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Imogen felt nervous, but more of an excited nervousness. Alice parents were lovely and they totally embraced them and their relationship. The girls could be themselves whenever they were round there and it was like a breath of fresh air.
Alice rang the doorbell and bounced on her feet excitedly. ‘Here goes.’ She gave a little squeal to emphasise her excitement.
‘Alice, Imogen, come in!’ Alice’s mum was tall and slender and she had the most beautiful long, chestnut hair, which she always wore in a plait. Older than Imogen’s parents, Alice’s parents were both retired and having run their own business for many years, were in a very good financial position. She ushered the girls in and greeted them both with a hug and a kiss. ‘Your father is in the garden sparking up the barbecue.’
‘Oh nice! You should’ve said you were going to do a barbecue, we would’ve brought some food with us.’
‘Oh, it was a last-minute thing, you know your father. He has these good ideas and you have to strike while it’s hot. Plus we didn’t know the weather was going to be like this, so we’re doing it before the rain comes. We’ve got plenty of food anyway.’ She turned to Imogen. ‘Are you okay, sweetie, you look a little peaky today?’
Imogen was stumped for a response, concentrating so hard on not blurting out their good news just yet, she froze and couldn’t think of a reply that wasn’t ‘I’m pregnant!’
‘She’s fine, she’s just tired, that’s all,’ Alice chipped in and Imogen smiled in thanks as Alice’s mum walked off into the kitchen shouting, you’ll need a cardy on though, Alice – the wind is chilly.
‘I don’t know why that happened,’ she whispered as she followed Alice through to the conservatory.
‘It’s fine. We will tell them in a minute and get it out, so you don’t have to keep it in.’ Alice smiled lovingly at Imogen, her big brown eyes creasing around the edges as she did so. ‘You’re such a weirdo, I love it.’
They walked out into the brightly lit conservatory and through into the garden, where she could see Alice’s dad standing broadly over the barbecue, placing various slabs of meat onto the grill.
‘Hey, Dad,’ Alice called out as she approached him. ‘Any excuse for a barbecue, hey? What’s cooking?’
‘There’s my girl.’ He stepped away from the barbecue and pulled her into a huge embrace, kissing her forehead. ‘And there’s my other girl.’ He repeated the same for Imogen. From the word go, Alice’s parents had treated Imogen like a second daughter.
‘Hi, how are you?’ she asked as she pulled out a chair from the table and sat down.
‘Yes, I’m good. Been tinkering with that car I showed you both last week, you know, the Stag?’
Imogen loved how passionate Alice’s dad was about cars. Alice had grown up with going to car auctions with her dad and helping him fix up old cars to sell on. More recently, he had been branching out into classic cars and a Triumph Stag was one of his favourites. He was so excited when he found this one last week, he had called Alice up and the pair of them had talked cars for almost an hour. Imogen didn’t understand the fascination, but she respected his passion and always engaged in conversation with him about his latest challenge whenever they met up.
‘How’s it going? Is it up and running yet?’ Imogen asked, feeling happy at the inclusion.
‘Oh, it’s a blinder. I’ll show you both after we’ve eaten. Here, Alice, you’ll take it for a spin, see how she runs?’
‘Course, Dad.’ Alice was going back and forth into the kitchen to help her mum bring out some food for the table. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Ims?’
‘Course she doesn’t mind. We can have a girly chat whilst you two are off doing your father- daughter-car thingy.’
Imogen laughed at Alice’s mum’s struggle with defining their quality time.
‘Well, that’s sorted, then.’
Because Alice had been a real daddy’s girl growing up – and still was – her mum had taken Imogen under her wing from the word go and she could tell that Alice’s mum secretly loved doing more girly things with her and talking about celebrities and clothes shopping and all your stereotypical ‘girl’ things. As much as Imogen and Alice were not your stereotypical gay couple, when it came to things like shopping and celebrities, Alice couldn’t give a monkeys, whereas her mum loved a gossip with Imogen.
‘Did you see that programme last night about the plastic surgery? That woman’s nose!’ Alice’s mum’s face was hilarious; the shock made her eyebrows rise and practically touch her hairline. She continued to pour out some juice for Imogen. ‘I mean, I know when we all get a bit older some of us like to get some help in the looks department. Hell, I wouldn’t say no to a few fillers here and there,’ she laughed, ‘but that nose job was horrendous!’
