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Читать книгу: «The First Time Mums’ Club», страница 2
Chapter 2
‘Ellie, what are you doing here?’
Zoe whipped her sister into a huge, warm embrace and Ellie instantly felt the urge to cry. She had held onto the emotion for the whole three-hour drive it had taken to get to her sister’s café, but the second she had wrapped her arms around her, tears rapidly filled her eyes …
‘Just wanted to see my sister, that’s all,’ she croaked, knowing full well that this line was not going to work on her.
Zoe pulled away from Ellie, looking at her in a way clearly indicating that she didn’t buy the story. She still had her hands on Ellie’s shoulders when she added, ‘Really, Els, what’s up?’
‘I just needed to get away.’
She didn’t need to say any more. Zoe smiled at her – you know, the kind of smile that said Okay, you don’t want to talk, that’s fine – and ushered her into the kitchen at the back of the café. ‘Here, sit down and I’ll make you a cuppa.’
Ellie took the proffered stool and instantly felt a rush of relief. Everything was going to be okay. She was here, her big sister would help her and everything would be okay. Zoe and Ellie’s relationship was a close one. They hadn’t been particularly close growing up, but once they got into their teens, their closeness began to grow. And when Zoe decided to fly the nest, she did it properly and moved what felt like a million miles away to Shropshire. It broke Ellie’s heart, not that she showed it, and even though they spoke on the phone pretty much every day, she missed having her big sister just around the corner. When Ellie had flown the nest, she’d moved a hundred yards down the road from their family home. Whilst she was adventurous in the sense that she pursued her career as a make-up artist, slaving away for pretty much no money for hours every day just to get experience until she qualified, she still liked to be close to the family home. When their mum died, nearly ten years ago now, Ellie fell apart. Zoe had come back home to London – it had only been a few months since she had moved to Shropshire – and picked up all the pieces whilst Ellie went off the rails a little. Not a fact she was proud of but she needed to do it. It was her way of coping. Being the older sister had its unwritten responsibilities and Zoe stepped up whilst Ellie crumbled. But Ellie never forgave herself for that.
Yet, here she was again – running to Zoe to help pick up the pieces. She would never match up to her perfect sister, so why bother trying?
‘So, come on. You clearly haven’t driven 170-odd miles just to have a cuppa with me. What’s going on?’
‘Nothing major. Just needed a break and I figured I haven’t seen you for a few months and it was time I came to you.’ She shrugged to add effect to the I’m fine, what’s the big deal persona she had created the second she entered the café.
Zoe didn’t buy it, but instead of grilling her, she just said, ‘Hmm, fair enough. How long are you here for?’
Ellie hadn’t thought that far ahead. When she saw the little pink line on the test, she’d panicked. She hadn’t even said anything to the director of the shoot she was on, just grabbed her stuff and left. She had numerous calls on her phone throughout the car journey here and a few stroppy voicemails too. This was not going to be good for her reputation. But she didn’t know what else to do. She couldn’t run to her dad for help, he would go mad at her. Ellie was ever the disappointment to him. She was nothing like his Zoe. ‘Why can’t you be more like your sister,’ he would throw at her in the years following their mum’s death. Because Zoe, whilst she mourned, took it as a springboard and catapulted herself into work, opening up the café and making it a success. Whereas Ellie struggled to stick at a job and then decided to take up being a make-up artist – much to the dismay of her father. Their relationship broke down and she barely spoke to him now.
And normally, in a situation like this, she would go to Chris for advice. But that was off the table, too.
So here she was. In Shropshire and indirectly calling out to Zoe for help. She just needed to pluck up the courage to actually tell her.
‘I don’t know yet. I’ve taken a little break from work and I thought I’d come and explore the countryside. See what all the fuss is about!’ she smiled at Zoe, a big fat fake one, and sipped the tea. ‘Ah man, Zoe, you do seriously make a wicked cup of tea. I’ve missed these!’
‘Why, thank you. Do you know what you’re missing, though?’
Ellie shook her head.
‘A slice of cake. Bakewell or Victoria sponge?’
Ellie thought for a second; there was only one reply to this question at a time like this. ‘Both.’
