Reunited With The Rancher

And as much as Kylie tried to pretend it was in the past, she’d held on to each morsel of information about the boy she’d once known.

Carson had changed. But hadn’t they all? She definitely wasn’t the girl she’d been all of those years ago. She smiled at the memory of her teen self. She’d been too skinny, often barefoot and always looking forward to leaving Hope. And now she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

With the others occupied with dinner, she slipped away to check on Jack. She stopped at the door of the family room. Jack had fallen asleep. The gentle rise and fall of his chest assured her he was okay. Maggie lay curled in his arms, her head against his shoulder, her cheeks rosy from sleep.

Carson appeared at her side, a cleaned-up Andy at his side.

“He’s going to be okay,” he said with quiet assurance.

Of course the minute he’d said the words, the tears she’d been holding in managed to trickle down her cheeks. She brushed the dampness away, thinking he wouldn’t want to see her crying.

Instead his shoulder brushed hers and he leaned closer, his breath warm as it ruffled the hair near her ear. “We’ll stay tonight. I’ll give Maggie and Andy a chance to rest. I’ll be here to make sure Jack is okay. You don’t have to take all of this on yourself.”

How did he know her concern? She was so used to taking on the troubles of the people at the ranch, which included Jack. She worried a lot about him.

She closed her eyes, and leaned her head just a fraction so that it rested on his shoulder. Memories were so difficult because she knew how it had felt to lean on the shoulder of a boy. He’d always made her feel safe. Even then, when he was all arms and legs and not so tall.

The man standing next to her wasn’t a boy. She took advantage of his strength, his nearness, just for a moment. Just long enough to feel strong on her own.

“We should get the kids something to eat,” she said as she drew away from him.

Maggie blinked a few times, saw them and slid off the side of the recliner to toddle their way. Her mass of blond curls framed her sweet face and she smiled a sleepy smile. And then she walked right up to Kylie and held up her arms. Kylie lifted the little girl and held her close.

A tiny hand patted Kylie’s cheek.

“Okay?” the little girl asked.

Kylie laughed and shed a few tears because of the sweetness of the gesture. “Yes, Maggie, I’m okay.”

She could get so attached to this little girl with her giggles and sweet smile. And to Andy with his cautious looks and the sadness in his gray eyes. If one afternoon had proven dangerous, she could only imagine if they stayed longer.

“You found him,” Jack said, his voice groggy.

“We found him,” Carson said. “He took a bit of a roll in the mud but other than that, he’s fine.”

Jack studied his grandson. “Rose makes the best stew. That should warm him up and make him feel better. I guess you’re heading out soon?”

“We’ll stay the night.”

Jack nodded. “Good. I have something I want to suggest.”

“I think we’re good,” Carson said. “We both know where we stand. And I’m not interested in the clinic.”

Jack waved a hand at his son. “I’m not talking about the clinic or what’s between us. I’m talking about Andy. He needs a dog.”

Kylie felt her heart drop, seriously drop. It ached as it plummeted. Jack had told her he had an idea. He hadn’t mentioned a dog. She knew it made sense. But she also knew what else it meant. It meant time. Working together. Carson staying here in Oklahoma.

“I can get him a puppy once we find a home in Chicago. I know that kids need pets.”

Jack waved his hand. “No. Not a pet. He needs a service dog.”

Carson paused his denials. “A service dog?”

“We train them here at the ranch, for our wounded warriors and for others in need. Service dogs are expensive but we’re pretty good at keeping the costs down so we can donate them to those in need.”

“Then those dogs are for service members who need them. We don’t want to take someone’s dog,” Carson insisted. But Kylie could tell he was thinking about it. Thinking about a dog for his son.

“A dog would keep him from wandering,” Jack told him. “It would keep him safe.”

Carson sat down, Andy still in his arms. “I get that. But we’re leaving.”

“If you stay, we could get him a dog.” Jack raised his eyes and met Kylie’s, pleading. “What do you think?”

She couldn’t deny Jack. Her gaze shifted to Andy. She couldn’t deny a child. “We could get him a dog.”