‘I didn’t see it. Not sure I have the guts to have surgery for anything. Imagine if it went wrong – especially on your face!’
‘You don’t need surgery, my lovely. You are perfect as you are.’
‘I’ll second that!’ Alice said from behind Imogen and she jumped in surprise.
‘You scared the life out of me; I thought you were in the kitchen.’
Alice placed the salad bowl in the centre of the table and laughed. ‘Sorry.’
When Alice had finished bringing all the food out and she had sat down at the table to join everyone else, she looked at Imogen and gave the slightest nod. Imogen nodded in return. They had agreed this little secret-code exchange before they’d left. Their way of letting each other know that they were ready to do the big announcement. Imogen took a deep breath.
‘Mum, Dad, we have some news.’
Imogen watched as Alice’s mum’s face began to light up. She had guessed already. Although, when someone says they have news, and they are already married, it is automatically your next thought. Alice’s dad, however, was still oblivious.
‘We are having a baby!’
Alice’s mum was already squealing and had jumped up instantly, pulling her daughter in for a huge hug. ‘Oh, my God, girls, that’s amazing news!’
‘Well, bloody hell!’ Alice’s dad, stood up. ‘Come here!’ He pulled Alice from her mum’s grasp and squeezed her into another.
Imogen didn’t have much time to take it in because Alice’s mum was now pulling her up, wrapping her arms around her and saying, ‘Imogen, this is the best news!’
‘Thanks, we can’t quite believe it ourselves.’
And here was her dad, pulling Imogen in for a cuddle.
They all took their seats back at the table.
‘When did this all happen? I mean, how long have you known?’ Alice’s mum was now sobbing. She took the tissue her husband was holding out for her and dabbed her eyes.
‘Imogen took the test yesterday morning. She got sent home from work because she was throwing up and she called me and then took the test and it was positive!’
Pride swelled in her chest as she listened to Alice retell the story. Alice was so excited and happy, the words were just tumbling out of her mouth and Imogen felt so emotional knowing that she was a part of the reason for making Alice so happy.
‘This calls for a celebration. I’ll get the special champagne out from the garage.’ Alice’s dad pointed at Imogen as he left the table. ‘Not for you, mind, you can have some orange juice.’ He winked at her and she laughed as she saluted him.
This was exactly how telling your parents should go.
Chapter 6
Pippa waited another half an hour before she picked up her phone and began to type. She hated it when he made her feel like this. It wasn’t as though she was an obsessive wife who needed to know where her husband was at every point during every day, but recently he had been so distracted when he was at home, she couldn’t help but wonder where he was when he wasn’t with her. This morning he had got up early and left, after telling her yesterday that he had some things to do at the office today and that he wouldn’t be too long. Even though it was a Saturday, she had been okay with it because she thought he wouldn’t be too long, as he had said. But it was now nearly five and he was still not home. She had tried everything to distract herself from the thoughts that had been accumulating in her mind. She couldn’t push out the images from before and what it had amounted to. Surely he wouldn’t do that to her again?
After doing her normal delivery to the café first thing, she had traipsed around town, picking up a few things for her bakes next week, some pregnancy essentials (which she had secretly really enjoyed doing after waiting so long to finally be able to buy them) and dinner for this evening, which she had decided would be a little celebration dinner following their amazing news yesterday. And finally, returning home to an empty house, she decided to clean the kitchen.
Cleaning was her go-to thing to do when she was stressed. A tidy house; a tidy mind was her motto. It was also the way, her friends had learned, that everyone kept tabs on how Pippa was feeling. They knew that when the house was sparkling, Pippa had something on her mind or was feeling stressed about work-related things – not that she would ever admit to it. She took pride in everyone thinking she was the perfect housewife and business owner. Funnily enough, no one ever questioned her marriage. She supposed that was because, on the surface, Pippa had a fairytale marriage. She and Jason had met in high school and got together when they were just fifteen. They split up for a bit when Jason had got itchy feet about being tied down and she had caught him texting another woman. She later found out he had been having an affair with her. But after a few years apart, he came back to her, claiming to have got it out of his system. He missed her and wanted to settle down and they had got married the following year. Jason had been at his job at the communications company since he started when he was seventeen and had worked his way up the career ladder to manager. Of course, when he started, he was simply an assistant to the assistant of the regional manager. Their friends would joke that he was an assistant’s assistant and would tease him about having such a mediocre job. But he worked hard and had now worked up to being regional manager himself. He worked long hours, but it was financially rewarding and meant they could buy their dream home out in the Shropshire countryside that they had both always dreamed of. It also meant that they were financially stable enough so that Pippa could take a step back from work temporarily when she had the baby. This had been the case for quite some time now, but she just hadn’t fallen pregnant. But now, she had finally conquered that stage and was now well on her way to fulfilling their dreams and starting the family she had always wanted.