*****
Pippa had just finished boxing up all the cakes for tomorrow’s delivery to Zoe when Jason walked in the front door. She jumped in surprise at the sound of the door slamming and knocked a box of cupcakes onto the floor.
‘Damn it!’ she cursed, hurriedly picking them up and inspecting the damage. ‘Great!’ All but one cupcake out of the box of twelve, had split open, causing a frosting crime scene. She dumped the box on the side and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard. She could whip up a batch of cupcakes with her eyes closed, but she had looked forward to having a sit-down after her hectic day today, she was so tired. In all the pregnancy books she had read – which was a lot – right about now the baby would be the size of a lentil – how was something that small making her feel so shattered?
Jason strolled past the kitchen door without even popping his head in to say hello. Pippa knew instinctively that this must mean he hadn’t had a good day at work. She glanced at the clock; he wasn’t due home for another hour yet. She placed the bowl down onto the side and made her way into the living room.
‘Hi honey, you’re home early?’ He was slumped on the sofa, already flicking through the channels. He didn’t answer. She walked over to him and sat down next to him, placing a hand on his knee. He wasn’t a big man but, at the same time, he wasn’t slim. But that’s what Pippa had always loved about him, having a bit of meat to hold onto. Except that recently he had started to lose weight. Not enough to change his appearance massively, but enough to be noticeable. She knew he had been stressed at work lately because his whole attitude had started to be short and distance. And now it was clearly having an effect on his weight. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Fine,’ was his reply. He didn’t move to indicate he had felt her hand.
‘What’s happened?’ She tried not to take his bad mood personally, but she couldn’t help it. His sharpness stabbed at her emotions like a knife and she felt the tears prickle behind her eyes as frustration showed its face.
He exhaled impatiently and stood up. ‘Just a bad day.’
‘Well, talk to me. I’m your wife, that’s what I’m here for.’ Same argument, different day.
He turned to look at her in frustration, hands brushing through his short, cropped brown hair. ‘Why? You’re hardly going to be able to help me. I come home to chill out, not bring my work home and spend hours talking about it. See, this is what you don’t understand. You skip off every day to your silly little job baking cakes and talking to women when I’m at work slogging my guts out to bring home a decent wage. This house, the bills… those clothes you’re wearing. It’s all because of my job. My hard work. So when I’ve had a bad day, the least you can do is let me chill out and not annoy the hell out of me!’
‘Jason…’ she started to talk but the tears had now filled her eyes and she hiccupped as one rolled down her cheek.
He looked at her and for a fleeting moment she saw irritation in his expression, before he exhaled. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just been a really shitty day at the office and I’d rather not talk about it.’ He put his arm around her and hugged her close, stroking along her back as she snuggled into his chest. ‘Come on, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. You know I don’t mean all that.’
She sniffed back the tears. ‘I just hate seeing you like this. Every day for the last few weeks, you’ve been coming home miserable.’ She felt disappointment settle as she knew her whole revelation of being pregnant was not going to go as planned now. ‘And you know I try my hardest to earn more. I’m trying my best and I promise I will try harder to make more money so that I can help out more. I’m getting there.’ She hated this argument. They bickered regularly and every single time the argument came back to money and how she didn’t contribute as much as he did. And she felt really shit about it.
‘I know, I’m sorry. It’s just things are pretty hectic and today Betty walked out, leaving me with no receptionist and a shed load of meetings planned for next week…’
‘Oh no!’ she gasped. ‘Why did she walk out?’ Pippa liked Betty.
‘Who knows? She said she’d had enough of being treated the way she was and that she was done. She just stood up and left. Just like that. No word of warning, no letter of resignation, just… gone.’
‘Honey, I’m sorry.’ She rubbed his arm, but again, he didn’t react. ‘But maybe I can cheer you up?’
A smile immediately crept across his face as he sat back down on the sofa and leaned into her, sliding his hand along her thigh and nuzzling into her neck. ‘No, wait, I didn’t mean that,’ Pippa smiled as she gently pushed him off. ‘Wait here, I’ve got something that might make you smile.’ She jumped up and ran into the kitchen, opening her handbag and rummaging for the card.