“See,” Jack said with a smile. “Kylie is in charge of our dogs.”

Carson smiled at her. “I think Kylie is in charge of everything around here.”

Jack laughed at that. “She is, but don’t tell her. She’ll start asking for a raise.”

“We’ll stay the night and discuss a dog later.” Carson stood. “But right now, I have to feed Andy and Maggie.”

Kylie followed him from the living room. “Do you need me to get anything from your car, or is there something I can do to help?”

“If you can sit upstairs with Andy and Maggie, I can get our bags. You don’t need to carry them.”

“I can sit with them,” she offered.

He nodded and headed up the stairs. She had to hurry to catch up with him. Maggie clung to her neck and stairs weren’t the easiest for her on the best of days.

“You could give me a break and slow down,” she called out to his retreating back.

He stopped and headed back down the stairs. Before she could protest, he took Maggie so that he held a child on each hip. And then he tromped back up the stairs.

“Which door?”

“Second door on the right,” she told him as she caught up. “It has a double bed and a twin with a trundle.”

He opened it and entered the room. She watched as he set both kids down on the bed. “Stay with Kylie. I’ll be right back with clean clothes.”

“You’ve got this parenting thing down,” she said as he brushed past her to leave.

Her words stopped him and she saw the change in his gray eyes. A soft smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, I’ve kind of had to figure it all out on my own.”

She touched his arm, stopping him from walking away. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t.” He paused there, just a breath of space between them. “I’d guess you have your own story. Life never turns out how we expect it to, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. And I think Jack isn’t who you expected, is he? You thought you’d show up and everything would be the way it was when you left. You thought Jack would be the same person.”

“Maybe,” he said with a shrug of broad shoulders.

Time and circumstances had changed Carson the same way they had changed her. The boy she’d known had been fun-loving. In spite of his circumstance he had laughed and found the best in each day. The best in people. He seemed to have lost that side of himself.

The man standing in front of her had jagged edges.

Chapter Four

Carson woke up Saturday to the gray light of early morning stealing through the curtains of an unfamiliar room. Across the room in a twin bed, Andy and Maggie were cuddled together, still sleeping. From downstairs he could hear the sound of water running and dishes clinking. Sneaking from the room so as not to wake the children, he made his way downstairs.

If either of the children woke, he’d hear them or see them as they came down the stairs.

He had expected to see Kylie in the kitchen. Instead Isaac stood at the sink filling a coffee pot with water. He glanced at Carson, grinned, then went back to work.

“Expected someone prettier, did you?” Isaac poured the water in the coffeemaker. “She’s working dogs. Want some breakfast? Or are you heading out early? Chicago is waiting.”

“In a hurry to get rid of me?”

“I like the kids. You I could do without. I can do without your suspicious looks. I can do without your judgment. So can Jack. You haven’t lived his life. Have you ever been to war? Have you ever wondered if the last shot you took...”

Isaac shook his head, raising a hand when Carson tried to tell him they didn’t need to have this conversation.

Isaac poured himself a cup of coffee. “We have to talk about the fact that you think you know everything. But until you talk to people and find out their side, their experiences, you don’t know them. And you don’t know your father...”

Carson grabbed a cup from the cabinet and watched the coffee drip into the pot, ignoring the younger man that he assumed was his brother. He should just ask. As Isaac said, you don’t know a person until you know their story.

“You’re probably right. But I guess that goes both ways. You don’t know my story, either.” Carson met Isaac’s gaze, held it for a minute.

“Shoot,” Isaac said as he raised his cup.

“Shoot?”

“Go ahead. Tell me your story.”

Carson shook his head. “Where’s Jack?”

“Gone to town already. You can’t keep a good man down.” And he put emphasis on good.

Carson glanced out the window and saw Kylie heading toward the house. She was dressed in boots, jeans and a T-shirt. A dog followed along behind her. She was smiling, talking to the animal. For whatever reason, she made this place bearable.

“Is that why you’re still here?” Isaac said, more of a teasing tone in his voice.