Except, behind the perfect marriage image that she and Jason portrayed, things were falling apart. He was spending more and more time at work recently and she hardly got to see him. He would come home stressed and, as a result, they would argue and whenever he had time at home, or if they went on holiday, after a couple of days of niceties, he would become distracted and distant and she felt she had to fight for his attention away from his mobile phone. ‘It’s work stuff’ he would tell her, ‘I can’t just leave them at the office fending for themselves without me; the place would fall apart if I wasn’t there.’ Which was lovely, knowing how important he was to the company, but when you are out for a romantic meal on holiday and your husband keeps whipping out his phone, it is hardly the romantic dinner a girl dreams of.
How’s it going? Will you be much longer? Xx
She sent the message and waited another half an hour before trying to call. Voicemail. She left a message for him to call her when he got it and finally, at six-thirty, she heard from him.
‘Hi, sweetheart, sorry I took so long. Things have been manic here. I swear, without me, this place would go under!’
‘Well they are incredibly lucky to have such a hardworking employee. I didn’t think it was going to take so long today. I thought you would be home by midday.’ She was being totally honest when she said this. When he said to her yesterday that he had to go in and sort some things out, she thought two, maybe three, hours maximum, and then they could go out and spend some quality time together. He had been working so much recently, it was actually a miracle she had even fallen pregnant. Had they not had that crazy weekend last month, she would have claimed miraculous conception or even tested the theory of ‘there must be something in the air’.
‘Yeah, well, so did I, but as soon as I sorted one problem out, another one materialised.’
‘Is it that Patrick again?’
‘Yeah, the guy is a liability.’
She sighed. This bloke who worked there, Patrick, seemed to be at the bottom of everything that got messed up at Jason’s work. Pippa was a very forgiving person, but this Patrick was really starting to get on her nerves. ‘How comes he hasn’t been fired by now? This guy has been causing you so much extra work; surely he’s had his quota of mistakes by now?’
‘You would think, but it’s out of my hands. I’ve told the guys up in head office about him but apparently he’s really good at his job, in general, so they seem to overlook all these little mistakes he’s making. It doesn’t seem to matter that it creates a whole barrage of work for other people.’
‘So it’s not just you, there are other people that have to go in of a weekend to catch up?’
‘Yeah, there’s a few of us here. The guy has a lot to answer for, causing this much additional work.’
Pippa gave up. There was clearly no point in this conversation. She really disliked this Patrick for taking up so much of their free time together. She could only hope that the guy would trip himself up sooner or later and she would get her husband back. ‘Anyway, never mind that, are you coming home now?’
‘Yeah, I’ll be home soon.’
‘I’ll wait for you then. I bought some bits in town today. I thought we could have a nice dinner together, you know, to celebrate?’
‘Sounds great. I’ll call you when I leave.’
Pippa hung up and after looking at the time, decided to put the dinner on hold. She went upstairs and pulled open her wardrobe. It had been a few weeks since they’d had some quality time together. She pulled out a little black dress and her make-up bag and quickly typed a text.
Let’s make this a night to remember and go out to celebrate. Text me when you leave and I’ll meet you at the station xx
She typed another message to Zoe.
Do you want to meet up for some celebratory dinner with me and Jason? You can bring the new boyfriend?
*****
Pippa had been sitting on the sofa watching the clock for the past hour. Every minute that went by, her mood worsened. First irritation (he’s always bloody late), then frustration (why can’t he be on time, just once), then anger (he’s taking the piss) and now, worry (oh my God, what if something has happened?) She took one last glance at the clock as it ticked over to 11pm and then pressed call on her phone.
It took Jason two separate calls before he finally picked up.
‘Pip?’ he called out, shouting over the loud music in the background.