‘Shall I just meet you upstairs?’ he called out, innuendo screaming from his comment.
‘No, wait there. I’m coming.’ She grabbed the card and in one swift movement, slid it behind her back to hide. She walked into the living room with the biggest smile plastered across her cheeks. She couldn’t wait to see his face. ‘Are you ready?’
‘As I’ll ever be,’ came the response and he held out his hands.
She placed the card into them and squeaked like a mouse as she sat down next to him again. ‘Go on, open it.’
‘It’s not my birthday, Pip.’ He eyed the card suspiciously.
‘It’s not a birthday card.’
He looked at her in confusion. ‘Well, what is it, then?’
‘Just open it and find out!’
He thumbed the envelope open and stared at the Surprise! text. Another glance to her with knitted eyebrows indicated just how baffled he was.
‘Go on…’ she prompted. The excitement was just too much. Swarms of butterflies circled inside her tummy as the anticipation grew. Seven years she had waited for this moment. Seven years she had spent reading textbooks and looking online and planning every second of her dream pregnancy and now was the time.
He opened the card and read the words. Silence. He didn’t move for what felt like minutes, though it was probably only a few seconds. Slowly he looked up at her. ‘Are you serious?’
She nodded, hardly able to contain her excitement. ‘Yes.’
He looked back down to the card and then placed his head in his hands. Pippa instantly switched from elation to disappointment. ‘What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy?’
He hesitated before saying, ‘Of course I am.’
‘Well, it doesn’t look like you are.’ The tears were welling again.
He shook his head. ‘I am. It’s just not great timing, with everything going on at work. But it’s fine, we’ll get through it. It’s fine.’
Pippa couldn’t hide her disappointment. She took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from falling. This wasn’t how this scenario was meant to play out. In her head he had been up and screaming with elation. Jumping around, holding her tight and saying how he couldn’t believe, after this many years, that he was finally about to become a daddy.
But no. He didn’t do any of that. He hadn’t even given her a hug. She slid along the sofa towards him and held out her arms.
‘Sorry baby, come here.’ He pulled her in for the cuddle she longed for but it didn’t feel sincere. It felt forced, like he didn’t mean it. ‘We’ll get through this, it’ll be fine. I just need to work out what I’m going to do at work. But it’ll be fine.’
But she didn’t feel fine. She felt cheated. This was supposed to be their life-changing moment.
And it had fallen flat on its face.
Chapter 3
Ellie looked around the café and took it all in. She hadn’t been up here for absolutely ages and was really quite impressed with how far Zoe had come. She let her eyes run over every inch as she sipped at the third cup of tea Zoe had placed in front of her now that she was sitting at a table in the corner. When Zoe had taken the café on, it was the most miserable- looking building you could imagine. Paint peeling from the walls, a dingy kitchen that needed some serious TLC and a broken window. But now, looking at it, Ellie couldn’t believe how amazing it looked.
She absolutely loved the way Zoe had kept things so simple but it gave such a punch. The walls were kept an off-cream colour, but she had explosions of vibrant pinks and greens to accentuate. Light fittings, the serving hatch and bookshelves, all splashed with colour, kept the room feeling bright and exciting. There was a new addition since the last time she was here too, in the form of a little section in one corner, which housed a few shelving units and a table filled with things to purchase. Ellie stood and took a stroll over to it to browse. The shelves were full of little bits and pieces, bespoke, unique, one-of-a-kind-type objects. She chose a little figurine of two girls playing with some building blocks and was immediately transported back to being four years old and playing with Zoe. She missed those days. When had life become so complicated?
It was the teatime rush and there were swarms of people buzzing around and lining up waiting to be served. Ellie had offered to help her sister but was told, categorically, to sit down, have some more tea and relax. Thankful for the excuse to not talk about what was going on in her life, she took the chance and did as she was asked.