“No. I’m here because Jack had an angina attack last night and because I couldn’t put Andy and Maggie back in the car after the long day of driving we had yesterday. They needed a chance to rest.”

“Right. Of course.” Isaac finished his coffee and put the cup in the dishwasher. “The past has a way of catching up with us. Now if you’ll excuse me, Doc, I have work to do. If you’re bored, you can always saddle up and help out. Do you remember how to ride a horse?”

“I remember how to ride a horse, but I have Andy and Maggie, if you remember. And I need to check on Jack.”

The door opened and Kylie entered, looking from one to the other of them. She carried a basket of fall tomatoes and squash that she put on the counter before heading for the coffee.

“Are the two of you circling each other like old barn cats?” she asked as she grabbed a cup.

Isaac grinned at Carson as he headed for the door. “Nah, only one of us remembers what a barn looks like. Carson is more of a domesticated house cat.”

“If Kylie will watch the kids, I’ll meet you out there in fifteen minutes.”

“I didn’t realize you’d be so easily triggered.” Isaac laughed. “Do you even have boots?”

“I’m sure Jack has a pair I can fit into.”

“Suit yourself.” Isaac headed for the back door.

“Would you be able to watch Andy and Maggie for me?” Carson asked Kylie.

“I don’t mind, but I do have work to do today. And we need to talk about Jack’s suggestion of a service dog for Andy.”

Her tone was cool, professional. It didn’t match her. It didn’t match the warmth of her expression, or the freckles that dusted her nose. It was for him, that cool, distant tone. It was meant to keep him at arm’s length.

He should have appreciated the gesture. Instead it had him feeling as if he was missing something.

“What’s your opinion on a service dog?” he asked.

“I did some research this morning. I think the idea has merit. A service dog for a child with autism can help with social settings and sleep patterns, can stop repetitive behaviors and can also keep him from wandering.”

Impressive. She’d done her homework. He had thought he’d done everything possible to give his son the most opportunities, including this planned move to Chicago. But he hadn’t considered a service dog.

“If I did this, would it take time to train the dog? Would we need to come back?”

“You would have to stay,” she said as she pulled a carton of eggs out of the fridge.

He couldn’t see her face but he knew the idea of them staying bothered her. He knew his reasons for wanting to leave, but her reasons for wanting them gone were a mystery.

“Stay. As in, for a day or two?”

“A few weeks.” She began cracking eggs in a bowl. “Do you want an omelet?”

He watched as she worked. “Is it the idea of Jack giving us a dog that has you upset, or is it the idea of me staying?”

She looked up, guilt written across her face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want Andy to have a dog. I think it would change his life.”

“But you don’t want me here,” he said with as much of a smile as he could muster.

“I didn’t say that. I didn’t mean to even imply it.”

But he got the impression it was exactly what she felt. But today he didn’t feel like pushing for answers. If he pushed that meant going down a path he didn’t plan to pursue.

“I can’t stay here for a few weeks.”

She dumped the eggs in a frying pan and glanced back over her shoulder. “I understand.”

“But I do want Andy to have a dog. I’ll figure this out. If you don’t mind watching the kids, I’m heading out to join Isaac. I need to show him that I can still ride a horse.”

“I’ll watch the kids. You try not to break your leg.” She grabbed a granola bar out of a basket. “You have to eat something.”

“Have a little faith in me.” He caught the granola bar Kylie tossed his way.

“I do have faith.” She let the statement speak for itself.

He lifted his foot.

“Will Jack’s boots fit me?”

“I think so. Or you can try the clothes closet. Every now and then a guy moves on and they’ll leave stuff behind. We have clothes, boots, hats, just about everything.” She opened the door at the side of the kitchen. “Laundry room and clothing. Help yourself.”

She’d been right about finding what he needed. Boots, a hat, gloves. He walked back out a few minutes later and she gave him the once-over.

“Even if you can’t ride a horse anymore, you look like you can.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” He paused at the stove. “When Andy wakes up, don’t be offended if he won’t eat. He has sensory issues.”