‘Jason? Is everything okay?’
‘What? Oh yeah, fine. You?’
A surge of rage bolted through her body. ‘Where are you?’
‘What? I can’t hear you properly, hang on.’ She listened as the music gradually died down to a dull hum in the background. ‘That’s better, what’s up?’
‘Where are you?’ She was now pacing the living room.
‘I’m at the Bull and Hound; they’ve got live music in tonight. The band is fucking awesome!’
‘What are you doing there? I sent you a text asking you to let me know when you were on your way home.’ She was throwing her arms about as she spoke, not caring that he couldn’t see her. ‘I arranged for Zoe and her new boyfriend to meet us – I told you this!’
‘I know and I will. I’m not leaving yet, so I haven’t texted. Jeez, chill the fuck out.’
‘Why have you gone to the pub? I got dressed up; I thought we were going to celebrate tonight?’ The anger was subsiding but Pippa found herself getting emotional now. Bloody hormones.
‘I am celebrating. What’s the big deal?’
Annoyance dripped through her tone. ‘I meant, together!’
‘Well come down here, then.’ He had clearly started to make his way back into the pub as the music was getting louder again.
‘Jason, I don’t want to be in a pub full of drunken people and loud music. I thought we could celebrate together, you know, a meal or something.’ Like she was going to let everyone see Jason treat her like shit because he was drunk. No chance. She needed it to be just him and her when he was like this. She didn’t want to give anyone fuel for gossip.
‘What?’
‘Go back outside, it’s too loud!’ She was shouting now. She hated it when he had a drink. He was supposed to be cutting down now that she was pregnant. Guess there was no chance of that happening.
‘Listen, I’ll be home by midnight and I’ll bring in a takeaway, yeah? We can have our meal then.’ He then raised his voice to be heard over the music, calling out to a friend, ‘Yeah, get me another one. Same again!’
‘Jason, please. Just come home.’ She knew what he was like when he drank too much and she really didn’t want to have to deal with him later on.
‘Oh get off my case, Pip; I’m having a few drinks with mates. I’ll be home at midnight.’
And with that, he hung up. And Pippa knew he wouldn’t be home at midnight, so she took herself upstairs and after getting changed out of her dress and taking her make-up off, she got into bed and let the tears fall, where no one could see her. She looked through her phone messages to Zoe, cancelling the meet because of ‘nausea’. She hated it when Jason’s selfishness meant she had to cancel things and lie to her friends. If she didn’t want this baby so much, she would just walk out the door and never come back. She hated the financial hold he had on her.
Chapter 7
‘Morning, sleepy head.’
Ellie opened her eyes as a stream of sunlight shot into the room as a result of Zoe opening the living-room curtains. She groaned and pulled the cover up over her face.
‘Here, I made you a coffee. It’s decaf, mind.’
‘Why?’ Ellie’s voice was muffled by the cover.
‘Because you need to reduce the amount of caffeine you are drinking. It’s not good for the baby.’
Ellie pulled the cover off and sat up a little, making room on the end of the sofa for Zoe to sit down. ‘No, I mean, why did you bring me a coffee?’
‘Listen,’ Zoe perched on the edge of the sofa not far from Ellie’s feet and passed the cup. ‘I am sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to upset you with all that talk about Dad. I just wanted to make you see that he’s not a monster and it would be good for you to have him around, you know, especially now.’
The reality of why she was here at her sister’s came crashing back down and she was forced to think about everything again. She sipped at her coffee for something to do, it tasted bitter.
‘You know that I will always be here for you and that I will do everything I can to make things okay, but just don’t forget about Dad. I know he misses having you around and I miss having my family. It’s bad enough Mum not being here, but having to see you and Dad separately all the time drives me crazy. We should be sticking together, not pushing each other away. It makes it really hard on me – I hate having to choose all the time.’
‘I’m not asking you to choose.’
‘You kind of are, Ellie. You two not being able to be in the same room together without creating tension means I have to split myself. It’s not fair on me. Plus I know Dad would want to be involved with you having a baby – he’d love to have a grandchild!’
Ellie shook her head. ‘Let’s not get too carried away.’
Zoe huffed. ‘Honesty, it’s like talking to a brick wall sometimes.’
