other nations. I am not philosopher to determine the cause, but nothing I had ever seen before came up to it: the ecstasies poor Friday, my trusty savage, was in, when he found his father in the boat, came the nearest to it; and the surprise of the master, and his two companions, whom I delivered from the two villains that set them on shore in the island, came a little way towards it; but nothing was to compare to this, either that I saw in Friday, or any where else in my life.
It is farther observable, that these extravagances did not shew themselves in that different manner I have mentioned, in different persons only: but all the variety would appear in a short succession of moments, in one and the same person. A man that we saw this minute dumb, and, as it were, stupid and confounded, should the next minute be dancing and hallooing like an antic; and the next moment a-tearing his hair, or pulling his clothes to pieces, and stamping them under his feet like a madman; a few minutes after that, we should have him all in tears, then sick, then swooning; and had not immediate help been had, would in a few moments more have been dead; and thus it was, not with one or two, or ten or twenty, but with the greatest part of them; and, if I remember right, our surgeon was obliged to let above thirty of them blood.
There were two priests among them, one an old man, and the other a young man; and that which was strangest was, that the oldest man was the worst.
As soon as he set his foot on board our ship, and saw himself safe, he dropped down stone dead, to all appearance; not the least sign of life could be perceived in him; our surgeon immediately applied proper remedies to recover him; and was the only man in the ship that believed he was not dead: and at length he opened a vein in his arm, having first chafed and rubbed the part, so as to warm it as much as possible: upon this the blood, which only dropped at first, flowed something freely; in three minutes after the man opened his eyes; and about a quarter of an hour after that he spoke, grew better, and, in a little time, quite well; after the blood was stopped he walked about, told us he was perfectly well, took a dram of cordial which the surgeon gave him, and was, what we called, come to himself; about a quarter of an hour after this they came running into the cabin to the surgeon, who was bleeding a French woman that had fainted, and told him the priest was gone stark mad. It seems he had begun to revolve the change of his circumstances in his mind, and this put him into an ecstasy of joy: his spirits whirled about faster than the vessels could convey them; the blood grew hot and feverish; and the man was as fit for Bedlam as any creature that ever was in it; the surgeon would not bleed him again in that condition, but gave him something to doze and put him to sleep, which, after some time, operated upon him, and he waked next morning perfectly composed and well.
The younger priest behaved himself with great command of his passion, and was really an example of a serious, well-governed mind; at his first coming on board the ship, he threw himself flat on his face, prostrating himself in thankfulness for his deliverance; in which I unhappily and unseasonably disturbed him, really thinking he had been in a swoon: but he spoke calmly; thanked me; told me he was giving God thanks for his deliverance; begged me to leave him a few moments, and that next to his Maker he would give me thanks also.
I was heartily sorry that I disturbed him, and not only left him, but kept others from interrupting him also; he continued in that posture about three minutes, or a little more, after I left him, then came to me, as he had said he would, and with a great deal of seriousness and affection, but with tears in his eyes, thanked me that had, under God, given him and so many miserable creatures their lives: I told him, I had no room to move him to thank God for it rather than me; for I had seen that he had done that already: but I added, that it was nothing but what reason and humanity dictated to all men, and that we had as much reason as he to give thanks to God, who had blessed us so far as to make us the instruments of his mercy to so many of his creatures.
After this the young priest applied himself to his country-folks; laboured to compose them; persuaded, entreated, argued, reasoned with them, and did his utmost to keep them within the exercise of their reason; and with some he had success, though others were, for a time, out of all government of themselves.
I cannot help committing this to writing, as perhaps it may be useful to those into whose hands it may fall, in the guiding themselves in all the extravagances of their passions; for if an excess of joy can carry men out to such a length beyond the reach of their reason, what will not the extravagances of anger, rage, and a provoked mind, carry us to? And, indeed, here I saw reason for keeping an exceeding watch over our passions of every kind, as well those of joy and satisfaction, as those of sorrow and anger.
We were something disordered by these extravagances among our new guests for the first day; but when they had been retired, lodgings provided for them as well as our ship would allow, and they had slept heartily, as most of them did, being fatigued and frightened, they were quite another sort of people the next day.
Nothing of good manners, or civil acknowledgments for the kindness shown them, was wanting; the French, it is known, are naturally apt enough to exceed that way. The captain and one of the priests came to me the next day; and, desiring to speak with me and my nephew, the commander, began to consult with us what should be done with them; and first they told us, that as we had saved their lives, so all they had was little enough for a return to us for the kindness received. The captain said, they had saved some money, and some things of value in their boats, catched hastily out of the flames: and if we would accept it, they were ordered to make an offer of it all to us; they only desired to be set on shore somewhere in our way, where, if possible, they might get a passage to France.
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