“I’ll handle it.”

“He might be upset when he wakes up.” Carson thought it best she know everything. In response she put a hand around his arm and walked with him to the back door.

“Carson, I handle adults with PTSD. I think I can handle Andy. And I’ll do it gently. I’ll go upstairs and when he wakes up, I’ll be there.”

She would handle his son, he realized. She’d do it the same way she was handling him. Her touch lingered and for a moment their gazes connected. And then she seemed to realize it. She backed away, giving his arm a pat that was more motherly than anything else.

“I know you’ll be fine with them,” he said.

“I’ll go up right now and check on them if that makes you feel better,” she added.

Carson headed for the stable; the chocolate Lab that had followed Kylie chased after him but then ran back to the house to bark at the back door. He glanced back and saw that she no longer stood at the door. Fool that he was, he thought she might stand there and watch him walk away.

“She’s not watching you walk away.” Isaac came out of the barn wearing that same cheesy grin he’d been wearing since yesterday.

Carson saw behind the facade. He saw the occasional flicker of pain, sometimes a flash of anger. Isaac wasn’t all smiles. Far from it.

“Do you ever take that thing off and wash it?” Carson asked as he stepped inside the stable.

“My hat?” Isaac looked disturbed by the question. He tapped the brim of the black cowboy hat. “Why would I wash it?”

“I meant that goofy grin you wear all the time.”

Isaac laughed. “Who knew you’d be so funny? And who knew you’d be like every other man that landed here. Might as well get over it. We all fall a little in love with Kylie, and then we realize her heart isn’t open for business. She loves everyone. But she doesn’t fall in love with anyone.”

“I’m not looking for love any more than she is,” he reassured the other man. And then he noticed activity at a large metal shop a short distance away. “What are they doing over there?”

Isaac pulled a toothpick from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth. He pulled out another, wrapped in plastic, and offered it to Carson. “Cinnamon, you want one?”

“No, thanks.”

“That’s the crew heading to the Lakeside Retreat and Boat Dock. It’s one of the projects we’re working on. The place sat empty for ten years and Jack bought it to remodel. There’s another crew that heads to town. Jack bought a few of the old stores and he’s remodeling and offering free rent for a year if people will start businesses that could help the community.”

“He’s an optimist if he thinks he can turn this town around.”

“He’s giving people jobs,” Isaac said, the toothpick in the corner of his mouth. “I guess it’s more about faith. And if that’s the case, I’m an optimist, too. The others are saddled up and ready to go.”

“How many of us?”

“Four are riding. Matt is on an ATV. He doesn’t care for animals too much.”

They headed through the stable to a back door and a small corral. Two horses were saddled and tied to the fence. Two people were already on their horses and a third was outside the corral on a four-wheeler. He waved a prosthetic arm and grinned.

“Matt on the ATV.” Isaac nodded in Matt’s direction. “Jules is on the Appaloosa.”

“Hi, Jules.” Carson walked up to them. Jules extended a hand to shake his. She had burn scars down the side of her face.

“Tyler on the road,” Isaac said as he mounted the horse tied near the gate. Carson shook hands with the younger man, and then he started for the gray that had obviously been left for him.

“You remember how to make that thing go, right?”

Carson untied the gray and ignored the question. As if it hadn’t been years, he swung himself into the saddle and reined the horse in the direction of the men who were waiting. Unfortunately, the horse had other plans.

Carson barely had time to gather up the reins before the horse started to snort and raise its rump in a halfhearted attempt at bucking him off. He clamped his legs around the animal’s middle and the horse gave a good buck, twisting as he did.

He soon became somewhat aware that the other men stopped to watch. He heard a few chuckles, then he clearly heard Isaac yell, “Ride ’em, cowboy!”

Carson held on, talking quietly as the horse began to settle beneath him. The quest to throw him from the saddle ended with a big shuddering shake that started at the horse’s head and went all the way to its tail. After that, the animal took a few halting steps and began to walk.

“Was it entertaining for you?” he called back to Isaac.