Ellie shrugged, reverting to acting like a child. Sometimes when she and Zoe were together she found herself behaving as she would’ve done at eleven years old, having her annoying fourteen-year-old sister around.
‘How comes you slept on the sofa and not in the spare room?’ Zoe peered at her over her coffee cup.
Ellie avoided eye contact. ‘I was watching a film and I must’ve fallen asleep.’
‘Fair enough. So, I’ve been thinking. We need to sort a plan out so that we know what we are doing and how we are going to do it. First things first, you need to tell Chris.’
Ellie groaned and dropped her head back so that it rested on the back of the sofa. ‘Not this again.’
‘Come on, you owe it to him to tell him. What have you got to lose?’
‘Err, let me think. My best friend, my job, my freedom… my sanity!’ She listed them on her free hand, one finger at a time.
‘Oh you’re such a drama queen. You will not lose your sanity and the rest we can sort out. You can’t just hide away at my place and pretend nothing is happening. You need to go and see a doctor, get the ball rolling with a midwife, put things in place ready for when the baby comes…’
Ellie felt her chest tighten listening to all this talk about the baby. ‘Look, I haven’t even decided what I am going to do yet. There’s no point in involving Chris in this until I know what I am doing.’
‘What you are doing? Ellie, you’re not going to do anything stupid, are you?’ Zoe eyed her suspiciously and Ellie had to turn away again.
‘I don’t know what I am going to do. I need time to think. It’s all happening too fast and I’ve got work appointments next week to sort out and I need to do a new order for this film I am doing next month and –’
‘Ellie, I am afraid that’s life. When shit gets thrown at you, you have to suck it up and deal with it. Not brush it under the carpet and hope that it will go away. And this definitely won’t go away; this will become more and more prominent in your life, so you need to work out what you are doing. I will help you. You don’t have to go through this alone, but you do have to tell Chris.’
She knew she had to tell Chris, but she was so scared of losing him. ‘Zoe, what happened between me and Chris – it was a mistake. A huge mistake that should never have happened.’ And it shouldn’t have happened all the other times too. What was she thinking? Nobody can have a sexual relationship without the possibility of it getting complicated. She wished she had learnt this lesson before she got pregnant.
‘But it did!’
‘Don’t I bloody know it!’
There was a long pause, where both girls didn’t know what to say next. Ellie thumbed the mug and stared down into the shiny brown liquid. She knew her sister would be like this. Maybe, subconsciously, that’s why she came up here. She needed her sister to take control of the situation and tell her what she needed to do. This is exactly what she did when their mum died. She pulled Ellie back onto the straight and narrow and yet here she was again, nearly ten years later, and asking her sister to do the same. Would she ever learn? The thought of her being such a burden weighed down in her stomach and she felt guilty. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled, taking another sip of coffee.
‘What are you sorry for?’ Zoe had now leant back and had her feet up on the coffee table, her long legs bare, with just a small pair of bed shorts on.
‘For always being such a mess. For always relying on you to pick up the pieces when I make a mistake… for being a crap sister.’
‘Don’t be silly, you aren’t a crap sister.’
‘I bloody feel like one. It’s never the other way around, is it? It’s never you coming to me and needing help to sort your life out. You’re so confident and clever and… just… Zoe. You never make mistakes; you never do anything wrong.’ Zoe looked away from Ellie and seemed a little uncomfortable. She was playing with her cup and looked awkward. ‘What’s wrong?’ Ellie asked, eyeing her sister suspiciously.
‘Nothing.’ She didn’t look at her.
‘Well, it doesn’t look like nothing.’ Ellie nudged her with her foot from under the cover.
‘Ellie, everyone makes mistakes. Even me.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean? You’re Little Miss Perfect, you don’t make mistakes. Everything seems to fall into your lap and you make things happen.’
Zoe turned her head to look at Ellie, her expression more serious than she had been for ages. ‘Everything doesn’t just fall into my lap. I work bloody hard for everything that I have.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying, some people are really lucky in life and others, well, others seem to get all the bad luck. Like me.’
‘I get bad luck too. I have my moments of weakness and I do things wrong. It’s not what happens to you in life; it’s how you deal with things. That’s the difference.’
Ellie eyed her suspiciously. Zoe looked uncomfortable, sad. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
‘What do you mean?’ The colour had drained out a little from her face.