Weaving her way back to the table she was sitting at, Ellie took her phone out and saw that she had fourteen missed calls, two voicemails and three text messages. She was glad she had put it onto silent when she got here. She knew Jenni wouldn’t let up about the job. She quickly flicked through the texts first. Nothing of interest: just two from work and one from her neighbour asking about the milkman. She led such an interesting life. Next, she scrolled the missed-call list. Pretty much what she expected. Jenni… Jenni… Jenni… oh…
She looked at his name. Why had he tried to call her? Did he know? He couldn’t know, she hadn’t told anyone. She felt a wave of nausea creep up and swallowed it down, trying to stop the impending fear creeping up. She hesitated before clicking onto the voicemail and tentatively listening.
‘Ellie, its Jenni,’ Relief flooded her body quicker than a hot shower. ‘I don’t know what is going on with you today but you need to sort yourself out and call me back. I need to know whether I need a new make-up artist for the shoots I have you booked for next week. Call me as soon as you get this, please.’
She wasn’t happy. But then again, neither would Ellie be if someone she had booked for work just up and left without an explanation. She listened as her phone told her she had another new message.
‘Els, it’s me.’ She held her breath as she listened to Chris’s silky voice. ‘Why aren’t you answering my calls? You said you wouldn’t be weird. Come on, pick up.’
She placed her phone on the table and dropped her head into her hands, her straightened hair falling over her shoulders and brushing the tabletop. What had she got herself into?
‘Well, that doesn’t look like someone who is fine.’
Ellie snapped her head up to look at her sister. She laughed nervously, to buy herself some precious seconds of thinking time. ‘I’m just tired after the long drive, that’s all.’
Zoe placed a plate in front of Ellie that had a cheese-and-tomato panini with salad and crisps on the side. ‘Maybe this will help perk you up.’ She followed with a can of Coke and a straw.
‘Thanks, sis.’
‘No problem. Eat up and when I’ve shut up shop I’ll take you upstairs to sort your stuff. I figure you have stuff with you… in the car?’
Oh right, stuff. That would’ve come in handy ‘Um… actually….’ The thought hadn’t crossed her mind until now. She didn’t bring anything because she just got in the car and drove. Whereas in the past her impulsiveness had brought her many exciting adventures, sometimes it simply backfired.
‘It’s fine. I’ve got everything you’ll need.’ She placed a hand on Ellie’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. ‘You eat up and we’ll have a chat when we go upstairs. I’ve only got a few more bits to do, so I won’t be long.’
Ellie smiled her thanks and took a bite from her panini. She wasn’t looking forward to this conversation.
*****
‘Imogen, where are you?’
She immediately jumped up from the sofa and ran to the hallway to greet Alice. As she rounded the corner of the stairs, she saw the flowers first.
‘Oh my God, where are you?’ she joked, peering around the huge bunch of flowers to see Alice’s face. ‘These are humungous!’
‘Only the best for my beautiful girl.’ She handed the flowers to Imogen and leant in for a kiss. Imogen smiled as Alice’s soft lips brushed delicately onto hers.
‘They’re gorgeous, Alice, thank you.’ She looked at the array of pinks and green and instantly fell in love with the vibrant yellow sunflower in the centre of the arrangement.
‘And I got this for me – but you can’t have any, Mummy.’ Alice held up the bottle of champagne and Imogen didn’t care at all. Not one bit. Because she was carrying their first baby. The baby they had longed so many years for. The baby they had spent weeks crying over when the test results had showed a negative time after time.
‘Guess I’ll have to get used to not drinking for the next nine months, eh?’ She rolled her eyes dramatically, but really she couldn’t care less about this fact.
‘It’s okay, I’ll hold the fort and take on your drinking for you.’
‘Come on, sit down. Put your feet up and I’ll start the dinner.’ Imogen turned to walk away when Alice shouted,
‘Wait!’ Imogen froze as Alice stopped her with her hand and walked back out of the front door.
‘Where are you going?’ She leaned forward and tried to see what she was doing. She watched Alice get another bag out of the boot of her car and return. The smell of vinegar hit her nose as she entered into the hallway and Imogen smiled. ‘Chippy?’
‘Well, you can’t join me with the champagne, so I figured you have to celebrate somehow.’
‘You, Alice, are amazing.’
‘Do you think you can stomach it? How are you feeling now?’
They walked into the kitchen together and Alice grabbed two plates from the cupboard as Imogen found a home for her beautiful bouquet. ‘I feel okay, it comes in waves. Let’s get this down me before the next wave comes.’ Imogen grabbed the ketchup and a glass for Alice’s champagne whilst Alice took the food through to the dining table.