Isaac rode up next to him, still laughing. “Yeah, but I honestly didn’t think you’d be able to hold on. Spud is always kind of a beast when you first get on him.”

“Payback,” Carson warned him.

“Yeah, I reckon I’ll get mine. I deserve that.” Isaac glanced back at the house. “I was just trying to help you out. Kylie would have been all upset and tended to your wounds if you’d actually gotten thrown. I’m taking it the two of you knew each other, before.”

“Yeah, we knew each other. How long have you known her?” Carson gave Isaac a quick look but he didn’t quite trust the horse enough to let down his guard.

“Four years. Since she moved to the ranch. I know she lived down the road twenty years ago. That was a couple of years before my time.”

Carson relaxed a bit in the saddle as he and the horse got used to each other. “How long have you been here?”

Isaac nudged his horse in to a trot. “Got here the first time about seventeen years ago. And I came back about five years ago.”

The conversation fizzled as the men started through a gate and rode toward a herd of cattle. It gave Carson something to think about. He felt as if his life, Jack’s and Isaac’s were all part of the same puzzle but with pieces missing. And Kylie belonged in there somewhere. He just wasn’t sure what part she played.

He aimed to find out. And soon.

* * *

Kylie led Andy and Maggie down the stairs. They were dressed, hair brushed and ready for the day. Well, Andy’s hair wasn’t really brushed. The dark strands stood a little on end, but she’d done her best.

“Daddy is at work?” Andy asked, not looking at her as he did.

“No,” Kylie assured him. “He went outside, but he’ll be back soon. I’m going to fix you breakfast. Do you like biscuits?”

Maggie clapped her hands and jabbered about gravy, the words all running together. Andy bit down on his bottom lip and walked to the door.

“You have to stay inside, buddy,” Kylie told him.

He nodded but she saw his hand fidgeting at his side, as if given a chance he would open the door and leave. The house phone rang and as she answered it she kept a close eye on Andy. She wouldn’t lose him again. As she ended the call, she took the little boy by the hand and led him to the table. “Let’s sit right here, Andy.”

Maggie had already crawled up and sat down in another chair.

The door opened and Kylie’s roommate Eve Vincent entered, her gaze immediately going to the children. She waved a gloved hand at them.

“What’s for breakfast?” Eve stopped next to the children. “This must be Maggie and Andy. Wow, you can see the family resemblance. I saw their daddy getting on a horse earlier.”

Eve grinned. From the flicker of amusement in her eyes, Kylie didn’t have to ask which horse they’d given Carson.

“Please tell me it wasn’t Spud,” Kylie groaned as she dished out eggs, sausage and biscuits smeared with butter and jelly. She set a small plate in front of Andy and one in front of Maggie.

“Yeah, Spud. But he handled him fine.”

Andy shook his head no as he looked at the plate of food.

“Picky eater?” Eve asked.

“Sensory issues. The key is finding what food agrees with him.”

“Isn’t that just being picky?” Eve queried.

“No, there’s a difference. It’s about tasting food differently than you or I would.” She cut up the biscuit and Andy continued to shake his head. “What about the eggs?”

The little boy took a bite, made a face but continued to chew. Eve laughed at his reaction.

“I don’t blame him. You’re a good cook, Kylie, but eggs aren’t your specialty.”

“I make very good eggs,” she countered.

“Hold on, I just remembered something,” Eve said as she studied Andy. “Mind pouring me a cup of coffee and I’ll help you get him to eat. I’m kind of a pro with kids.”

“You’re a pro with kids?” Kylie didn’t mean to sound skeptical but her friend was either hiding something or making up skills she didn’t possess.

They’d known each another for three years. Both of them were from completely different worlds. Eve had joined the military against her parents’ wishes because she’d wanted some independence, and to prove herself. Kylie hadn’t seen her mother since she’d been taken into foster care. After turning eighteen, the Army had seemed like the best option.

Eve now grinned as she spun her wheelchair around. “I’m sure I am a child expert. I’ve spent almost zero time with children, but look at me, I’m on wheels. That has to make a difference. Let me try to feed him something.”