‘You’re not telling me something. Why do you keep saying how you aren’t perfect, how you get things wrong?’ She paused, but didn’t drop her gaze. Zoe, however, wouldn’t look at her. ‘Zoe? What aren’t you telling me?’ she pressed.
Zoe exhaled and shuffled in her seat, turning round to face Ellie front-on. ‘Listen, I don’t want you to get rid of the baby. I think you will regret it for the rest of your life.’ She looked away. ‘I did.’
Ellie felt her stomach flip. The air suddenly became tight and she felt her throat close slightly with anxiety. ‘What do you mean, ‘you did’?’
‘Ellie, things happen in life that you can’t control and sometimes you have to make a decision based on what you can control.’
‘I don’t understand.’ She kind of understood, but she didn’t want to.
‘I have been pregnant before.’ The silence in the air that followed this revelation was both uncomfortable and strange. Zoe looked back up at her. ‘I didn’t have a choice. It was a volatile relationship and I had got myself into a situation I couldn’t get out of. And then I found myself pregnant.’
‘Shit,’ Ellie whispered as she reached across the sofa and held Zoe’s hand.
‘I couldn’t bring a baby into that environment. I had spent months gearing up to leaving him because he was,’ she swallowed, ‘he was physical with me.’
‘Zoe…’ Ellie breathed out. She felt distraught for her sister, but underneath a bubble of anger was beginning to brew.
‘It’s fine. I’m not with him now.’ She tried to laugh, but it came out strained.
‘So you got an abortion?’
‘I’m not proud of my decision and I regret it every single day. But I just couldn’t bring a baby into that. I was worried sick that he would hurt the baby and then I would be the worst mum in the world because I couldn’t stop it happening.’
‘Oh Zoe, why didn’t you tell me?’
She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter. I didn’t want anyone else to know. I was ashamed of being so weak to let things get to that stage.’
‘It’s not weak, Zoe. For Christ sake, it’s him who should be feeling shitty, not you!’ She felt the anger building. ‘Who was he?’
‘It doesn’t matter –’
‘It does bloody matter; he deserves to be in prison for what he did.’ Her voice was shaky, but controlled. For now.
‘Ellie, it doesn’t matter. It was years ago and I’m okay. He can’t hurt me any more; I’m a different person to who I was back then. I’m stronger.’
‘When was it?’ She shuffled in her seat, still making sure she held Zoe’s hand, not letting go of her. She never wanted to let go of her. She should have been here for her when it happened and she didn’t think she could ever forgive herself for not.
‘Not long after Mum died.’
Ellie gasped, feeling the tears spring to her eyes.
‘I wasn’t coping very well and he came along and was so charming. I think he could sense that I was weak. He said all the right things I needed to hear and I let my guard down. It took me about six months to realise that I was in too deep and had become reliant on him. He knew it too. So he started to get heavy-handed if I didn’t do what he wanted and it just went downhill.’
‘Oh God, Zoe. Why didn’t you tell me, or Dad? He would’ve gone mad.’
‘That’s exactly why I didn’t tell him. But then I found out I was pregnant and that night we had an argument and he pushed me and I fell down the stairs.’
‘Oh my God, when you broke your arm!’ It was a statement rather than a question. Ellie remembered when Zoe came to visit and she had her arm in a cast. ‘You said you fell down the stairs.’
‘And I did. I just… had a little help.’ She looked down into her lap, clearly ashamed. ‘Ellie, I couldn’t bring a baby into that.’
‘I know. You did the right thing.’ She rubbed her thumb over Zoe’s hand.
‘Didn’t feel like the right thing.’
‘I can’t believe you went through all that on your own.’
‘I didn’t want anyone to see how stupid I had been.’ She coughed and composed herself, ‘Listen, all I’m saying is that you need to think long and hard before doing anything stupid. Because what you decide now will affect you for the rest of your life. Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s the right decision for you.’
‘Is that what you think we would’ve thought? That you had been stupid? Zoe, you are a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.’
‘I got myself into that situation, didn’t I? That was stupid.’
‘No, that was grief. It does fucked-up things to your mind. I should know – it royally fucked up mine.’ She felt a glimmer of relief that she now knew she wasn’t the only one to have let it get to her, though. When she thought Zoe was handling life perfectly well, underneath she was crumbling too. And as horrible as that was, it was comforting to know.
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