‘So, how was work?’ Imogen asked, delving into the chips as she spoke, their salty taste working wonders on her nausea. It had been ages since she’d eaten a takeaway. They had been trying to be super-healthy whilst trying to conceive, as the consultant had asked them to make sure everything was as good as they could make it to ensure optimum conceiving chances. So Imogen had strictly watched what and how much she ate, trying to get her body to its best so as not to cause any unnecessary problems. But how she had longed for chips from the chippy for months. And Alice knew this. So the fact she’d brought these in today simply showed Imogen the exact reason why she loved her so much. Her thoughtfulness was impeccable and it really mattered. It’s the little things that mean the most and Alice was very good at getting those little things spot on.
‘It was actually quite a good day. We completed some house sales and remember that house we put up last week that had been on with our rivals for months? Well, we sold it today!’ She pulled her long, brown hair back into a ponytail and then continued to eat.
‘You’re joking! How do you do it?’
‘Because we are brilliant.’ Alice puffed out her chest and Imogen laughed. ‘Seriously, though, that house spent months up with another agent, but we managed to sell it in four days! I’m so proud of the team.’
‘That’s great news. So we have a few things to celebrate, then?’
‘Damn right. Have you told your mum?’
Imogen was waiting to see how long it would take her to ask. She had thought of nothing else all day. Every time she even thought of ringing her mum she felt sick – and that wasn’t even the nausea. That was sheer panic. She knew exactly how her mum was going to react.
‘Not yet.’
Alice leant forward and squeezed Imogen’s hand. ‘It’ll be okay, you know that?’
She shrugged. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry any more.
‘Imogen, listen. Whatever happens, you will always have me, okay? I will never let you down and I am not going anywhere. This baby will have us both and it will be loved, no matter what other people want to say to us or behind our backs.’
‘I know.’ She did know. ‘It’s just hard. I know what she will say. She gets me all worked up, right under my skin. She knows what she is doing.’
‘She might be fine. She’s finally getting the grandchild she thought she would never have. She might surprise you and be excited.’ Alice tried to put on a confident face but they both knew that was highly unlikely.
Imogen snorted. ‘Yeah, and pigs might fly.’
‘Come on, what’s the worst that might happen?’
Imogen let all the thoughts crowd into her head. Her mum might disown her, feeling so ashamed that her daughter was having a baby with another woman that she couldn’t bear to even look or talk to her any more, so she might decide to cut all ties and leave Imogen without parents, because her dad sure wouldn’t stand up to her mum. Or maybe she’d get really angry and end up shouting abuse down the phone to her. Or worst still, become so upset that Imogen had been a disappointment of a daughter and not what she had ‘brought her up to be’ as she had said on many occasions, and spend the whole time crying down the phone, making Imogen feel like the biggest regret of her mother’s life.
But instead of saying all this, she simply replied, ‘I guess I’m just not ready to say anything to her yet. Let’s wait until we have seen the doctor and everything is okay.’ She tried to avoid Alice’s stare. ‘Please?’ she added.
‘Okay, if that’s what you want to do, then I’ll support you.’ Alice stood and slipped out of her suit jacket, revealing her perfectly formed petite body, which Imogen loved. Alice was a confident, powerful, assertive woman, wrapped up in a beautiful petite package.
‘Have you told your mum yet?’
Alice shook her head. ‘I thought we might go and visit them this weekend and tell them in person?’
Alice’s parent lived about half an hour away and Imogen thought about travelling in a car whilst feeling sick, but decided that she needed to feel some support around her. Alice’s parents were amazing. They were sure to be over the moon and she needed to surround herself with positivity at this moment in time. ‘Sounds like a great idea.’
‘Great, I’ll call after dinner to see when they’re free.’
‘Okay and we need to call the clinic. Tell them we’ve had a positive test.’
Alice laughed and shook her head.
‘What?’ Imogen couldn’t help but smile along, even though she had no idea what Alice was smiling at.
‘I just can’t believe it, Imogen. We are going to be parents!’
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