“Go for it.”

Eve obviously thought she had a trick up her sleeve. She went to the fridge and pulled out taco sauce and ketchup.

“Watch and learn.” Eve dropped the items in her lap and zoomed across the room at a reckless speed.

“What are you doing?”

Kylie followed her back to the table where Maggie had scooped the last of her eggs into her mouth. Andy was sitting in his chair staring out the window. Kylie peered over his shoulder and saw what had captured his attention. In the distance she could see the men on horseback riding herd on about fifty head of cattle, bringing them in to the corral to work them.

“Your daddy is riding. If we eat breakfast, we can go see him when they get back,” Kylie said as she glanced at Eve who was busy separating Andy’s eggs in to five piles. On the first she squeezed ketchup, on one she sprinkled sugar, the next pepper, one with taco sauce and the last with salt. This was her plan?

“There we go,” Eve said, sticking her finger in the pepper and tasting. It made her sneeze.

Andy wouldn’t try it but he laughed. When she tried the one with sugar his eyes widened and he tasted the sugar but not the eggs. When he got to the one with taco sauce he looked more than a little skeptical but after a taste he began to eat.

“Who would have guessed?” Kylie watched as the little boy ate the small portion of eggs and waited for Eve to wipe off the rest of the eggs and add taco sauce. “How did you come up with that?”

“I had a lot of time for reading while I lived at the rehab facility. After I finished up all of the books, I started on magazines. I have a lot of useless knowledge. Guess some that isn’t quite so useless.”

Andy finished eating all the eggs and he slid off the chair and headed to the door. “Hold up there, Andy. We have to all go together.”

Kylie hurried to catch up to her young charge, scooping up Maggie as she did. She glanced back at the mess on the table.

Eve motioned to her. “Go on. I’ll clean this up before I head back to the apartment.”

“You don’t want to go with us?” Kylie asked.

“No, I have to do some work.” Eve had been a translator in the military. She now did contract work from home. She said it paid the bills and kept her out of trouble. And she didn’t want to accept the help her parents offered.

Kylie and the kids left the house together. Kylie held Maggie’s hand on her left and Andy’s on her right, as they walked down the path to the stable. The men had returned. The cattle, some Hereford and some Angus, were milling about. The cattle dog, a border collie named Buster, circled through the herd, keeping them in a tight group. One of the men whistled and called the dog out of the corral.

Andy was enthralled. For that reason, Kylie didn’t let go of his hand, even when he pulled away a little. She led him around the corral to the group of men who were dismounting. He saw his daddy and hurried forward, flinging himself at Carson. Carson lifted his son up and held him tight.

“Do you want to sit on the horse?” When Andy nodded, Carson sat the boy in the saddle and put the cowboy hat he wore on Andy’s head. Andy grinned from ear to ear.

“Can I ride him?” he asked, speaking with more animation. She understood. Horses, dogs, all animals seemed to be great therapy for children and adults. They used a lot of animal therapy for the residents of Mercy Ranch.

Animals and plain old hard work.

Maggie reached out and Carson placed her in the saddle behind Andy. Kylie stretched her arm and rolled her shoulders. She’d never realized that one small child could be so heavy.

At one time she’d been strong. A roadside bomb had done more than broken her bones, it had robbed her of muscle strength. It had taken away her ability to have children. The injuries she’d suffered had left the surgeons no choice but to do a partial hysterectomy. So each time Maggie wrapped those sweet arms around her, each time Andy smiled up at her with one of his rare smiles, she felt happiness, anger, loss.

Carson being here with his children brought back more than memories of the past. She thought she’d dealt with everything, figured out the path her life would take and come to terms with what was lost and what she still had. Now, with their presence, a wave of longing swept over her, making her wish for things that could never be.

Life wasn’t fair. It took things. Important things. But she knew how to survive. She knew how to find faith. She knew in time she would deal with how it felt to have Carson and his children on the ranch, small reminders of what she couldn’t have. And she would somehow smile through this and survive.